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AIBU?

1st birthday party?

18 replies

Freezingwinter · 16/11/2015 09:05

More of a wwyd than an aibu. I am a ftm planning a first birthday party and in need of advice from more experienced of mums!

DS birthday is February so no chance of a bbq outside (would be my ideal preference) so we are hiring a small soft play area suitable from newborns.

Just wondering though. What do I do about older siblings? For example one friend is a week older than Ds but also has a seven year old big brother. Do I invite both?

Secondly dh's family are the kind who wanted to invite everyone and their dog to our wedding. I really want to keep it small, so do adults without kids or with grown up kids expect to be at these things? Even at a child's play area?

Dh brother is in his thirties, married and not close to us or Ds at all. Do I invite them along? Mil will likely kick up a storm if not. But I don't know if it's weird to invite them to these sorts of things?

Thanks in advance!

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chumbler · 16/11/2015 09:09

Invite siblings, childcare is an expense and a hassle, plus lots of kids is a lovely atmosphere

Do something different for the relatives, e.g. afternoon tea at yours? Just buy some cakes, nibbles etc

Happy bday!

bluebolt · 16/11/2015 09:21

Have a birthday tea for family, I would not go to a child's birthday party at soft play with no DCs unless maybe future GC. Siblings I invited if parties where on a week day and childcare was difficult and then they would normally be pre school or those of very close friends of mine.

DoreenLethal · 16/11/2015 09:23

For a 1 year old?

Have the family/friends round for tea - leave the soft play until your child is old enough to remember it/enjoy it.

BlinkAndMiss · 16/11/2015 09:28

I think the soft play party for a one year old is overkill, the first birthday is for the parents and the ones after that are child orientated. Seriously, save yourself the hassle, invite close family round for birthday cake and a drink.

Mixing newborns, babies and older kids at soft play is a recipe for disaster when you know them all. It's not easy to stop friends 7 year old from jumping about near the little ones without causing offence etc. it's hard enough with kids you don't know at soft play. Adults who have no kids will see it as some kind of torture as will the adults who have kids. I'm not trying to say your idea is terrible but use this opportunity to have close family and friends round to celebrate.

whatsagoodusername · 16/11/2015 09:28

We went to a pub, which was next door to a soft play. Kids disappeared for an hour with a few parents and the adults stayed in the pub.

Worked very well.

Wishful80sMontage · 16/11/2015 09:29

Yes I would do soft play just for the kids then cake and nibbles at yours for family only

Freezingwinter · 16/11/2015 09:30

Our house is tiny - way too small to invite even one or two kids round really with parents etc. of course Ds won't remember his party but he will still enjoy it on the day.

Thanks for all your replies re inviting siblings/adults. I think we will probably have a pub lunch with older relatives, separately

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DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 16/11/2015 09:31

I really would do nothing beyond tea and cake for close family at home for a 1 year old.

Freezingwinter · 16/11/2015 09:32

Thanks

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reni2 · 16/11/2015 09:40

First birthday is the one to do without kiddie friends. Ds won't remember or have a clue what's going on, all he'll need is a slice of cake to make an almighty mess with. Have family around for tea, friends (yours, not his) if you must. There will be many softplay birthdays to come.

SummerHouse · 16/11/2015 09:41

I didn't do anything. No one minded least of all the 1 yr old. We did have a day at the Deep in Hull which was really lovely. Plenty of time for parties when they will enjoy and remember them. That's just my approach. I can understand people wanting to throw a do but just have it the way you want it and try not to let it stress you out.

Crazypetlady · 16/11/2015 09:59

When ds is one we are having a garden party as it summer it is joint with a family member and we are just using it to meet up

eurochick · 16/11/2015 12:27

I don't think most just turned one year olds will get a lot out of soft play, tbh. Like others have said we just dos presents and cake at home with grandparents. That was perfect.

FloweryPowery · 16/11/2015 12:43

Just invite family or take them out for a meal. We did italian for both our DCs' first birthdays, because one loved pizza and the other pasta. If you want to do soft play it is nice to invite sibs but not obligatory. I think having a handful of families over is much nicer than inviting lots of babies and mums, and expecting sibs to stay home with dad. It's different with older children.

Re inviting relatives to soft play, it's normal to see grandparents and aunties at these things, though I can't imagine they enjoy them much. My parents just decline. Half of me is pleased they don't feel any obligation, the other half is a bit pissed off they don't make an effort to see my DC round their birthdays. We now invite them over for cake instead. Whether they come depends on how busy they are.

cowbag1 · 16/11/2015 13:06

Sorry I disagree. Ds is 11mo and loves soft play. If we went out for dinner or had a party at ours he would either be bored or spend the whole time climbing on everyone whilst they are trying to eat their cake!

We have hired a village hall and some soft play equipment for his 1st birthday as we love an excuse for a big get together.

KatyN · 16/11/2015 13:36

My best friend and he husband have always come to my son's birthday parties. They don't have children but play a big part in his life.
We normally just have people around to the house though, which I see isn't possible for you!

I might be wary of inviting them to a venue where they had to pay for rubbish coffee (or is that just th soft plays I go to?)

K

BathshebaDarkstone · 16/11/2015 13:39

With mine it was a birthday tea at home with relatives.

Freezingwinter · 16/11/2015 14:07

Thanks for your replies they've been really helpful tbh the soft play venue is a given, I am going to book because I know my Ds will enjoy.. He's currently in the process of climbing the stairs and swinging off the baby gate like a monkey so I know he will love a soft play day.. Of course he won't remember it but he will enjoy it on the day!!

I think what I will do is invite friends with babies and siblings and just grandparents. Then I think we will have a lovely pub lunch with grandparents and godparents the day before or after. Thanks for all your help

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