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To be more annoyed at my friends parenting technique then this situation?

(98 Posts)
itsthecircleoflife Sun 15-Nov-15 21:26:10

Took my 11 year oldngoddaughter out today to our local shopping centre. She needed the toilet- so took her. There was a large lady in there who was washing her hands and then applying some makeup etc.

Goddaughter was asking me why her legs were so fat, and made some pretty nasty comments I wont go into- but I was appaled by it and a bit shocked to say the least at the womans reaction.. She turned around and said "shut your mouth you litte c**t"

Now, im not condoning what the woman said. Not at all- 100% not. But some of the vile, derogatory comments that came from a 11 year old was atrocious. Im larger myself and very self conscience with it- I dont condone bullying in any form and it is what it is- regardless of the fact we are talking of an 11 year old and a woman who looked to be my age (late 20s)

I just think its very sad that this girl has been brought up to be as vacous as her mother is. They are a "nice" family in some ways, but I find this heartbreaking. Most people who are "larger" are treated with some distaste in that they will make snide comments about people they see etc.

I took her away from the situation straight away- and told her under no circumstances was she to speak like that in front of me again, and that what the lady said wasnt to be repeated.

As I said im gobsmacked about the reaction- but theres a tarnish to it

AIBU?

PhilPhilConnors Sun 15-Nov-15 21:29:12

YANBU.
IMO if more parents brought their children up to be accepting of differences the world would be a much better place.

TimeToMuskUp Sun 15-Nov-15 21:29:32

Just wow at all of this. Utter madness - that an adult would ever dream of speaking to another person's child that way, and that a child would dream of making such vile remarks about another person.

No idea what the AIBU even is; the whole thing is a huge mess. Did you tell your God daughter's Mum what went on? How did she react?

sooperdooper Sun 15-Nov-15 21:29:24

Well her reaction wouldn't have been necessary if your goddaughter hadn't been making such horrid comments, maybe it'll be a lesson to her

yogabird Sun 15-Nov-15 21:30:34

What a difficult situation. What did you say to the Goddaughter when she started making the comments?

AliceInUnderpants Sun 15-Nov-15 21:30:55

How did your goddaughter manage to say so much? She should have been told to keep her mouth closed after the first negative comment.

Eebahgum Sun 15-Nov-15 21:31:52

Yanbu. I think her mum needs to know the offensive comments she was making.

itsthecircleoflife Sun 15-Nov-15 21:32:11

I was preparing to get flame blasted for this. So thank you. I told her it wasnt polite, but she continued. It all only lasted for about 20 seconds.

Told her Mum and she didnt seem that bothered. Which didnt surprise me one bit, really hmm

BrandNewAndImproved Sun 15-Nov-15 21:32:34

I don't actually blame the lady reacting like that. I'm not sure how you can call your God daughter nice tbh.

hesterton Sun 15-Nov-15 21:33:27

11 years old is more than old enough for a NT child to know what opinions he or she shouldn't voice.

Very rude child. Not surprised that you were annoyed.

rainydaygrey Sun 15-Nov-15 21:33:48

I don't use 'cunt' as a term of abuse but other than that I think the woman's response was appropriate. Yes we would all like to think we should rise above it but the things your GDD was saying were really not
on.

Other than that I don't understand your AIBU, sorry.

rainydaygrey Sun 15-Nov-15 21:34:22

Sorry cross posted with your update.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 15-Nov-15 21:35:01

Don't take her out again.

She's 11, not 3. She should know what you do and don't say.

I think the woman's response was fine considering she'd just been subjected to an unprovoked tirade of abuse.

FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes Sun 15-Nov-15 21:36:52

Rainy shock how can you not use it as a term of abuse? It is the most socially unacceptable word there is!!

ijustwannadance Sun 15-Nov-15 21:37:16

I'm actually surprised an 11 year old would ask these questions. Surely by that age she should have an idea about how/why things are. Sounds like something a 5 year old would say.

TwoSmellyDogs Sun 15-Nov-15 21:37:43

This all sounds like a highly unlikely tale. But if it's not I'm Team Fat Lady.

Witchend Sun 15-Nov-15 21:38:45

I think she means she doesn't se it at all rather than she thinks it's an affectionate pet name.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 15-Nov-15 21:39:03

Nah. 'Cunt' is a descriptive word.

Unreasonablebetty Sun 15-Nov-15 21:39:21

I'm a large person...really quite hefty. I had some comments about four stone ago, but don't tend to get general rudeness, but even if I did I wouldn't react that way, and generally I over react!!
It's disgusting that she called a child a cunt!!
However the child sounds awful.... will you ever accompany her anywhere again? Adults often get judged by the way a child who is with them acts. Which is sad because you sound horrified by this child's attitude,

formerbabe Sun 15-Nov-15 21:40:07

How did your goddaughter react to the woman's comment?

SummerNights1986 Sun 15-Nov-15 21:40:26

I told her it wasnt polite, but she continued

No wonder, if your reprimand was as woolly as it sounds tbh.

Told her it wasn't polite? I know this wasn't your dd, but you were in charge of her at the time and it should have been nipped in the bud by you long before she hit the 20 second mark.

If I heard either of mine speaking like this to another person, they'd not see the light of day for a month.

usual Sun 15-Nov-15 21:40:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fyaral Sun 15-Nov-15 21:41:41

She sounds awful. I would have cussed out someone who spoke to me like that as well.

BrideOfWankenstein Sun 15-Nov-15 21:42:15

They both were behaving horribly.

I would probably say to the woman "If you wouldn't react the way you did, I would have made her apologise." And walked away.

And the girl would be going straight home with promise that until she will learn to behave in public, she will not be going out with me again.

In fact, how do you know the girl doesn't think the same way about you?

Brocklady Sun 15-Nov-15 21:43:27

I can well believe that an 11 year old would make comments like that. Some children are just really rude - there's a few at schools like that.

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