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To spend a lot of money on dc's clothes?

(33 Posts)
MsRamone Thu 19-Nov-15 11:13:18

I have two boys aged 14 and 16. They don't ask for a lot to be fair, my eldest works part time and pays for his own phone top ups, some of his own clothes and obviously his own snacks and days out etc.
youngest gets £5 week pocket money - gets no phone top ups from me (just uses his phone through whatsapp and Facebook, iMessage etc) and doesn't ask for much else really.
I get maintanance for them both from their father and I work full time with a decent salary.
Lately the boys have been asking for expensive designer clothes. I took eldest shopping and bought him £100 worth of stuff from top man, buttons etc but now he's asked for a winter coat and DP has a face on over it saying he's spoilt. But surely the lad needs a coat and at 16 - he shouldn't be expected to buy his own winter essentials on his Saturday job money??

Youngest is really faddy with clothes and so self conscious so I've not bought him new stuff for ages as I don't have the patience for the whining and indecisiveness blush now however he's asking for timberland boots (about £100), new jeans (£20) and a designer shirt (£50). DP would throw a fit and say no chance. AIBU to at least consider it? I was talking to s friend who spends way more on her kids than I do clothes wise and I feel a bit guilty. It's not like we're short of money but I think dP is totally out of touch with bringing up teens

PassiveAgressiveQueen Thu 19-Nov-15 11:19:56

how long will these items last?
is the 14 year old still growing?

MsRamone Thu 19-Nov-15 11:22:32

He is only a little skinny lad so I'm hoping he's still growing! I always buy a size too big though, it's my inner Scrooge lol

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 19-Nov-15 11:25:17

It's not a competition between you and your friend. Bully for her she can afford it, or perhaps she's putting herself into debt. So get rid of the guilt straight away. I've never bought my dd one item of designer wear. WTF should I or rather dd pay to be a advert for a designer company.
Yes you may not be short of money. I don't want to temp fate but I'm not myself, but what happens if heaven for bid you both lose your jobs 6 months down the line because it could happen. So what will you do then when they start wanting coats for £100 but then I suppose its a case of crossing thst bridge if/when you come to it.
On the whole. No you're not being unreasonable. They're your children. I guess it's horses for courses and entirely up to the individual.

PurpleDaisies Thu 19-Nov-15 11:25:32

If we wanted expensive clothes or shoes we got them as Christmas or birthday presents. Could that be a solution? I'm not talking about essentials though-if your son doesn't have a warm coat he clearly needs one.

Birdsgottafly Thu 19-Nov-15 11:27:12

I think Timberland boots are worth buying.

There's 'designer' which is all about a name on a item of clothing and then there's 'designer' which equals good quality, practical wear (Timberland, DC Martins, North Face etc).

My girls liked K Guiger shoes, they've still got the shoes from upto five years ago, still love them, same with Hunter wellies, Uggs etc.

It was all they wanted during their later teens, so why wouldn't I buy them.

I still treat my 30 & 19 year old, there doing everything they should be and if it's within my budget, I don't see why I shouldn't.

KeepOnMoving1 Thu 19-Nov-15 11:31:03

I still treat my 30 & 19 year old, there doing everything they should be and if it's within my budget, I don't see why I shouldn't

I too agree with this type of reasoning. They seem like good, responsible boys and if you can afford it why not. I would.

Seriouslyffs Thu 19-Nov-15 11:32:22

Hmmm
DS has really expensive clothes. Because he doesn't have many, he looks after them and then we pass them on to younger cousins. My DDs probably have as much spent on them but it's all brandy melville and Topshop crap.
Will DD2 have the expensive coat after and could you give the Timberlands as his main Christmas present?

Owllady Thu 19-Nov-15 11:34:56

My husband is out of touch with how much things cost too
If that helps? grin

SpendSpendSpend Thu 19-Nov-15 11:35:29

If you can afford it then buy it.

I buy my dd whos 3 expensive clothes. Her whole wardrobe is mini boden, ted baker, jaspr conran etc. I buy expensive shoes for her like Geox etc.

I grew up with my mum who was skint and clothes were cheap crap, same with shoes ect.

If you can afford it then get them it. I would spend £60 on a coat for dd no problem

MsJamieFraser Thu 19-Nov-15 11:36:21

what's it got to do with your DP on how you spend your money on your children, isn't that what the money you get from their father is for?

AnnPerkins Thu 19-Nov-15 11:38:16

YANBU

Buying expensive clothes isn't wasteful if the boys will look after them. The older boy's coat can be passed down and you can sell on second hand good quality clothes.

Nataleejah Thu 19-Nov-15 11:40:52

If you can afford it, then YANBU.
On the other hand -- some items are worth paying for, others are not. Boots for £100 -- yes, a shirt for £50 -- no.

