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To completely brush off friends bragging about how much she has spent on Xmas especially since she's possibly committing fraud

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SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:36:18

Top and bottom basically one of my friends (so called) who I believe to be committing benefit fraud will not stop boasting about how much money she has spent on Christmas. She has four children, she is supposedly a "struggling" single parent but nothing could be further from the truth. I found out recently (through a mutual friend) that she made her partner move in with his brother so that she could claim benefits as a single parent. Her partner has a full time job but she is greedy mare and all she thinks and talks about is money so nothing surprises me with her.

I myself am married with two children, and combined me and dh being home a decent income, nothing lavish but we live a decent life and can afford treats, holidays etc. Despite not struggling to often financially we set a budget for both our children each Christmas and we try and stick to it, they get a number of well thought out gifts that we know they will enjoy. I told my friend what I had bought my children (after she had ryhmed off each and every gift she had bought her children and the cost of all of them!) and she was literally gobsmacked and told me that their gifts sounded nice but she couldn't ever imagine spending so little! Now I've spent around £350 per child which I think is fine, but she has spent £900 per child, and whilst usually I wouldn't care what others spend (not in the slightest) she is committing fraud and she dares try and shame me! Aibu to want to end the friendship and give her a good hard slap in the face (or maybe just a cold harsh dose of reality lol)

ditavonteesed Fri 20-Nov-15 18:39:48

what the actual fuck do you buy kids for £900 or £350 fir that matter, we spend £50 per child which is more than enough what an absolute waste fraud or not.

Oysterbabe Fri 20-Nov-15 18:40:23

Just don't worry about it. I personally couldn't give a fuck what anyone else does, why do you care?
BTW IMO £350 is also way too much.

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:44:02

Well my eldest who is 14 asked for an x box one (he asked for one last year but they were new out and cost £500!) that was £299 and he's got an aftershave set. My 10 year old asked for a Nintendo which was £270 and then a few small gifts, so they haven't got lots of gifts that won't get played with.

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:44:48

And I'm sorry but £50 will buy bigger all these days, especially for teenagers, sorry but it won't.

PetronellaOsgood Fri 20-Nov-15 18:44:53

She's probably bought them a goat and a flat screen TV each. Is it benefits bash Christmas edition already?

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:45:23

Bugger all that obviously meant to say.

DonkeyOaty Fri 20-Nov-15 18:45:48

Just let the friendship wither.

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:47:03

What is it about this forum and he constant mention of goats? Seriously, it's not a benefits bashing thread, I'm not that small minded to think that everyone who claims benefits does so because they can't be arsed to get off their bums and work! In this particular case a grind of mine is genuinely taking the poss and I'm not happy about it, so don't try and tar me with the benefits bashing brush please.

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:48:12

Please excuse the typos, I've recently got a new phone and the keys are much closer together than they are on my older one.

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 20-Nov-15 18:49:24

Well nothing wrong with more exo esuve quality gifts. what you have sounds fine and yes it's expensive but better spent that. 20 quid on plastic tat.

you can afford it so competitive frugalness is pointless.

I would be a bit shock at 900 quid as I can't imagine Wtf, unless they decorated a bedroom.or bought a needed state of the art lap top fir college, they could spend it on.

however again not a.probl.of sue cab afford it. nut if she's one of these idiots getting herself into debt just to outdoor everyone at xmas she's a fool with or without potential fraud.

be sure of your facts though before you report anytbing

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 20-Nov-15 18:50:09

Ffs typos

PetronellaOsgood Fri 20-Nov-15 18:51:11

So why mention benefits then? You could have just said friend is boasting about spending £900 on kids, I've spend £350 and it's making me cross?

BlueJug Fri 20-Nov-15 18:51:15

Why did you even have this conversation? Why are you posting? Who cares how much anybody else spends?

Why don't you tell us all how much your food bill is? Or your spending on "educational" trips for the kids - and we can all judge. It doesn't matter.

This sort of competitive talk is depressing and makes everyone feel dissatisfied.

