To say something next time?

[BumWad]

26 week old DS (19 weeks corrected) is increasingly becoming challenging with his feeding - I'm pretty certain he's teething. Things like fighting the bottle, crying etc.

This morning I had a Consultant appointment for my very severe carpal tunnel syndrome - numbness, pain, can't do up buttons etc at the private hospital but as an NHS patient.

DS puked everywhere this morning (reflux), therefore had to feed him AGAIN so I was already rushing around like mad. Then my sat nav took my the wrong way. I eventually got to my appointment, however the car park was full so had to park on a side street and walk in.

Got to the desk and apologised for being late. My appointment was for 10:40, I got there at 10:53. Receptionist said she would have to double check with the Consultant to see if he would still see me. She came back and told me I had to re-book. Well that just set me off crying and I don't ever cry. I told her I was willing to wait and that I was really struggling with my hands and wrists, and that I had a bit of trouble with DS. She was sympathetic and said she'd ask again. The nurse went in but was told nope I would not be seen.

Now I know I was late. But 13 minutes? Do you think that was harsh? I was so very upset and now I am just furious. I am a health professional too and I would never ever turn away a patient like that. I doubt that he had even got to me on the list! Plus even if he had, he had somebody in with him so it's not like he waited for me? I waited 35 minutes the last time I went to see him - which I am not complaining about however puts it in perspective! The receptionist even said he gets like this sometimes about the consultant.

He was just being arsey wasn't he? The next appointment they have for me isn't till late December, so now I am going to have to struggle for another month with feeding DS (sometimes I can't even hold his bottle). I don't think the consultant would have behaved like this if we were in an NHS setting. Do you think he would have sent an elderly person away the same or though bah she's young and late she can fuck off?

So AIBU to say something the next time I see him? And if he makes me wait longer than a minute after my appointment time then that will get mentioned too. I won't be rude but will say that you refused to see me last time as I was 13 minutes late for my appointment and I am struggling terribly with my hands. Or do I just need to get over it?

My hands are numb from typing this post already 😥

[IcsiWitsyBabyPlsGetUpMySpout]

This pisses me off so fucking much, about the NHS more than private hospitals to be honest as I've experienced it with NHS more. No, you shouldn't have been late, but sometimes shit happens! I think less than 1 in 10 appointments I attend I am seen in time, so why the hell doctors/health professionals think their time is more valuable than anyone else's I don't know. I am perfectly willing to give them some leeway if they can do it the otgrr way round...everyone understands that emergencies happen/doctors get sick themselves etc, but it should work bith ways- we are all human. You should complain, regardless of whether it is policy or not. If it is 'policy', complain about the policy, point out the inequity in the relationship and don't back down.

[BumWad]

Thank you for replying Icsi.

You know I am even more upset than I thought. I have just rung the hospital to double check that my appointment time was 10:40 and not 9:40 as I did start doubting myself and the kind receptionist confirmed it was. She said I should put my complaint in writing, in fact she was telling me to - I'm thinking this Consultant has form for it.

You are right shit happens. I am not consistently late - I really made the effort today but he was just being bloody minded about it. Like how dare I turn up late. The thing is he is the hand/wrist specialist and if I start complaining now what will that mean for me in the future? I am likely to need surgery.

[BumWad]

Yes I thought that Gloria, but he had somebody in already when I got there. Either the patient before me on the list or after. I was 13 minutes late so he wasn't really 'wasting' any time waiting IYSWIM?

[Threesquids]

Did you call to say you were going to be late?

My GP is a nightmare, I sat there for on average 45 mins after my appointment time to be seen.

Sounds to me like he was being shitty because you are an NHS patient.

You can still complain - I would have thought 20 mins late would have been reasonable to not see you, but 13 is OTT.

I bet he has a fair few very rich patients who are very late!

I have private healthcare, recently I had an operation (well 2 years ago) and was listening to a conversation with another patient.

Very wealthy lady, who despite being told 'nil by mouth' decided to have a cup of tea, an hour before surgery! She scoffed and moaned and still got her own way. If it was NHS, no doubt she would have been told to naff off.

[mommy2ash]

I understand you are struggling but I don't think the consultant is wrong. My dd has hospital appointments and on every letter they remind you to be on time. If everyone was 13 minutes late the appointment system wouldn't work. When you weren't there he obviously moved on with his list.

With you showing up late he could have either seen you but rushed your appointment which isn't ideal or gave you a full appointment and had a knock on effect of making everyone else's appointments late

[SauvignonBlanche]

I'm sure he'd have seen you if you were a PP.

[Silvergran68]

I was very nearly late at my last hospital appointment and asked how long they accepted late arrivals before needing to rebook. Apparently for that clinic it's half an hour (NHS). Obviously then it depends on the consultants.

