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Is my husband BU (say yes....say yes)

(46 Posts)
sharonthewaspandthewineywall Thu 19-Nov-15 16:14:59

For being pissed off with me for wanting things to be in the appropriate places? He says im getting on his nerves for 'nagging' about the collection of toiletries by the side of the settee on a ledge and the clothes that have been hanging on the curtain rail in the living room since god knows when. Apparently im hormonal and nagging.

GabiSolis Thu 19-Nov-15 16:19:57

How many times have you nagged about it? Difficult to say if YABU or not.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Thu 19-Nov-15 16:22:16

About 7 times

soupmaker Thu 19-Nov-15 16:25:36

He is BU. Why can't he just put stuff away where it ought to be. I am by no means the most tidy but I can't stand DH or the kids just leaving a trail of stuff at their tail because they are too lazy to put stuff away.

ChesterFuckingDraws Thu 19-Nov-15 16:25:47

He is BU I'd have chucked the stuff out by now. In our house I ask for something to be done twice and if it's not I either do it myself (DIY things) or I chuck it out.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal Thu 19-Nov-15 16:26:33

No, YANBU, this is something my DH does (very rarely though) which really annoys me sometimes.

It's BASIC lazyness. Don't just leave a bunch of shit in a random place because you can't be bothered to get off your arse and actually PUT IT WHERE IT BELONGS (and toiletries belong somewhere in a bathroom, not in a fucking living room).

He is a grown adult and can clear up his own shit - or does he expect you to do it?

Added minus points for jumping to the sexist "stop nagging" and "you're hormonal" because he apparently can't come up with any decent arguments as to why he should be entitled to leave a bunch of shit around the house.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Thu 19-Nov-15 16:27:27

Because he's a lazy sod who wants a tidy home but not the effort of doing so

FishOn Thu 19-Nov-15 16:28:44

YANBU - but I'd have moved it myself or chucked it by now, can't abide a load of crap hanging about in the wrong places

OliviaBenson Thu 19-Nov-15 16:28:59

I'd set a deadline and if no change, bag all his stuff up in bin liners (you could even pretend you've chucked it)

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr Thu 19-Nov-15 16:37:39

"Ought to be" is person specific though, why does one person get to decide that an appropriate place for toiletries is not beside the settee, or that the curtain rail doesn't make a good place to hang clothes.

shutupanddance Thu 19-Nov-15 16:38:58

If he wants a tidy home ge should get his finger out of his arse.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Thu 19-Nov-15 16:40:22

No it isnt or more people would have a toilet in the kitchen surely?

Focusfocus Thu 19-Nov-15 16:41:24

He is BU. Having said that, this is one oft be many MN threads I'd really really like to see with the genders reversed. Literally the same wording, just the he and she swapped.

HicDraconis Thu 19-Nov-15 16:43:10


What was the question? smile

Ok, have read the op. Yes he's being an untidy arse. He needs to pick stuff up and put it where it belongs. Then you will stop being pissed off and asking repeatedly (not nagging!), he will feel happier and all will be well. Then he can pour you a glass of wine and get you chocolate.

fieldfare Thu 19-Nov-15 16:46:25

Whoever it is, male or female, should just put their shit away!

Op he sounds like a petulant child. I'd be tempted to treat him as such, explain again that you're finding his reluctance to take responsibility for himself frustrating, it's turning him into a less attractive person. Ask one final time, and tell him it's the final time, for the things to be moved to their proper home, or the next time you tidy up they'll go in the bin. And do it.

SymbollocksInteractionism Thu 19-Nov-15 16:48:28

HIBU and he should be tidying up after himself. Ask him once then put the offending items into a bin bag or his wardrobe or something and let him sort it.

DinosaursRoar Thu 19-Nov-15 16:49:52


Just put your shit away Mr Sharon! Toiletaries go in the bathroom. Clothes in the wardrobe.

Rafflesway Thu 19-Nov-15 16:53:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pollyputhtekettleon Thu 19-Nov-15 16:55:48

That's beyond acceptable clutter when you live with someone else so YANBU.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers Thu 19-Nov-15 16:57:38

He is BU.

I cannot stand random stuff left around - clothes on the curtain rail, is he a student??

RealityCheque Thu 19-Nov-15 16:58:03

Anyone who chucked my stuff out, regardless of reason, would be looking for new accommodation. It's fucking childish.

It's his home as much as yours - if you can't come to an agreement you need to decide if its a deal breaker. Throwing others possessions out is never acceptable. Ever.

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely Thu 19-Nov-15 16:58:50

He's bu to not put his stuff away and bvvvvu to accuse you of nagging. Sexist shite.

SirChenjin Thu 19-Nov-15 17:01:41

Yes he is BU.

Tell him it's not nagging, you're not his mother and to tidy up after himself - that way you won't have to remind him so often that his crap is still lying around.

Fairenuff Thu 19-Nov-15 17:02:43

YABU to tell him 7 times. Presumably he can see it needs to be put away? I would have put it all in a bin liner in the garage by now.

mutantninja Thu 19-Nov-15 17:03:22

YANBU, this would drive me mad.

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