BaronessEllaSaturday Thu 19-Nov-15 11:41:32

For me it's about needs and wants, if the boots were needed I would quite happily buy the Timberlands if however it was just a want then it could be a present for Christmas or Birthday or chores could be done to earn it.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 19-Nov-15 11:45:28

My friend spends loads on her dd. lots of designer names and fancy things.

She then passes them down to my dd. it's great!

Ds has they both have a mix of brands, from north face, next, h&m, George at asda.

Many have been given to them or bought cheaply from a charity shop.

Others have been bought new. I took ds shopping for a winter coat. I was expecting to pay about £50, for something dark, warm and wet-proof for school.

Went to a designer outlet village. He chose a French connection puffa (£13) and a Ben Sherman wax coat (£12). I was so pleased, I said he could have both!

He now wants a super dry (£45), but I said no, as he has 4 coats. He was given 2 after I bough the others.

If they will look after them, then buy them. I made the mistake of buying ds cheap school shoes one year. I had to buy decent ones a week later!

MerryMarigold Thu 19-Nov-15 11:52:50

I don't think what you're spending is totally unreasonable when it comes to teens, but something like the boots I think I would say for Christmas. Coat is a bit different. As long as they have enough to wear, it's better to have a few bits of good quality stuff than tons and tons and tons of cheap clothes, imo.

specialsubject Thu 19-Nov-15 11:54:18

can you afford it?

can you still afford it if (like anyone can) you lose your job tomorrow?

do try to teach discrimination though - that having someone's name on an item is no guarantee of quality or fitness for purpose

HesterShaw Thu 19-Nov-15 11:55:30

I think I'm with their dad on this one - it's the principle. Spending money like that on clothes for children while they're still growing is not only pointless, but in my opinion encourages a horrible kind of materialism. Buying expensive stuff doesn't make people happy.

But I think I will be in the minority.

futureme Thu 19-Nov-15 11:55:57

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to afford my children turning into teens.

INeedACheeseSlicer Thu 19-Nov-15 11:57:56

My children are much younger than yours. I don't buy them "designer" clothes (at least, I don't think I do), but if it is something they need - like the new winter coat in your example, then I will spend as much as I need to get something that will be good quality and last.

I usually spend more on coats (and shoes), because I think cheap ones aren't necessarily worth it, they're either not warm enough, not waterproof, or too thick and bulky to run around in; expensive coats tend to be much lighter and thinner for the same level of warmth. I would rather buy a second-hand expensive coat than a new cheap one for the same price, but if I can't get the second hand one, I'll shell out for the expensive one. But we don't have a car, and walk a lot, so the DC absolutely need good quality outerwear.

If it is just something that they want, and I think that they already have enough clothes that fit, then they have to either wait until birthday or Christmas, pay for it themselves out of pocket money (eldest) or just get told no.

BertieBotts Thu 19-Nov-15 11:58:14

For me designer or especially expensive branded shoes are christmas/birthday presents, unless you have the money and typically spend similar on your own clothes.

What about agreeing a clothes budget and if DS wants something which comes in over budget, he can make up the difference with his wages? Or buy one designer shirt and other cheaper shirts?

Wotsitsareafterme Thu 19-Nov-15 11:58:41

Yanbu. My girls are my pride and joy the wear the best of what I can provide. I love dressing them in quality clothes which they like and enjoy. They are not spoilt and I am strict with them about behaviour and rules. They are well mannered and always delighted when I present them with new clothes.
I have had snarky comments from time to time about this. I find it a form of inverse snobbery.
Op your boys sound great and I will be rewarding my two on the future too when they have part time jobs.

MarianneSolong Thu 19-Nov-15 12:01:19

I can see that many parents take real pleasure in seeing their children wearing 'good' clothes that are well-known brands. (Though it's tricky if the other parent doesn't see the necessity.) And if there is any unusual pressure on spending on utilties etc, clothing does seem to be an area where economies might be made.

For me the question is what happens when young people grow up. For many of them wages are low and housing costs are high. If they take a supply of expensive branded clothes for granted, it's not going to be easy for them to switch to a more economical approach.

SevenSeconds Thu 19-Nov-15 12:04:00

YANBU

I don't spend much on my DC's clothes at all, but the items you've mentioned don't sound extravagant to me, given that you earn a decent salary and don't buy them much as a rule. I think your DP is being a little mean.

Would it help to have a proper chat about it and come up with a monthly budget that you all agree with?

YouWakeUpFlawless Thu 19-Nov-15 12:07:06

If you can afford it... Why not!
I spend £££ on my daughters wardrobe, she's 2.
But its my money and my choice. I've found that the better the quality the longer it lasts, and it's worth the money

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