Jhm9rhs Fri 20-Nov-15 18:52:02

I think £350 is excessive...I expect I'm in for a rude awakening when my children hit the teenage years, aren't I?

coffeeisnectar Fri 20-Nov-15 18:52:38

I've spent quite a lot this year but most years I budget around £150 each. I got some money I wasn't expecting so my two have a laptop each (age 17 and 10) dsd (19) has cash towards driving lessons and dsd (12) has a 3 ds and games which she asked for. They all have other things too costing much less but it's a one off and they all know that.

£900 is insane if it's every year. I can't imagine what you would buy?

Your spending is quite high but imagine next year there will be little in the way of big budget gifts but rather games for the consoles etc. it sounds like a one off big spend rather than you buying tons of stuff for the sake of it.

Please tell us what she's bought. A shed? For storage?

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:56:37

I mentioned the benefits because she is commuting fraud and for her to then to belittle me for spending "so little"on my own children, well it kind of hit a nerve. If she had worked for her money or she was filthy rich etc I wouldn't give two hoots what she had spent and wouldn't feel belittled at all but for her to be blatantly scamming the system and then rubbing her fabulous Christmas in my face well it's uncalled for surely?.....

Oysterbabe Fri 20-Nov-15 18:58:28

Well you just belittled someone for spending £50 so maybe you're as bad as each other.

elf2 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:59:25

WOW @£900/child!
I can understand how you can get up to £350 when they are tweens/teens though. I spend up to that on DS now (if he wants a pricey gadget) but would only spend £75 on him when he was younger.
I would say it was more boastful if she was gloating about how much she was managing to save for her children's future than excessive Christmas spending - that just makes her sound a bit daft.
I would drift away from her if things like this are making you so annoyed.

Gatehouse77 Fri 20-Nov-15 18:59:48

Our budget is circa £50 per child + stocking. Mine are all teenagers.
When No.1 wanted an XBox we gave him money towards it for Christmas/birthday, as did others, until he had saved enough.

No way would they be getting it from just us - combination of what we can afford and how we choose to teach them the value of money and saving for what you want.

No smugness, no patronising, just the way we have chosen.
Same as you and your friend have different ways. Whether you choose to maintain the friendship depends on how you value it. I have friends who do some things completely differently to me, particularly with parenting choices, but that' snot the basis of our friendship. We agree to disagree.

However, the benefit fraud would be a deal breaker for me...

Senpai Fri 20-Nov-15 19:00:53

900! shock

Wow. What did she get them?

Mine is a toddler so 150-200 is a good amount for one big gift, clothes, something she needs, something to read, and a few stocking stuffers. I've also been collecting bits and pieces for her and stocking stuffers for DH since September.

If you can afford it, and you enjoy spending that amount, I don't see the big deal.

I just can't fathom what she would get for 900 though, unless they're teenagers and need a new computer.

molyholy Fri 20-Nov-15 19:01:45

Why are you arsed? I can't believe you were discussing personal finances with someone you don't even like. Bizarre.

SuzCorrigan1 Fri 20-Nov-15 19:03:15

Coffee, you have it right there, this year the kids wanted something specific, me and their dad knew that they would look after their consoles and considering they've been so well behaved and they've never had major consoles before (no Xbox, ps4 etc) we thought they deserved it.

My friend however is just spend spend spend on her kids, her oldest is only 8 years old and she's bought her an I phone 6, and x box one, a tablet and other stuff. She's bought her 7 year old son an i phone 5, a tablet, ps4, her youngest two girls who are only 5 and 4 she's bought silver cross classic prams (the ones that are like £400/£500, as well as smart tv's, tablets etc.

Awoof Fri 20-Nov-15 19:04:08

It doesn't sound like she necessarily is committing benefit fraud, if her partner doesn't live with her.
And tbh I can't compute how she is spending that much, unless they are all getting fortnum and mason hampers and gucci handbags, soo she is probably just fibbing.

SaucyJack Fri 20-Nov-15 19:04:15

If her partner really does live with his brother, then she isn't committing benefit fraud.

Simple as.

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