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AIBU to be upset

(51 Posts)
NoSmileToday Wed 25-Nov-15 07:24:39

Over a FB post?

NC as this is very identifiable.

My FIL died yesterday. He was a wonderful man.

His niece posted a picture on FB last night of FIL and in the same post their family dog. The heading was, the world lost two great hearts today joe blogs and Fido the dog.

AIBU to be upset the my FILs death is being put in the same context as the family dog ( not his dog it was his nieces dog)?

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 25-Nov-15 07:27:12

yabu I'm afraid.

but you are allowed to be given the circumstances.

his death is not made meaningless because she posted about her dog which im assuming she loved and misses.

so sorry for your loss flowers

KeepOnMoving1 Wed 25-Nov-15 07:27:55

Sorry about your Fil.
But yabu, it's her fb nothing to do with you. She suffered two losses and acknowledging them both, I can't see why it's an issue.

Enjolrass Wed 25-Nov-15 07:29:17

In the nicest way Yabu.

Some people find it devastating.

One loss probably made the other worse and vice verse.

Also she isn't saying that everyone should feel the same or that the dog is as important/more important. But she lost 2 big parts of her life yesterday.

It's understandable that you find this upsetting as you are grieving too.

But don't be too hard on her.

How old is she?

Baconyum Wed 25-Nov-15 07:31:13

Sorry but yes yabu pets are also extremely distressing to lose. Was he her grandfather?

goodnightdarthvader1 Wed 25-Nov-15 07:30:56

FFS. Another "animals aren't as important as people because I say so" thread.

You don't get to control her grief. She loved them both, she lost them both. It's nothing to do with you how she mourns the individuals in her life that she loved and lost. Get over yourself.

I'm sorry about your FIL but YABvvU.

NoSmileToday Wed 25-Nov-15 07:31:04

I think it is an issue for me because I don't put human life in the same context as an animal life.
I just thought he deserved a post of his own but I am willing to accept IABU.

Enjolrass Wed 25-Nov-15 07:35:39

A post of his own?

It's Facebook! Not a memorial.

Honestly just concentrate on your own family and supporting your OH

NoSmileToday Wed 25-Nov-15 07:36:16

FFS. Another "animals aren't as important as people because I say so" thread.

I never said that. I just didn't think this wonderful man should share the same post as a dog.

Cookingongas Wed 25-Nov-15 07:38:27

Yabu I'm afraid.

If she suggested a shared memorial , ywnbu, but on Facebook she can express her feelings as she sees fit. It's only Facebook.

I'm sorry for your loss x

NoSmileToday Wed 25-Nov-15 07:39:12

FB is a memorial to some.

I get IABU but some peoples replies are a little harsh. It is possible to say IABU without ffs and !!!.
I am probably too sensitive for this bored today but thank all who took the time to reply.

RJnomore1 Wed 25-Nov-15 07:39:54

No you are not being unreasonable to be upset. You are just bereaved and sometimes the upset comes out in a slightly displaced way. You would be unreasonable if it turned into a long term issue with the niece but right now you are allowed to feel exactly how you feel (but maybe not say anything to her, she is in the same position)

And anyone who says otherwise is completely lacking in empathy.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 25-Nov-15 07:39:58

some people really love their dogs. you dont get to decide who's more important to them or how emotionally attached they were to a pet who the spent every day with.

I was devestated when my beloved cat died .I'd not have taken kindly to someone deciding I should he more upset about something else.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 25-Nov-15 07:40:28

I would stop thinking about it and be witg your family flowers

ghnocci Wed 25-Nov-15 07:41:20

Yanbu and I don't see how anybody could possibly think otherwise. It was very trivialising of her.

Sorry for your loss.

NoSmileToday Wed 25-Nov-15 07:43:35

That's how it feels ghnocci.

PurpleDaisies Wed 25-Nov-15 07:45:35

Really sorry for your loss.

You're overthinking this-people don't usually split their news up into different posts based on importance. Your niece was grieving for both losses and probably never considered anyone would be offended by her putting both sad events in the same post. If she'd put something like she was sad for the loss of the fil and a goldfish that would be a bit different but people are really close to their dogs and it is a big deal when they die.

Samcro Wed 25-Nov-15 07:45:19

sorry for your loss.
but you can't dictate how someone else should feel.
her dog will have been very important to her and she is grieving too.

goodnightdarthvader1 Wed 25-Nov-15 07:45:49

It's not trivialising. Selfies at a funeral is trivialising. Now that's unreasonable.

NoSmileToday Wed 25-Nov-15 07:47:28

Do people actually take selfies at funerals?

Sirzy Wed 25-Nov-15 07:49:35

I can understand why but yes you are being unreasonable.

she can be upset about both losses, and how sad for her that both came on the same day.

MrsGentlyBenevolent Wed 25-Nov-15 07:50:05

YABU - you obviously don't 'get' it, but dogs can feel as much a part of a family as any other member. It's not like your niece only mentioned her dog. Poor girl has obviously had a very tough and upsetting day, she doesn't need judgments on what she posted on FB on top of it.

KeepOnMoving1 Wed 25-Nov-15 07:50:46

You are upset about something that's nothing to do with you. How she feels and what she posts on her fb is really up to her.

PurpleDaisies Wed 25-Nov-15 07:52:08

A very famous funeral selfie...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-25322260

AbbeyBartlet Wed 25-Nov-15 07:52:10

I'm sorry for your loss flowers

However YABU - he was her uncle, and she can post whatever she likes.

My aunt died several months ago and I didn't shed a single tear but I was devastated when my cat died. You can't control how you feel at a time like that.

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