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AIBU?

To beg DP to rehome his bird before I totally lose it

86 replies

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 12:20

It's a cockatiel. DP has had it since he was a teenager. I have two other parrots - this would be his argument to keep it. But it's driving me up the bloody wall with its constant shouting. It never shuts up and I feel like I'm going crazy. If he paid it any attention ever (which he doesn't) or looked after it (I do) then that would be one thing. But I'm expected to be at home with it day in day out listening to its incessant whingy squawking while he's at work. I'm not cruel - if I was it wouldn't be alive - but I swear to God it's so tempting to open the door and let it out. I've tried asking nicely. I've tried losing my temper. So wwyd? Is begging too much? Someone please save me!

OP posts:

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MaidOfStars · 23/11/2015 12:31

Are your parrots silent?

LifeIsChaos · 23/11/2015 12:34

Can you let it out of its cage for exercise and play with him for a bit then put it back in and cover with a dark blanket. That used to shut my budgie up.

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 12:36

One of them is mostly silent all day with an occasional quiet whistle. The other makes noise for maybe 15-20 minutes a day. They don't constantly make an absolute racket which is a relief. I wouldn't have them if they did.

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BestZebbie · 23/11/2015 12:37

Can you cover the top half of the cage for a few hours each afternoon to get yourself a break? Let it out to ride around on your shoulder until it gets tired out (and straight back in the cage if it screams next to your ear!), if it is that kind of bird?

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 12:39

LikesChaos it isn't hand tame so is a nightmare to get out and in. It has a huge cage, tons of toys. I've tried to tame it for years (have been with DP for almost 10 years). Covering it just makes it shout louder.

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LifeIsChaos · 23/11/2015 12:41

sounds like a right pain. Perhaps it's bored. Get some new toys for it and rotate them like you would do for a toddler and bribe it with tasty snacks?

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 12:43

I do all of this. It had new toys a few weeks ago. I rotate three times a week as I do with the other two. It's so frustrating!

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TheNoodlesIncident · 23/11/2015 12:45

My housemate had two cockatiels. One learned to mimic the USA style phone ring, and started up whenever it heard that on TV. Which was often.

Sometimes it did the inane trilling when it merely decided to, on its own feather brained whim.

You have my sympathy.

LaurieFairyCake · 23/11/2015 12:46

Some birds bond right? So is he bonded to you or dh or neither?

timelytess · 23/11/2015 12:48

One got loose near where I lived - its mournful cries could be heard for half a mile. I sympathise. Could you put it in the garage with some soundproofing?

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 12:52

Sadly we don't have a garage. We had a shed but it's full and DP would throw a fit if I even contemplated putting it in there. Also think it's a bit cold out and as I said before, I'm not cruel (as tempting as it might be).

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Chala86 · 23/11/2015 12:54

It tries to bond with one of my cockatoos (the mostly silent one) but she's a mile from interested and ignores it. The cockatiel doesn't like people and hisses at anyone that comes too close to its cage.

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timelytess · 23/11/2015 12:54

Earplugs. For you.

whois · 23/11/2015 12:59

Maybe you got distracted when you were rotating the toys and didn't close the door properly...?

SSargassoSea · 23/11/2015 13:03

IT's cruel to shut it away from everyone, I would speak to some expert (there must be one somewhere) and ask why is it doing this, maybe it is seeking attention, maybe it fancies one of your birds and is trying to impress it, maybe it needs tranquillisers - speak to expert and vet. If no solution rehome it someone deaf might like it!

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 13:05

whois - I think DP would be very angry and upset though. I've tried earplugs but cockatiel noise seems to break it's way through. I had beats headphones on earlier , music up loud enough to burst eardrums and can still hear it.

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SoWhite · 23/11/2015 13:05

Forgive my complete lack on knowledge on bird life expectancy, but if DH has had it since he was a teenager, won't it die soon? Can you not hang on?

LetThereBeCupcakes · 23/11/2015 13:11

I have cockatiels in an outdoor aviary. They aren't overly noisy as they have plenty of company. But if something upsets them they make a right racket. They don't do well alone in cages IMHO. He's probably quite stressed. A second cockatiel might make him happier and quieter but you then run the risk of having 2 noisy birds.

They live a long time, 25 years plus is not unheard of.

I would ride it out til spring and then see if anybody with an outdoor aviary could take it. Your DH might be more willing if he knows it's going to a good home.

Chala86 · 23/11/2015 13:11

It must be about 14. Could be waiting another 10 years if it lives as long as his parents cockatiel which is 25 and still going strong.

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BestZebbie · 23/11/2015 13:14

OOI, does it make the same noise at weekends when your DP is there? Otherwise, I'd be tempted to tape it all day and ask him to listen to the tape over the course of a workday if he is convinced that it is liveable with/not that bad?

tbtc20 · 23/11/2015 13:15

Crikey, don't your neighbours hear it?

One of our neighbours has some sort of exotic bird and in the summer he sits it out in its cage. It's not particularly annoying but you can hear it from quite a distance. It would drive me demented if I had to listen to it all day.

What does your DP say when you tell him how annoying it is? He just expects you to put up with it?

TurnWifiOn · 23/11/2015 13:20

Unless I was allergic or we couldn't afford the care I wouldn't ever expect anyone to get rid of a pet that they have had for years because it annoyed me.

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Chala86 · 23/11/2015 13:25

DP doesn't seem to hear it. When he does it doesn't bother him. But everyone that comes here gets fed up listening to it. We know someone that offered to take it. They have an aviary with cockatiels. DP isn't keen. Yes very attached even though he spends no time with it, does nothing for it and doesn't even pay for its food or toys. I agree it's probably lonely and stressed but I refuse to take another purely because I don't want to risk further noise, more expense and yet another animal for me to take care of. I will try having another adult conversation with DP about rehoming it next year. It's just gotten to the point where I'm so frustrated with its noise and DP's apparent deafness and total refusal to even discuss an alternative that I end up losing my temper.

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TheBunnyOfDoom · 23/11/2015 13:25

Sounds like he's lonely, tbh. Could you get him a mate?

GruntledOne · 23/11/2015 13:25

If your DH isn't looking after it then absolutely it should be rehomed. Tell him those are the two choices open to him, otherwise it gets rehomed anyway.

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