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Is it reallly wrong to plan to have more children than bedrooms?

(208 Posts)
Difficultchoice Tue 24-Nov-15 10:18:38

i've seen this a lot on Mn recently and people seem to be really cross when children sharing rooms is mentioned. I would love another but all our rooms are taken....more concerned about my age, time and money tbh.

So does the available space form part of other people's decisions? How important is that aspect?

HoneyDragon Tue 24-Nov-15 10:20:48

Equally on Mumsnet it's considered bad to have more bedrooms than people. Depends which thread you read wink

KeepOnMoving1 Tue 24-Nov-15 10:20:40

I think sharing is fine, but it also depends how many children and how many bedrooms.

WorraLiberty Tue 24-Nov-15 10:22:02

I loved sharing a room with my sister, and my brothers loved sharing a room with each other (most of the time!) grin

I can see no reason why a child has to have their very own bedroom really.

GastonsChestHair Tue 24-Nov-15 10:22:42

Sharing is fine. Mine share. They are happy. We have 5 children and 4 bedrooms.

DawnOfTheDoggers Tue 24-Nov-15 10:23:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Keeptrudging Tue 24-Nov-15 10:23:34

This is only on MN. In the real word, plenty of children share bedrooms and survive the experience. I do think you have to maybe think ahead to how the room sharing can work/adapt as they get older as children's needs change. I think the older the child, the less play space they need, so youngest children should get the biggest room (their toys are bigger).

myotherusernameisbetter Tue 24-Nov-15 10:23:48

Age, time and money are far more relevant concerns. I think it might be less stressful if there are enough bedrooms for them not to share especially when they are teenagers, but I didn't have a bedroom to myself when I was growing up until I moved out. Didn't do me any harm smile

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou Tue 24-Nov-15 10:24:06

Well, given that they're likely to be living with you into their twenties, it does bear thinking about...

Plonkysaurus Tue 24-Nov-15 10:24:51

Oh dear, we have a 2.5 bed and have just had our second child. The .5 is too small to really be a bedroom, as its 6x6 feet, so once the baby is old enough our kids will share. Poor them, how will they ever get over it?

AndNowItsSeven Tue 24-Nov-15 10:24:35

It's fine to share, I think it's preferable. As long have dc have somewhere quiet to do their homework, that's all they need.

myotherusernameisbetter Tue 24-Nov-15 10:25:57

Oh, and despite having a 4 bed house, my 2 elected to share one room for 5 years between age 5 and 10.

HeadDreamer Tue 24-Nov-15 10:27:02

No of course it's not cruel. It's lifestyle choices.

Did you see the thread about the kids in Shetland who's the only child in primary? Some posters made the same type of comments.

For me, I wouldn't have more kids than bedrooms because I feel very strongly about them having their own space. Also I've always wanted only 2 so it's easy for me to say having enough bedrooms for all given that a standard family house is 3-bed! I also wanted foreign holidays and it's much easier to arrange for 2 kids because they can share the same hotel room.

But I would imagine it's much harder to have a room per child if you want 4 kids. It's not cruel as long as you have enough love and time for them, and also enough money to feed and clothe them.

Keeptrudging Tue 24-Nov-15 10:27:06

Older teenagers can generally manage with quite a small room. Totally stereotyping here, but most of their stuff tends to be small (hideously expensive) gadgets, and excess clothes could be stored in someone else's room.

firesidechat Tue 24-Nov-15 10:27:10

Isn't this a thread about a thread?

I had rooms for both my children, they chose to share for years. Sharing is fine, but just sometimes the ages and sex of the children make it problematic and not ideal. It also becomes more of a problem as they get older and need some privacy, which is when my decided to occupy their own rooms.

We had two children because once we had them our family felt complete. It had little or nothing to do with money or space.

HeadDreamer Tue 24-Nov-15 10:28:28

And no, not all want to share. My 4yo does not want to share once DD2 started being mobile. She was all excited about sharing when DD1 was born. Then she saw her sister pulling everything from her shelves and climbing onto her bed. She wanted a stair gate to her room!

Foreverconfused Tue 24-Nov-15 10:28:44

We have a 3 bedroom house and planning a third child next year. 2 bedrooms are considered small(ish) and the other is large. When the children are small 2 of them will be sharing depending on what sex we have (we have a boy and girl at the moment ). If when they're older they show signs if wanting their own space then we can create 2 rooms out of the large bedroom , and partner and I will have the smallest room.

Tuiles Tue 24-Nov-15 10:31:30

My kids share, despite the fact that we have 2 'spare' rooms. Their choice.

EnaSharplesHairnet Tue 24-Nov-15 10:36:04


Sharing has positives too.

AugustRose Tue 24-Nov-15 10:37:36

I think sharing is fine - I shared with my sister and most people I know had to share.

My kids have been lucky to have their own rooms but recently I moved DD2 into DS2's room as she needs to be nearer the bathroom and to help keep them warmer over winter, they love it and I wish I had done it from the start.

However it would depend on room sizes too, I once knew a family who lived in a 2 bed bungalow with 4 boys - the second bedroom had two sets of bunks and I did feel a bit sorry for them.

TheBitchOfDestiny Tue 24-Nov-15 10:39:03

no. I have 3, and only 3 bedrooms

my friend has 5, and only 3 bedrooms

Naicecuppatea Tue 24-Nov-15 10:39:37

I am torn on this, I think children need their own space. I think the decision to share should come from them rather than be out of necessity. I think the threads referred to are very obviously how parents have had far more children than they have the space or resources to cope with.

BarbarianMum Tue 24-Nov-15 10:40:22

It will work for some and not for others. Age and gender play a part too. My friend has a girl and a boy in a 2 bed flat. Girl decamped to the hallway age 14 (brother 18 months younger) and now sleeps in what is basically a cupboard. I think you'd be foolish not to even consider the possibility that they may not want to share indefinately.

dingit Tue 24-Nov-15 10:40:57

Oh dear. We have 4 beds, 2 dc.

We built a big loft conversion with en suite which we have, and the dc, boy and girl teens have a large double each. The small single is a study.

Maybe I should suggest a baby to dh grin

LuciaInFurs Tue 24-Nov-15 10:40:59

I lived in a two bed house with mum, dad, two sisters, brother and cousin. My cousin slept in the living room downstairs and my younger sister and I shared a bed bunk bed, my older sister slept on a mattress on the floor and my brother slept in a cot in our room. It was awful and I hated every minute of it.

There was no privacy or space, it was chaotic and the house was teeming with crap. This is just my opinion but I could not have more children than bedrooms. We are moving to a four bed in March and we picked a four bed so that we could have the two children (fingers crossed!) we wanted. It meant that we had to leave London to find a home we could afford, but this was non-negotiable for me.

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