[MagpieCursedTea]

Something similar happened to me at the dentist when DS was 12 weeks old. I was 9 minutes late (and 5 of those were spent in a queue at reception whilst the receptionist chatted to someone about her daughter's gap year ). I complained by email afterwards and got one of those generic "we're sorry you're upset about the situation but it is our policy..." responses. Very frustrating!

Might be worth complaining to them and seeing if they could get you in earlier. Hope things get better for you soon!

[MetallicBeige]

NHS appointment slots are very often double booked to accommodate for the people who do not attend. 2 people booked into one ten minute slot. That's why clinics frequently overrun.

I do feel for you op, you sound like you've had a hell of a morning. He could have been an arse. He could also have been thinking - if I see her now everybody else will be even more delayed. Appointment slots are tight, there's no leeway. (At least in the v busy department I managed).

[Witchend]

They may have had someone waiting to be squeezed in if there's time. Because you weren't there he fitted them in then.
Or if the next appointment was 10minutes after yours so the next was in, or even if it was 20minutes late, they had just gone in as they'd arrived early, so he's a few minutes early but not a full appointment.

[ShmooBooMoo]

Odd, since the chances are you'd have been sitting there at least 13 minutes to be seen (often a lot longer!)

[Threesquids]

I guess he could have had surgery booked for the afternoon which would have meant theatre time etc, but even so, 13 mins is very harsh.

[ButterflyUpSoHigh]

Yabu you were late they would never get home if they let every latecomer be seen.

[RaptorInaPorkPieHat]

YAB a little U (but only a little because I've never managed to see a consultant on time)

I would be tempted to go back to your GP and see if they can push for an earlier appointment as you're struggling with it.

[PurpleDaisies]

I suspect this is hospital policy rather than the individual consultant being arsey. My GP surgery is like this too-you won't be seen if you're more that ten minutes late but if you phone and say you're stuck in traffic (or in other circumstances beyond your control) they will let you off. I think that's pretty reasonable. There's a huge problem with people not turning up for appointments or arriving late across the whole NHS.

I can totally understand why you were upset but I'm not sure the consultant was out of order not to see you. I hope you feel better soon.

[CrohnicallyAspie]

I think I've been late a couple of times- one GP and one hospital appointment. Both times I phoned and explained I was on my way. The GP said as the next patient was there already, they would be seen first and if I was there by the time next patient had finished I could be seen then (effectively swapping appointments). The hospital were running behind so said so long as there by the time they got to my turn I could be seen.

So really, you should have phoned ahead (even if that meant pulling over to use your phone) then they might have been more inclined to help.

[OhMakeMeOver]

If there was already someone else in there, maybe the person after you, all he had to do was switch you around with the person after you - no time wasted. It's not that hard! It wouldn't delay anyone else at all; there would still be 2 people in front of them.

Sounds like a dick, especially private. Complain as if you actually cared about what you do for a living, then you wouldn't send a patient home that needs help after a petty 13 minutes!

But then again I was late to an appt once at the GP, they give you 15mins to be there anyway by telling you an earlier time and I was, the appt was rushed, she didn't listen and she gave me no help whatsoever. She was a dick, too, though.

[Hotbot]

Late impacts on all the other patients waiting . If everyone was late even by 13 mins someone at the end of the day would be very late going in, staff would end up staying late also. Whilst I sympathise with your stressful start you are in the wrong,surely as a health professional you understand this too.aslo for all the snarky comments regarding private patients they are paying a hell of a lot to get things done their way for their convenience .

[blobbityblob]

I've worked with private drs in the past. It might be that only 20 mins was allocated for the appointment and they can't possibly get through everything in 7 minutes. People argue about paying if they don't feel their issues have been addressed.

Also the clinics we used shut promptly at 5pm. So we couldn't go over. If he'd fitted you in it would have meant the person last in the day being very short changed because of your lateness.

So ours would have waited maybe 10 minutes. If you'd not come by then and the next person was there, they'd see them instead. If you had come then they'd have told you sorry - not enough time now, come back another time.

Just logistics really. It depends on what else they've got on that day and how long the building is open. If they've got a full clinic and the doors close at 5pm, they can't do it.

[CFSsucks]

I'm a stickler for punctuality but he was being an absolute arsehole. I don't think I have ever had a hospital appointment and actually gone in on time. He just wanted to make a point.

Complain, particularly how late he was running that last time you went to see him.

[BumWad]

I didn't ring to tell them I was going to be late as even with DS puking I almost made it on time. I think the lack of parking space in the hospital car park which I drove round and then having to park on a side street made me late.

I still think he was being an arse. But then am I going to complain about me being late? I can just see a standard response coming my way like another poster mentioned.

I think I am going to tell him to his face the next time I see him. Make a point about his lack of compassion.

I'm just going to have to suck up the wait time.