Hi, first time on here so please excuse if I don't use correct abbreviations. I will try to keep this as brief as possible......
With DP for 15 years. He has 2 sisters, younger one widowed, eldest married. Both sisters heavily involved with Scientology until approx. 4 years ago when younger sister managed to disentangle herself. She has always been a victim, was widowed at a young age and has never found it easy coping with real life. Eldest sister very heavily involved with Scientology for 20+ years and until March 2014 lived with her complete Scientology nutter husband in Dubai, living the dream apparently. Eldest sister came back to UK in March 2014 because of her terrible health problems (bad back) which she couldn't get resolved in Dubai and she has been living with younger sister since then. It actually turns out that they haven't got a pot to piss in as they've given it all away to Scientology.
My partner and I have had little contact over the years with eldest sister because of her Scientology involvement - her nutty husband and Scientology mates were always more important than her family. My partners mum has no time for her.
At the end of November last year 2014 my DP was diagnosed with lung cancer. He is 52. The first we knew was that he had a brain tumor which had spread from his lung. He had brain surgery to remove the tumor on 1 December, then between January and July this year he had radiotherapy on his brain then chemo . All was positive at first, the tumors were stable or reducing. In July he was scanned and scans showed growth in all tumors and spread to adrenal glands.
All though this period there was minimal contact with youngest sister, she simply could not cope with his diagnosis and seems to have had some sort of breakdown. There has been no contact from eldest sister apart from a couple of phone calls.
In August and September DP jumped through all the necessary hoops to get onto a clinical trial. He had one treatment under the trial then got a bad chest infection and was hospitalised. He was scanned again and scans showed further spread to spine, ribs and liver. Cancer is also now pressing on his laryngeal nerve which has reduced his voice to a whispery growl. Two weeks ago Oncologists said DP not well enough and spread of cancer too great to continue trial so no further treatment is available and DP now classed as terminal and has been referred to a hospice for community care.
All of a sudden, eldest sister wants to know what's going on and wants to visit him. We received a letter from her 2 days ago saying that she hadn't been in touch because she's been told to leave it until DP was ready to be in touch (not true) and she is 'very proud' of the way I've been coping with everything. If she had said that to me in person I would have punched her effin face! I was furious and phoned her, really lost my temper and a few home truths came out. DP then spoke to her as best he could, she was shocked that his voice was so weak. Eventually she started crying, I think the penny has finally dropped.
DP's mum (who we see and have regular contact with, no problem there) is coming to visit next week with youngers sister. Eldest sister wants to come too but she is not welcome by either DP or myself.
What I wanted advice on please is how do I deal with this from now on... even if DP and I have no contact with her no doubt she will insist on turning up at his funeral (we have to face facts :-( )and I don't want any scenes there.
Thank you, sorry this ended up being so long!
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... Sister in law. Help please.
32 replies
Retsina · 20/11/2015 11:10
OP posts:
itsmine ·
20/11/2015 11:41
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itsmine ·
20/11/2015 11:56
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