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To want a career as well?

(22 Posts)
lexigrey Thu 19-Nov-15 19:40:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WildStallions Thu 19-Nov-15 19:42:34

Take the job!

A good job is very important - and not remotely selfish.

Believeitornot Thu 19-Nov-15 19:42:49

What's your family's problem exactly?

mellowyellow1 Thu 19-Nov-15 19:43:27

Take the job! It has absolutely nothing to with them! Would you tell them how to live their lives? No!

Duckdeamon Thu 19-Nov-15 19:43:56

Your family's opinion doesn't matter!

wickedwaterwitch Thu 19-Nov-15 19:44:23

Ignore them, go for it

sparechange Thu 19-Nov-15 19:45:53

Take the job!
And then in a few years, when you are earning more more and loving your new job, ask the most critical family member to babysit so you can have a lovely day out shopping/at a spa/doing whatever floats your boat, and you'll enjoy it all the more wink

StayWithMe Thu 19-Nov-15 19:47:10

If you were his father, they would be impressed that you were willing to take a pay cut to further your career. angry Go for it OP. They'll have to find something else to complain about when you prove them wrong.

TeddTess Thu 19-Nov-15 19:53:06

it's none of their business.

if it works for you, ds and dp then go for it.

PastaPrincess Thu 19-Nov-15 19:54:57

Take the job! You'll resent your current job even more if you don't.

Want2bSupermum Thu 19-Nov-15 19:56:17

I don't think there is anything wrong with you accepting the job at all. I do think you should have pushed darn hard for your pay to be at least the same as your current job. You are thinking of your DS when you accept a job with a career path.

While you have accepted the job I would go back and tell them your current employer has countered with an increase in salary that means a GBP5k salary difference which is too big for you to ignore. Tell them that they need to match your old salary plus you want to make it known now that you want to build your career with them so in another year you are making more than you would be in your current role.

Having this conversation now will make it easier to have further conversations about salary. Im a hard nose when it comes to salary negotiations and will always ask for more. Im on a fixed salary but we get discretionary bonuses. I always get the maximum I can get bonus wise and have been averaging about 12% FT salary for the past 2 years now. The range in my peer group is 0-15%. I am on an 80% schedule so my 12% is more like 15%. I also then get awards because I ask for them. I just got $200 for sharing my holiday plans and another $100 for my contribution to the multicultural event I participated in (I made Danish meatballs but modified them so they were kosher instead of making with pork as one person on my team is orthodox Jewish). At this point they know to give it to me if they want me to be happy. Oh and I got an ipad last year. The head of my group joked afterwards that I should use it for kids when I am on conference calls. He said he had loaded Frozen on it for DD! (She sang Frozen songs in the background of a few calls and was so loud even when I sat in the basement they could still hear her)

lexigrey Thu 19-Nov-15 20:15:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeoGratias Thu 19-Nov-15 20:45:14

Take job. I pursued a career in my 20s whilst working full time and it has really paid off. The children hugely appreciate it whereas they don't appreciate later the fact you changed 20 of their nappies a day not 3.

It is those of us who accept "jam tomorrow" (lower pay today for higher pay tomorrow), the toddler who takes one raisin now or 2 later etc etc who do very well in life and whose children benefit.

Lightbulbon Thu 19-Nov-15 20:48:42

Take the job!

EastMidsMummy Thu 19-Nov-15 22:57:11

Jesus, Want2besupermum, you sound like hard work.

Steamedcharsiubun Fri 20-Nov-15 01:15:12

I took a 4K pay cut but it was in about 1990 so a considerable amount then, no regrets at all. Due to that big change after 5 years I then moved to another city for the next step up and it was there I met my now DH.

Want2bSupermum Fri 20-Nov-15 01:31:39

Deo Fair enough but just be very clear that is your expectation. I have seen it happen too many times where they do a switch and bait.

East The thing is that asking for these things results in me getting them. If I didn't ask I wouldn't get them. grin

Want2bSupermum Fri 20-Nov-15 01:32:04

doh - a bait and switch!!!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Fri 20-Nov-15 01:40:57

No ynbu. How can it be unreasonable to have drive ambition and determination. However do I dare say. I think by the same token you're being a bit of a snob, turning down a job. A job's a job Lexi. There's no shame what so ever in earning an honest living, no matter what you work as

howtorebuild Fri 20-Nov-15 02:31:55

What has it to do with wider family? I would avoid discussing your income in future. Enjoy your new career.

DeoGratias Fri 20-Nov-15 06:41:36

You mean people offered lower pay on the promise of a great career? I was more thinking a cleaner going into law taking a pay cut for a few years because she wants to be on £300k a year in due course.... if we're talking a less radical change then yes be careful.

I also don't like women to be seduced by short hours. It usually means low pay and status and your husband then regards you as chief cook and bottle washer at home - lose lose all round for the woman anyway.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Fri 20-Nov-15 07:07:24

Not often we see total agreement on MN...
I think there may be a message here ... something like...

Seize the day.

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