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To think I should have been asked

(17 Posts)
Northernnights Wed 18-Nov-15 15:18:04

...even though I would have said no?
I am in a hobby/ craft group. Our teacher frequently orders supplies in bulk and passes on a reasonable discount to us.
I ordered quite a lot of stuff, two items I need now in order to finish items for the parish Christmas fair. Our group books a table and we sell our stuff which goes a long way to paying for our hobby.
I should have picked up my supplies two weeks ago but I missed one session and the following session I forgot. So today I asked the teacher for the items. One was missing. One of the two items I needed to make my finished craft work saleable. She admitted that she had given it to another crafter as they needed it even though they hadn't ordered it nor paid for it like I had.
I am really upset, stupidly, over this. Why has the other woman been prioritised over me?
So to reorder this item it will cost me £20, the original one with the discount was only £15. The woman will apparently give me the £15 my item cost me. She has had it for two weeks and has not mentioned anything about it to me.
I am not sure how to deal with this without shouting, crying or acting like a twat. I know I'll have to calm down. But why did the teacher think it was acceptable to give away my stuff without asking?
Do I need a grip? I suppose I might.

GwynethPaltrowIamNot Wed 18-Nov-15 15:22:43

If you had paid for it it wasn't hers to give away so I'd say something
The other woman can order her own for £20

Northernnights Wed 18-Nov-15 15:42:12

That's what I think, but the teacher has agreed the other woman covers my cost and I can buy a new one. Which will cost £20 plus postage or I wait ages for another bulk order at £15. Either way my piece will not be ready for the Christmas fair. So all my hard work, planning and costs defrayed won't be displayed for sale at the Christmas Fair. I think the next one is in the summer.

Northernnights Wed 18-Nov-15 15:42:50

Thanks, Gwyneth.

SallyMcgally Wed 18-Nov-15 15:59:32

No - you don't need a grip at all - they're completely out of line. Once you've handed your money over, it's up to you when you collect it, (unless she has storage problems, in which case she could drop you a line) not for somebody merrily to hand it over to someone else. I'd be really upset too - it's incredibly thoughtless. I wonder if the other woman actually knows what happened and that you had actually paid. Your teacher sounds very flaky indeed.

ZoeTurtle Wed 18-Nov-15 16:06:33

The teacher can't agree anything, you paid for the item so it's yours. The other woman pays you what it will cost now, including postage, or gives the item back, or the teacher pays or arranges you a new item. You just have to be firm.

mintoil Wed 18-Nov-15 16:06:47

I would complain to the teacher one last time and say you want the goods you paid for - to give them to someone else could be interpreted as theft. If she won't sort this out for you I would go over her head and complain to a manager.
Why can't the other student give you the stuff back? Has she used it already? I would be FUMING!!!!!!!

TheFlis12345 Wed 18-Nov-15 16:17:45

Yes it's annoying and the teacher shouldn't have done it, but shouting and crying would be a massive overreaction.

MaxPepsi Wed 18-Nov-15 16:20:19

Your teacher is out of order.

Massively so.

You do not need a grip at all, you need the item you have paid for.

I'd be bloody livid!

GruntledOne Wed 18-Nov-15 16:27:22

It's not up to the teacher either to give your things away or to decide how they will be paid for. If the other woman hadn't been given your stuff presumably she would either have been paying £20+ or going without. However, your difficulty is that she will point out that you wouldn't have got the discount at all but for her bulk order, and will guilt-trip you about not collecting it earlier. Maybe talk to the teacher and the other woman about splitting the difference?

witsender Wed 18-Nov-15 16:37:27

Could she give it back? Or share it? Is it a tool or expendables?

SallyMcgally Wed 18-Nov-15 16:38:10

If you feel you might get emotional when dealing with it, then try writing an e-mail. Don't send it off straightaway - come back to it after a couple of hours and make sure it's measured and calm (but firm!). Good luck.

Rafflesway Wed 18-Nov-15 16:45:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Wed 18-Nov-15 16:49:45


BoomBoomsCousin Wed 18-Nov-15 16:51:56

YANBU to think the teacher should not have done what she did. But you need to assess how much power you have to change this situation. The teacher presumably feels justified in what she did, so if you kick up a fuss what will the outcome be? Will she reorder for you at no cost to yourself and then everything will go back to how it was? Or will she just plain refuse and there will be awkwardness and bad feeling from here on out? IS the ordering in bulk a massive favour to the group? Or does the teacher get commission and really need to keep you all happy? Are there alternative groups you could attend if this destroys your relationship with the teacher?

It's an awkward situation to be because I think you're absolutely in the right, but I can see strong possibility that speaking up will cause you more problems than it will solve.

Northernnights Wed 18-Nov-15 17:17:23

Thanks everyone.
The teacher runs this group. She is the man. Within the craft classes is a clique ( should I say quiche?) who are all very into the teacher.
The teacher is very firm about rules, ordering, payment up front, schedules etc. She will not allow exceptions...... unless you are in the clique. So when we were told to place our order and pay, I did so immediately. The other woman clearly didn't and when she needed the item to display her work she took mine. Now I can't display my work.
I've read your responses (thanks) and I think I'll email and ask for item to be replaced, no money.

ProfGrammaticus Wed 18-Nov-15 17:21:41

I think you're right OP, absolutely right. But given the description you have given here, I think it will cause trouble. I suppose it depends how much you enjoy the hobby really.

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