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To worry where this may lead

(62 Posts)
Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:09:08

Just got home from hospital had a fall and badly sprained my ankle. Went to A and E and saw a junior doctor.
He did not seem to be bothered about my ankle and instead kept asking me about my epilespy how many seizures etc, am I under a specialist, why are they uncontrolled, why am I on no medication. In the end my husband said "she is not here about her seizures she is here about her ankle".
Back story- I have had epilepsy for 10 years, its always been uncontrolled and i decided a few years ago with the complete support of my specialist to come off medication as I did not feel it was helping. I have also a two year old DS
While the doctor finally looked at my ankle my husband said I am just going to ring your mum and make sure Ds is ok.
As soon as he had left the doctor started asking questions such as-
How do you look after your son with having seizures?
Is someone with you at all times?
Did your have the backing of your specialist before you got pregnant?
Does your son get scared when he sees you have seizures?
He then left the cubical shaking his head and saying he was not happy with this at all. I said what do you mean? But he carried on walking. Baring in mind that earlier he has expressed surprise that I "manage" to work with my condition.
When husband came back in I was close to tears and told him what had happened, next thing a consultant came in the cubical and said he was here to look at my ankle.
My husband told him what the first doctor had said and he just shrugged and sent me for an x ray.
While I was in X-ray my husband tried to find the junior doctor but with no success. I had X ray and then consultant came back to tell me it was not broken and I could go home.
I said I was not happy with the conduct of the junior doctor and he just said "make a complaint if you want" and left.
I told my husband I just wanted to go and would meet him at the main entrance as I now had crutches and he would go and get the car. As I came out the cubical I saw the junior doctor and another junior doctor with their backs to me and heard the works " unfit unsafe mother". I said "are you talking about me" and they just turned, looked and walked off.
I started crying and a lovely nurse came up to me and sat me down and I explained what had happened. She advised me to call my health visitor and Gp first thing in the morning to let them knows what happened and to file a complaint. She then walked with me to the main entrance and explained to Dh what had happened, he was all for going back in but I just wanted to go home and hug my DS.
Before I was pregnant I had the support of my epilespy specialist and Gp. All the midwive, doctors and health visitors where great during my pregnancy and afterwards. I have never ever had a negative reaction from a health professional until now. I just feel sick that this junior doctors who probably knows nothing about seziures may ring social services or do something else. I feel physically sick

wickedlazy Mon 16-Nov-15 00:16:45

Contact gp first thing tomorrow, and organise to see him asap. Tell him all this, and that you now feel very stressed and worried juniour doc may phone ss. Ask best procedure to make a complaint against juniour doctor.

That's all I think off. Juniour dr sounds like a jumped up little dick.

Hope gp can help. You could maybe ring ss yourself, tell them what juniour dr said, and how worried you are about it, that you want to do the best by ds. Think this would look good on your part? Although if he doesn't ring ss, you may have unintentionally made things worse. sad

wickedlazy Mon 16-Nov-15 00:16:50


OnTheEdgeToday Mon 16-Nov-15 00:19:31

Omg that sounds truly awful. You were treated appalingly. He had no right to be questioning you like that. Your husband was right for telling him that you were there for your ankle, not your epilepsy.
Epilepsy does not make you unfit! It is disgusting how someone in that profession could even think that, let alone voice it!

I would definitely complain. I can imagine you just want to forget about it all, but cant due to the worry of the doctors 'concerns'.
I think the nurse was right for you to inform your HV and GP. If these two have no concerns, then you shouldnt either. Even if childrens services come knocking - you are doing nothing wrong!

Please try and lot let this worry you. flowers

dodobookends Mon 16-Nov-15 00:19:36

flowers Poor you, this was a horrible thing to happen. No advice really, other than to take the advice of the kind nurse, and contact your surgery in the morning. Hopefully everything can be sorted out OK, and try not to worry.

OnTheEdgeToday Mon 16-Nov-15 00:19:49


Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:22:04

He was a jumped up little dick. He seems to think all I was for for with my " condition"( that's what he kept saying) was to sit at home all day not work, not have kids, not to out, not have a life.
I feel I should have done something more and demanded to see someone to make a complaint there and then but I just wanted to get out of there and I was worried Dh might lose his rag. I should have done more there and then shouldn't I?
BTW DH He has not usually got a temper at all but a doctor telling his wife she was basicly no good to be a mother - well if the boot has been on the other foot I may well have lost my rag.

lexigrey Mon 16-Nov-15 00:22:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:23:25

Sorry for typos but in a bit of a state

GiddyOnZackHunt Mon 16-Nov-15 00:23:44

Some junior doctors need to remember they're still learning. During pregnancy one said if she had the equipment she'd show me my rectal bleeding was just piles. I have Ulcerative Colitis hmm
Email PALS at the hospital tomorrow with your complaint. Once the junior doctor had been told your consultant was on board, he should have wound his neck in.

Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:27:04

I always get a twenty minute warning before I have a seizure and I told him this and it was in my notes. This gives me chance to make myself safe and my son safe.
The thing is lexigrey if my GP, health visitor, epilepsy specialist, and the tons of midwives and doctors I saw during my pregnancy had no concerns then why should he.

OnTheEdgeToday Mon 16-Nov-15 00:29:50

There is safeguarding, and then there is interrogation.

He could have said it was standard procedure...if it was. Instead, he waited until hubby left the room to begin questioning again. Then talking about it in the corridor...where is confidentiality which is just as important...

Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:30:22

Plenty of people successfully parent with epilepsy and not only that but many mothers have seizures without any warnings and medical professions do not bat an eyelid because there are so many things that can be put in place to minimise danger. Seizures on there own is no reason to doubt a persons parenting abilities.

Epilepsyhelp Mon 16-Nov-15 00:30:43

He should have shut up as soon as you told him it was all discussed with your specialist etc. I hate people who think they know so much better than everyone else, even those much higher in their own profession.

Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:32:04

My beautiful little boy puts his head on my tummy as I am coming round and calls them "mummy's funny sleeps".

lexigrey Mon 16-Nov-15 00:33:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugar21 Mon 16-Nov-15 00:34:23

How old is your ds ?

AnnekaRice Mon 16-Nov-15 00:34:57

tbh I wouldn't do anything about this - he sounds like a complete dick and what, so people with health conditions that they manage are what, not allowed to have children? how absurd. Don't take things personally though safeguarding must be done, etc etc. But you're clearly well supported and manage your condition. Unfortunately 'fall' automatically triggers 'seizure' alarm so it is important that you are able to keep you both safe. Nobody will give you any grief about this. I wouldn't personally bother with HV or GP - the doctor didn't handle the matter appropriately whereas the consultant (more or less) did.

OnTheEdgeToday Mon 16-Nov-15 00:35:31

That is just it. Those with epilepsy often know their triggers and/or have warnings before hand.

Your specialist obviously knows you know how to manage your epilepsy, just as much as you know. Hopefully this doctor will learn from this.
It has probably been so fresh and at the forefront of his mind that he is too busy trying to not miss any safeguarding issues, that he is acrually unintentionally jumping the gun.

AnnekaRice Mon 16-Nov-15 00:37:33

but if you are having fits, with only DS around - the what ifs are significant. If he's putting his head on your tummy as you're coming around, how long is he unattended for? what if you weren't okay? what if something happened to him? It is, just on those facts, highly worrying. But the way he handled it makes him sound arrogant and unprofessional.

AnnekaRice Mon 16-Nov-15 00:39:43

There will probably be no fallout. If there is, make sure you can clearly communicate your strategy for this, as agreed with your specialist. Nothing else to it. Also make sure you are still going to all required appointments etc. Try not to worry about it

OurBlanche Mon 16-Nov-15 00:44:46

OK. You will need to contact your GP or HV, just to note it in your records, that it has worried you.

Then contact PALS, you can find your local service here

They will listen and give you some good advice on what you can do, how to do it and where to get support in whatever actions you choose to take. They are also a good conduit between you and the service, so if you just want someone to listen and pass your experience forward to the dept involved they will.

Meanwhile remember, he was not fully qualified and is relatively inexperienced. He has a lot to learn... and he will. He will learn more quickly if he has to rethink some of his actions, so you will be helping him, if you complain properly. So don't shy away or be embarrassed, just recount what happened and how it made you feel. That is in itself a thing he needs to address.

Good luck xx

Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 16-Nov-15 00:45:58

DS is two. And I am never on my own with him when I have a seizure because I always have someone on standby to fly around and be with me. Because I get the 20 minute warning I can do this.
Also though lots of mums and dads who have epilepsy and do not get warnings do spend time with there kids on their own. A lot of people may think this is a risk but up to now I have never ever seen a report of a child having an accident while their parent has a seizure.

GorillaWar Mon 16-Nov-15 00:48:41

When you attend a&e the doctor there does not have access to all your notes. He would have had no idea who it had been discussed with or what normally happens when you have a seizure. So of course he has to ask a lot of detailed questions to make sure your son is ok. In fact every adult that has responsibility for a child gets asked a few questions in our local a&e - with more follow up ones if required.

So as lexi says don't be cross that he was doing his job. If he went about it in an unprofessional way then by all means let PALS know and they will help you.

GorillaWar Mon 16-Nov-15 00:50:07

Blanche, junior doctors are fully qualified doctors.

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