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to ask how often you do it

(29 Posts)
SchoolRun2012to2035 Tue 17-Nov-15 21:10:20

Since DS3 came along 3 years ago we don't ever find the time. It doesn't bother me on a day to day basis until I realise that it's been like 4 months but I know it bothers DH more.

Does anyone ever actually have the time anymore or is it just me and will the drought ever end?!

MsJamieFraser Tue 17-Nov-15 21:18:35

I dont get threads like these, I honestly dont want to know how many times people shag a week/month etc... Why do you want to know how often they shag?

If you came on and asked, how you make time for your relationship (which I think it key) then I could give lots of answers, but to give a number on how many times we shag, really to me is just odd.

WheresMyBurrito Tue 17-Nov-15 21:19:31

You do know there's a sex topic on here, right?

Fratelli Tue 17-Nov-15 21:20:19

We do it whenever we get the chance grin when ds is napping when we're both off or when he's in bed! When oh is on nights he gets up around half an hour after ds goes to bed so we quite often do it before oh gets ready for work! Ds is only 9mo though. We do it about 3/4 times a week

EastMidsMummy Tue 17-Nov-15 21:20:36

This thread is about washing towels, right

EastMidsMummy Tue 17-Nov-15 21:20:54


DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Tue 17-Nov-15 21:21:40

Doesn't matter how many times other people do it. What matters is, it doesn't bother you, but it bothers your DH. So you need to find some middle ground.

U2HasTheEdge Tue 17-Nov-15 21:21:28

When I feel like it..

Can be once a week, once every few days or once a month. Most likely once a month right now.

I just can't be arsed most of the time. DH has a low sex drive so it's all ok.

SchoolRun2012to2035 Tue 17-Nov-15 21:21:59

MsJamieFraser all advice welcome

FattyNinjaOwl Tue 17-Nov-15 21:24:46

Erm....quite a bit..2-3 times a week. Sometimes more. We like it....a lot.....

verystressedmum Tue 17-Nov-15 21:24:43

MsJamieFraser just because you don't want to know doesn't mean no one else is allowed to hmm

Seeyounearertime Tue 17-Nov-15 21:28:42

When we fancy it. Sometimes it's weeks between and sometimes it's several days in a row. Doesnt worry me, we're only 18 36 sad we have all the time in the world for shenanigans.

UptownFunk00 Tue 17-Nov-15 21:30:28

Every 2 or 3 weeks.

BifsWif Tue 17-Nov-15 21:30:38

It depends, sometimes it'll be once a week, sometimes 5 times a week. We have two DC, a five year old and a 6 month old so finding time can be tricky but we manage it!

TimeToMuskUp Tue 17-Nov-15 21:45:39

Every hour on the hour.

In my head. With Benedict Cucumberbum.

MsJamieFraser Tue 17-Nov-15 21:46:14

Where have I said No one is allowed to know confused verystressedmum

I fail to understand how another person knowing how many times dh and I have sex, can improve their relationship.

OP do you both work full time? We both do, and normally leave the home between 7-8am and don't get back in now most days untill 7pm. (one of us always finishes at 5pm to get kids from GP's) When DC go to bed at 9pm.

We then make that out time, Saturday evenings and Sunday, are our family time and each others time, and also we have a date night twice a month, it may be a night out, or it may be a night in, we are currently doing the alphabet A-Z dates, where we each have to do an activity with the letter we are on...

Currnetly on letter F, and dh's is taking me to Frankie and Benny's, hmm I'm have a Fuck night...

We have been together 17 years.

Also good, and we do a fair wee bit, is quickies... I'l run a bath and shout on dh.. that I need help cleaning the shower... kids are unaware as xbox's we're switched on 5 mins beforehand...

OddlyLogical Tue 17-Nov-15 22:20:25

I don't think it matters what other people do, however, I think it's fair to say that it requires effort when you have young kids!
It's too easy to put all your time and effort into your kids and not leave enough time for your relationship.
Have a soak in the bath, snuggle up together on the sofa, have a glass of wine - do whatever you need to do to look after your marriage. Your lack of sex is a symptom of not spending enough quality time together.

Shodan Tue 17-Nov-15 23:47:00

It's not really about helping other people improve their relationship, is it? It's about knowing that others are in the same boat, that it's not unusual to have dry spells or 'ordinary' sex rather than movie sex etc.

At least that's my take on it, anyway.

In answer to your question though OP- it varies wildly in the Shodan house. Sometimes weeks can go by-actually, usually weeks go by- without it even being thought of. Then we get all romantic-like and I might say "Oi. We haven't Done It for ages. We should Do It." And DH will say "Yeah, right, ok." And we'll get around to it asap sometime in the following two weeks

Other times, we'll be at it like decrepit rabbits. Sometimes twice in one week!

I guess, though, the important thing is that we both have the same attitude to the whole thing and that we've always been able to talk about it, rather than skirt around any issues. For instance, there have been times that I really haven't felt any sexual urges, and I tell DH so. He doesn't take it personally and leaves it up to me to indicate when I feel ready (see above Romantic Conversation). I think that's more important than anything else.

Unreasonablebetty Wed 18-Nov-15 00:30:48

We have sex every 2-3 weeks. It feels shocking to me and every 3 months or so we have a right tear up about it because I find that it really gets to me.
But we do share an extremely hectic life,
My husband generally wakes up at 5am, leaves the house by 5:45, doesn't come home till 6 when DD comes home from after school club,
Once a week we tend to have extra work in London so we will have a mad rush where we have to drop DD to MILs and run off, we don't stop till around 12 on that night of the week.
All the others we have dinner and DD goes to bed at 8pm.
DH tends to look for new jobs, then tells me he's so tired and goes to bed by 9:30 ish and that's our day.

It makes me sad that we don't have sex, even sadder that this is representative of our daily lives.

We used to have date nights, where we would enjoy each others company and had sex, but that hasn't happened since we got married 6 months ago.

whois Wed 18-Nov-15 00:33:57

Can easily got a few weeks if DP is working funny hours. I just don't feel very keen if I've already been asleep for 4 hours! Likewise he isn't very keen when I get up and he's still got another 4 hours of sleep to do!

When working hours align much more regular.

wickedlazy Wed 18-Nov-15 01:18:25

No where near as often as we used to.

When we got together I was 18 and dp 26, it was 3-4 times a week, until the last year or so (I'm now 23, dp 31). Now more like once every 2-3 weeks. Quality of sex hasn't changed though and we're still really affectionate with each other. smile

wickedlazy Wed 18-Nov-15 01:22:00

I actually feel quite reasurred by other posters also having sex every two or three weeks. I guess we're fairly average then? smile

wickedlazy Wed 18-Nov-15 01:23:16

And were rabbits when younger blush

Wagglebees Wed 18-Nov-15 02:10:43

do it

grin 1994 flashbacks. I haven't heard this since I was at secondary school! "Urgh, I bet they were ^doing it^"

Made me laugh anyway.

Wagglebees Wed 18-Nov-15 02:13:58

Apart from frequency of 'doing it' <snigger> it's the stuff in between that I think is equally important. The hugs, the kisses, everyday physical affection. Just that feeling that you really fancy each other, even if you're too tired for sex or it's been a while. So long as that connection is there, that the main thing.

as well as doing it

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