Is my husband BU (say yes....say yes)

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

For being pissed off with me for wanting things to be in the appropriate places? He says im getting on his nerves for 'nagging' about the collection of toiletries by the side of the settee on a ledge and the clothes that have been hanging on the curtain rail in the living room since god knows when. Apparently im hormonal and nagging.
Grr.

[GabiSolis]

How many times have you nagged about it? Difficult to say if YABU or not.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

About 7 times

[soupmaker]

He is BU. Why can't he just put stuff away where it ought to be. I am by no means the most tidy but I can't stand DH or the kids just leaving a trail of stuff at their tail because they are too lazy to put stuff away.

[ChesterFuckingDraws]

He is BU I'd have chucked the stuff out by now. In our house I ask for something to be done twice and if it's not I either do it myself (DIY things) or I chuck it out.

[goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal]

No, YANBU, this is something my DH does (very rarely though) which really annoys me sometimes.

It's BASIC lazyness. Don't just leave a bunch of shit in a random place because you can't be bothered to get off your arse and actually PUT IT WHERE IT BELONGS (and toiletries belong somewhere in a bathroom, not in a fucking living room).

He is a grown adult and can clear up his own shit - or does he expect you to do it?

Added minus points for jumping to the sexist "stop nagging" and "you're hormonal" because he apparently can't come up with any decent arguments as to why he should be entitled to leave a bunch of shit around the house.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Because he's a lazy sod who wants a tidy home but not the effort of doing so

[FishOn]

YANBU - but I'd have moved it myself or chucked it by now, can't abide a load of crap hanging about in the wrong places

[OliviaBenson]

I'd set a deadline and if no change, bag all his stuff up in bin liners (you could even pretend you've chucked it)

[fredfredgeorgejnrsnr]

"Ought to be" is person specific though, why does one person get to decide that an appropriate place for toiletries is not beside the settee, or that the curtain rail doesn't make a good place to hang clothes.

[shutupanddance]

If he wants a tidy home ge should get his finger out of his arse.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

No it isnt or more people would have a toilet in the kitchen surely?

[Focusfocus]

He is BU. Having said that, this is one oft be many MN threads I'd really really like to see with the genders reversed. Literally the same wording, just the he and she swapped.

[HicDraconis]

Yes.

What was the question? :)

Ok, have read the op. Yes he's being an untidy arse. He needs to pick stuff up and put it where it belongs. Then you will stop being pissed off and asking repeatedly (not nagging!), he will feel happier and all will be well. Then he can pour you a glass of wine and get you chocolate.

[fieldfare]

Whoever it is, male or female, should just put their shit away!

Op he sounds like a petulant child. I'd be tempted to treat him as such, explain again that you're finding his reluctance to take responsibility for himself frustrating, it's turning him into a less attractive person. Ask one final time, and tell him it's the final time, for the things to be moved to their proper home, or the next time you tidy up they'll go in the bin. And do it.

[SymbollocksInteractionism]

HIBU and he should be tidying up after himself. Ask him once then put the offending items into a bin bag or his wardrobe or something and let him sort it.

[DinosaursRoar]

yes.

Just put your shit away Mr Sharon! Toiletaries go in the bathroom. Clothes in the wardrobe.

[Pollyputhtekettleon]

That's beyond acceptable clutter when you live with someone else so YANBU.

[Alibabsandthe40Musketeers]

He is BU.

I cannot stand random stuff left around - clothes on the curtain rail, is he a student??

[RealityCheque]

Anyone who chucked my stuff out, regardless of reason, would be looking for new accommodation. It's fucking childish.

It's his home as much as yours - if you can't come to an agreement you need to decide if its a deal breaker. Throwing others possessions out is never acceptable. Ever.

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

He's bu to not put his stuff away and bvvvvu to accuse you of nagging. Sexist shite.

[SirChenjin]

Yes he is BU.

Tell him it's not nagging, you're not his mother and to tidy up after himself - that way you won't have to remind him so often that his crap is still lying around.

[Fairenuff]

YABU to tell him 7 times. Presumably he can see it needs to be put away? I would have put it all in a bin liner in the garage by now.

[mutantninja]

YANBU, this would drive me mad.

[ItchyArmpits]

When I suffered a similar DH problem in the past, I did the following:-

1. Announce that tomorrow there will be a tidying and anything not in the correct place will be tidied away.
   
   
2. Next day, go around the house with a black bin bag and put anything that irritates me into it. (I just put any of his rubbish in there with his actual belongings; if he can't be arsed to sort it then why should I?)
   
   
3. Dump said bin bag on the floor on his side of the bed where I don't have to look at it.
   
   I know it's not the most mature way of dealing with things, but it took about 5 minutes and the house was so much nicer without his inappropriately-located-shite all over it. Every time he asked "What have you done with my ....?" I just directed him back to his pit.
   
   DH is much better now than he used to be.
   
   Hope this helps. I resorted to it after multiple "You leaving the house in a tip is really disrespectful to me because it is my house too and you know perfectly well I don't like finding your dirty socks on the sofa"-type chats hadn't worked. Once he couldn't find his stuff, he started taking much better care of it.