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AIBU to still get so worked up over this?

(3 Posts)
GlitteryRollers Thu 19-Nov-15 21:49:13

I probably am actually but really I just need to vent!

Just over a year ago I had an issue with a male colleague being really nasty towards me. It was as far as I could see, for no apparent reason. He was quite a big bloke and as well as being verbally nasty (shouting in a rage in my face because I challenged him on something) was quite physically intimidating towards me. I did report him and he got reprimanded and was actually sort of nice to me for a bit but then it happened again.

This stuff was always done when no one else around and he was also very popular with other membersh of staff, so it felt as though no one else believed me. Somehow everyone knew, and suddenly colleagues who I'd previously got along fine with started being funny with me. Apparently this was because I was trying to get him sacked (his words), but really I just wanted to left him alone and not be intimidated at work. I felt so unsupported that I left.

Fast forward to now, I have a different job and it's through this that my path has crossed with this arsehole once again. Thankfully it's only briefly, but he is still in the same job prancing about all charm personified, Mr Nice Guy laughing and joking with people. Everyones mate. It's all for show, I feel like I saw the real him and it's horribly unpleasant. I doubt I'm the only one who's seen that side to him either, but I was made to feel like a liar and had to leave my job because of it. I liked that job and was good at it, but he's got away scott free and wasn't even punished.

I know I shouldn't bother me, but it does. It's not fair is it?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 19-Nov-15 21:56:03

Why shouldn't it bother you. It would bother me. Let me tell you.
He was a fucking big bully. Picking on a women. He cost you your job. When he should have been sacked. Yes I know you have another job but that's not the point.. I think HR should have been picked up on their safe guarding well being and extreme lack of duty of care.
Even in the adult world people can conmit suicide over bullying.
How long is he going to get away with it for.
I thought bullying was a sackable offence, well it would be in my place

GlitteryRollers Thu 19-Nov-15 22:05:07

It's a small local firm. There is no real HR or safeguarding policy in place there. I reported him to the manager who was shocked because this man was so well liked, but admitted that I'd never had any problems with anyone else there and reprimanded him. He was nice to me for a while after that, but it was that awful fake niceness and you could tell he was doing he was doing it through gritted teeth.

Apparently the reason he was so nasty was because I was so negative, but I suspect it was really because I'm a woman who didn't just lie down and do as he said.

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