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To think that I must be the only mum in the country who's never had a night off?

(256 Posts)
VondaRedbush Sat 21-Nov-15 18:28:07

DS is 2.4 and I've not had a night out/off since he was born. I recently had a milestone birthday and was only able to go out for lunch with DH. Everyone else I know of has, for their birthdays, been out for meals/drinking or gone on whole weekends away.

(The reason I've not had a night/evening off is that I'm the only one who can get DS to bed - he's still breastfed AND we co sleep. I'm becoming more and more fed up with it but can't see a way out. )

So, am I really the only mum to never ever get an evening off??? I'm starting to feel so isolated and socially inept sad.

UnlikelyPilgramage Sat 21-Nov-15 18:30:15

Well, there's a fairly obvious solution wink

Imknackeredzzz Sat 21-Nov-15 18:31:57

Oh for goodness sake wean him off the breast! He's 2 and a half! There's no need for you to live like this !

gingerdad Sat 21-Nov-15 18:32:01

And sounds like it'll be years before you do as well.

SoDiana Sat 21-Nov-15 18:32:28

Why subject yourself to this?
You are somebody's child too.

Savagebeauty Sat 21-Nov-15 18:32:35

Yes..stop breast feeding and co sleeping!!

seasidesally Sat 21-Nov-15 18:33:41

well you have kind of made a rod for your own back by being the only one to get him to sleep

if you want a social life or just a life you really are going to have to bite the bullet and change your sons routine

i dont think its healthy for you or your dc to be do dependent

what would happen if you couldnt be there to put him to bed etc

Supermanspants Sat 21-Nov-15 18:34:25

Stop BF and co sleeping then. Problem solved. Talk about making rod for you own back.

ilovehotsauce Sat 21-Nov-15 18:34:47

No me too despite all our family living in the same city/next city over. No special reason except no ones offered/said yes when asked. Currently 35weeks pregnant with dd2 I won't be holding my breathe.

wine

SolsburyHell Sat 21-Nov-15 18:34:56

Just go out and leave him with your Dh/parents etc, he'll go to sleep.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sat 21-Nov-15 18:35:15

Stop breast feeding
Stop co-sleeping
Stop moaning.

You make your bed, you lie in it with DS

Oysterbabe Sat 21-Nov-15 18:35:40

You can't really complain about it when it's a situation you've created.

MatildaTheCat Sat 21-Nov-15 18:36:23

There is a way out. You believe nobody else can settle your ds and it probably is true that he settles more easily for you because it's an ingrained habit. I'd really urge you to make changes very soon. Not having any nights off is miserable.

Let your dh do some bedtimes.

dalmatianmad Sat 21-Nov-15 18:36:41

At nearly 3 he doesn't need to be breastfed, he will get his nutrition from food!

Why are you co sleeping?

Without sounding unkind , you only have yourself to blame for not having a break!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sat 21-Nov-15 18:37:12

I think you KNOW what the solution is and this is why it's all the more frustrating as you have created it!

seasidesally Sat 21-Nov-15 18:37:01

your dc needs his own bed and room

so glad i never co sleeped

Flashbangandgone Sat 21-Nov-15 18:37:47

You're the only one because you're still breast feeding and co-sleeping at 2 and a half... I think you know the solution... Is there any particular reason why you're still doing this other than it's a habit you've just not broken?

Awoof Sat 21-Nov-15 18:38:50

Is there a reason why you are still breastfeeding?
I'm sure he would be fine for a night if you went to the cinema or for a dinner with friends.
I'm spectacularly bad at leaving my dc. I've had one night out in 3 1/2 years and went to a conference over the weekend 2 years ago, but then I love being at home and having netflix and m and s ready meal with dh.

Twindroops Sat 21-Nov-15 18:38:33

My eldest was about 3 when I had my first night off, but that was because he is profoundly disabled and all my friends and family at the time were scared of him.

YANBU to want a night off and feel like everyone else is, I completely get that, but it seems this is because of a situation you have created? Get him off the boob and out of your bed and bingo, you can have a night off, problem solved.

queenofthepirates Sat 21-Nov-15 18:39:05

No you'll find an army of unsupported single parents out there, coping alone and without a partner. I think you're being a little bit of a drama llama.

mamapants Sat 21-Nov-15 18:39:48

When mine were younger and needed to bf to go to sleep I'd sometimes go out for a meal after putting them down for the night. Can you do that?
Me and do rarely go out together but have the option of going separately.

Flashbangandgone Sat 21-Nov-15 18:40:17

ilovehotsauce

That sounds rough :-(. Why don't they say 'yes' once in a while... Seems very mean.

DawnOfTheDoggers Sat 21-Nov-15 18:41:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dixiechickonhols Sat 21-Nov-15 18:41:22

For both your sakes it would be worth getting him to settle for your dh. Ds would have to if you were in hospital or working away.

WheresMyBurrito Sat 21-Nov-15 18:41:42

I'm a big believer in breastfeeding for as long as the child wants, as long as it is something you want to do.

It doesn't sound like it is something you want to do any more, so why not consider weaning him off the breast?

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