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ExP is still BU and now being manipulative.

(9 Posts)
TaliZorah Tue 17-Nov-15 18:45:11

Following on from my other thread where ExP got abusive after I wasn't free on the day he wanted to see DS. He pays no maintenance and wants everything on his terms all the time.

He told me he was free 5 days before Chrisrmas but I told him it wasn't convenient. He fired off a few more dates but December is very difficult so I said I couldn't tell him for sure until I'd checked with my mum, as id need to use her car.

He said he couldn't possibly do any other days because he's at university and that I was adding to his anxiety and he couldn't deal with a baby at the moment because he's got exams. I explained that you can't shirk your responsibilities and that he can't stop being a dad when he's busy.

We got into an argument, and he then said "you left me so this is your fault, you were clearly having an affair (lol no)" I told him to stop being paranoid and jealous and I got this

"Of course I am. I loved you so much and you broke me. I FUCK EVERYTHING UP DONT I?! SEE IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN TALI THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT"

"You want me to fail don't you? YOU WIN"

"Maybe I should just you know...go away...permanently...find a way out...because of you...I HOPE YOURE HAPPY"

"I'm going to end up sectioned or dead you mess with my head so much I can't cope YOU PUT ME THROUGH HELL I HATE YOU"

"Oh God I'm so sorry Tali I loved you I didn't mean to upset you"

All in seperate messages. I've saved them all.

I'm starting to get unnerved by his behaviour. When we were together I've witnessed some instability (smashing a laptop in anger, kicking things, dropping to the floor crying) and so on and I do not want this man anywhere near DS.

Any advice would be appreciated.

OliviaBenson Tue 17-Nov-15 19:44:23

I think you need to disengage. If he starts getting more serious about wanting to end it, call the police. But he is not your responsibility.

I'd make your child available, but I wouldn't be driving to him. He should make the effort.

pictish Tue 17-Nov-15 19:48:00

Exactly what Olivia said.

Senpai Tue 17-Nov-15 19:49:59

I'd make your child available, but I wouldn't be driving to him. He should make the effort.

Yep. Lesson #1 in parenthood, children aren't just there for your convenience. He can get the child when he wants to put in the effort like a real father would.

memyselfandaye Tue 17-Nov-15 19:52:32

I would not be leaving my child alone with someone who sounds unhinged.

TaliZorah Tue 17-Nov-15 19:56:32

I would not be leaving my child alone with someone who sounds unhinged.

He doesn't see DS alone for that reason, I have to be there too. Which is why it's hard to get a time that suits both of us

pictish Tue 17-Nov-15 19:57:37

"Maybe I should just you know...go away...permanently...find a way out...because of you...I HOPE YOURE HAPPY"

I haven't read such transparent manipulative drivel since I dumped my bf when we were both 14. High drama indeed.

Of course any threat of self harm should be treated seriously, so a call to the police would be appropriate.
If he's just an immature idiot that's hosting a pity party with you as the star guest, he'll soon be deterred by a visit from the police to check on him.
If he's serious, they can get him the help he needs.

TaliZorah Tue 17-Nov-15 19:59:52

Thanks everyone, I'll definitely stop with taking DS to see him. He's only seen DS for a grand total of 6 hours anyway and 3 of those he ignored DS and used as an opportunity to quiz me about my apparent hoards of men I sleep with..

TaliZorah Tue 17-Nov-15 20:16:00

Lol pictish it sounds like something a lovesick teen would trot out doesn't it? Totally immature

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