Wwyd? Ex husband not paying csa.

(15 Posts)
harboromummy Mon 16-Nov-15 09:08:49

Been separated for quiet a while.

I have a non molestation order on him, that he doesn't follow.

He rarely sees the kids, probs one month every two months. And once every two weeks?. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's way less.

He sends me disgusting messages when he doesn't get his own way.

I went to the csa in Jan. He claimed he couldn't afford the £52 a week. So I said I would let him lay £35. Kids have received nothing until around 6 weeks ago, but then it's some weeks he will pay it some weeks he's "skint and has more priorities to pay"

Three weeks ago he bought a brand new car on finance. Because it was a necessity apparently.

Today he emailed me to tell me he's not paying this week, because he's using the money to pay for dds Xmas present. And if I kick off, then he will tell dd I'm "a selfish cu nt which is why she has no Xmas presents off him"

I'm fed up!!!!!

MammaTJ Mon 16-Nov-15 09:12:36

You can't seal with him, so let the CSA do it, and take the full amount.

Fine, he can tell DD what he likes, if he sinks that low. She really will see the other side, I promise you. It might not be straight away, but she will.

You cannot continue to be bullied and controlled by him now you are apart.

MammaTJ Mon 16-Nov-15 09:13:29

Clearly I meant DEAL with him!

GruntledOne Mon 16-Nov-15 09:16:21

Contact CSA and ask what they're doing to get the arrears. Don't discuss this with him direct.

NotRightNowDear Mon 16-Nov-15 09:55:37

Leave it to the CSA. He's never going to get any better.

I agree with the others. Don't interact with him more than the absolute bare minimum. Refer it back to the CSA and let them deal with it. If he winges about it, just say that it's the CSA running things and there is nothing you can do.

AliceInUnderpants Mon 16-Nov-15 10:12:12

Yep, just refer back to the CMS. You'll both lose out slightly, but it'll mean you should know what you have coming in every month.

OurBlanche Mon 16-Nov-15 10:14:54

Save the emails, send the whole mess back to the CSA. Don't even try to discuss it with him.

And remove your agreement to a lower figure... he is still controlling you and getting what he wants.

Good luck

MillionToOneChances Mon 16-Nov-15 10:22:42

He obviously could have afforded the full amount, because he can afford that car! Just stop dealing with it, get the CSA or whatever they're currently called to get you the full amount.

MillionToOneChances Mon 16-Nov-15 10:24:55

And if he's not following the non-molestation order, enforce it. They have no power if you don't report breaches: www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200340001&itemid=1399

Fieryfighter Mon 16-Nov-15 10:56:15

Oh definitely let the CSA deal, it will be healthier all round and you really do not need the aggro.

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 16-Nov-15 11:12:31

Do you have anything about verbal communications in your non mol?

HaydeeofMonteCristo Mon 16-Nov-15 13:17:08

Yes, let the CSA deal with it and report any breaches of the non-mol.

HaydeeofMonteCristo Mon 16-Nov-15 13:18:58

Obviously stop contacting him re money or anything else as it can blur the question of whether he is breaching the non mol of it goes to court.

SheHasAWildHeart Mon 16-Nov-15 13:34:41

CSA will take it from his wages before it even hits his bank account. Even if he ignores their letters, they'll trace his employers. Can sometimes take a while but they'll sort it. And they'll backdate payments to the first day you ring them.

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