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to be pissed off with hubby

(33 Posts)
Pooshy Tue 17-Nov-15 20:06:57

We have an 11 month old baby, she's great but it's been very tiring and stressful recently, we're both quite broken

This weekend DH is having his friend stay from Germany for three nights. When he comes over, all they do is drink and be twats basically. Fine. They are going out drinking all day Saturday from midday, I expect they'll return (and wake me up) around 2am. Fine. I know I'll be doing the childcare all weekend which is cool, (I do the lion share anyway and all the getting up at night, 25 times last night for example!). But when I reminded him he was to stay in Friday night as I was seeing a friend for dinner, I got a look and "Well I hope the baby doesn't kick off!" as if she's just my responsibility!

I'm hacked off as he should be happy to cover a few hours. I'll even drive so I can get back ASAP if things are difficult. I need a break too and he will be off duty as useless for the rest of the weekend as hell be drunk or hungover

AIBU?!

Kewcumber Tue 17-Nov-15 20:09:03

Don't drive - take a cab and get pissed and leave him to it.

Euphemia Tue 17-Nov-15 20:10:06

He's being a selfish twat. Have a chat with him about how you're not the default parent - he needs to accept his responsibilities.

YANBU.

MitzyLeFrouf Tue 17-Nov-15 20:11:55

Take a taxi and have a drink.

Then once the weekend is over have a serious think about whether you want to be with this man.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Tue 17-Nov-15 20:12:43

He referred to her as "the baby ". And not as a term of endearment?

Fuck him. Go out and don't prep everything before you go to make his life easy.

Jibberjabberjooo Tue 17-Nov-15 20:14:23

You say we have an 11 month old baby. You don't, you have an 11 month old baby and a DH who seems to think childcare isn't his responsibility.

rookiemere Tue 17-Nov-15 20:14:30

Wow I'd be hacked off by that remark and attitude as well.

Time for you to take up a hobby OP methinks, one that will require you to go out for a couple of hours weekly so that H learns to look after his own DC.

RiverTam Tue 17-Nov-15 20:15:00

Get a taxi, tell him it's time to parent his own child. However, is your DC ill or anything at the mo - 25 times in one night is quite a lot for an 11 month old.

KeepOnMoving1 Tue 17-Nov-15 20:14:46

Yanbu, he is selfish and needs to buck up.

Yabu in that you are 'cool' and 'fine' with all this. Do you really think it's 'fine' to be accepting this behaviour? That is ok to be having a few drunks over the entire weekend. Also yabu to be so accepting of being the default parent here.

janethegirl2 Tue 17-Nov-15 20:19:08

YABVU using the term 'hubby'. It is so cringworthy.

BastardGoDarkly Tue 17-Nov-15 20:22:18

Urgh yes it is Jane, but so it's pointing it out on someone's thread wouldn't you say?

He's being an entitled teenage wannabe op, don't put up with it fgs, or you're setting a precedent for the rest of your life!

DrewsWife Tue 17-Nov-15 20:32:00

I use the term hubby. Ybvu to cringe at something a sleep deprived mum has said.

I'm in a group of fab mn mums. All approx 11 months old. If you pm me details maybe you could join us. We have sleep deprived mums. And the support is fab.

upaladderagain Tue 17-Nov-15 20:45:16

He needs to realise that she's his responsibility as well as yours. How about getting a Saturday job at one of the big shops in the run-up to Christmas so that he has to spend a full day looking after his daughter?
It worked for me, when our 2 dcs were both under 3. DH took them to his mums the first couple of times, until I put my foot down and got her on-side.
I gave the job up in January, lesson learned.

Pooshy Tue 17-Nov-15 20:48:04

Hi drewswife, that's just what I need thank you. I'm new to MN tho and can't figure out how to pm you?

Pooshy Tue 17-Nov-15 20:49:28

Thanks for all your comments, mums net is great for venting, I feel much better and am going to hand the reigns over to DH much more

MsJamieFraser Tue 17-Nov-15 20:53:10

your allowing his behaviour to continue, why are you doing the lions share, why are you allowing him to think the baby is your responsibility? why does he think he can have a three day jaunt when he has a baby at home, and wake you up with his drunken antics.

You need to change or demand he takes an active role in his child's live!

Cookingongas Tue 17-Nov-15 20:54:21

Yanbu. He sounds a twat and you really should force him to step up.

25 times is huge though. Over twice an hour in twelve hours. Teething? Ill? She and you must be exhausted, that is unsustainable . You poor thing.

Pooshy Tue 17-Nov-15 20:55:13

Yes she's teething and turns out she has an ear infection

MsJamieFraser Tue 17-Nov-15 20:55:53

In your opinion its cringe worth, to others it is not!

If you dont have anything nice to say, don't say it at all, more so when it have no place on to topic the OP is asking about.

Leelu6 Tue 17-Nov-15 21:07:42

Janethegirl2 - YABU for not knowing how to spell cringeworthy properly.

Hubby and I are cringing for you.

pinotblush Tue 17-Nov-15 21:11:58

You really do need to stop letting this man get away with what he does. Shared responsibility is what should go on.

DrewsWife Tue 17-Nov-15 21:13:04

Leelu you were an über bitch on a thread yesterday weren't you?!

How's your appointment wait time to get those hairy feet waxed. Do you have long left to wait?

Seeyounearertime Tue 17-Nov-15 21:16:05

If LO wakes 25 times he gets up 13 you get up 12. grin

What is it with a lot of guys? Are they stuck in 1940s?
I agree with rookiemere. Get a hobby or any reason to go out a couple times a week or for a whole Saturday every week. Let it be daddy bonding time.

janethegirl2 Tue 17-Nov-15 21:20:34

Sorry if I've offended anyone, but I absolutely hate the term *hubby.

MitzyLeFrouf Tue 17-Nov-15 21:23:11

I've just said 'hubby' aloud for the first time in my life.

I won't be repeating it.

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