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To think my mil should keep it shut sometimes!

(55 Posts)
RantyMcRant Sun 15-Nov-15 11:17:25

Name change for this as dont wanna put myself.. But paranoid lol.
Basically, get on well with my mil. But it is clear that she thinks I am somehow freeloading of my Dh and taking advantage of him at times.
I am currently a SAHM but will be going back to work next year when my maternity leave finishes. Currently I am not earning as my stat maternity pay finished earlier this month.
Whenever my Dh and I go out she makes comments as though he pays for everything- he doesn't! I have saving but this is none of her business so I say nothing.
This morning I put up on fb that we are going out for breakfast (Dh idea) and she made a comment "how about you treat your man for once, bring him breakfast in bed". I think it was a lighthearted comment but it still made me silently seethe lol.
I am the one who does the nights with ds, most of the time, Dh is currently in bed while I keep ds entertained, feed him etc, yet she expects me to rush about making her precious son a yummy Sunday fry up in between.
She seems to think I am some
Sort of lady of leisure because I am not working at the moment, but I have my own money, obviously Dh and I just pull our finances together and his money is my money and vice versa but I do have savings in my own account- which the rent comes out of.
It's just pisses me off, needed a rant!!

RantyMcRant Sun 15-Nov-15 11:17:30

Out myself not put.

DoreenLethal Sun 15-Nov-15 11:19:21

I'd remove her as a friend after posting 'I do treat him - my childcare allows him to work full time. He is currently in bed whilst I am up looking after your grandson.'

waitingforgodot Sun 15-Nov-15 11:20:11

Mothers and their sons eh. She sounds like a total pain

TheoriginalLEM Sun 15-Nov-15 11:20:38

respond to that post with "1950 called and wants its values back"

or alternatively "fuck off you old bag" would suffice.

mintoil Sun 15-Nov-15 11:21:02

I would limit contact with her to be honest, she sounds like she expects you to be some kind of surrendered wife.

What is/was her relationship with FIL like?

How would DH react if you told her to butt out and stop being so offensive, she doesn't know what she's talking about?

Let me guess, he would say "You know what she's like?" Maybe he should have a word with her and tell her to back off?

GreatFuckability Sun 15-Nov-15 11:21:48

My reply would be 'i think he should treat me for being a fantastic mother to his son'.

hangingoutattheendofmywick Sun 15-Nov-15 11:21:55

Urgh. That would make me mad too.

TheOriginalWinkly Sun 15-Nov-15 11:22:34

Don't squabble on Facebook. Hide your posts from her. But YANBU, it's extremely bad manners to interfere in someone else's relationship or finances.

hangingoutattheendofmywick Sun 15-Nov-15 11:22:36

TheorginalLEM that's brilliant

RantyMcRant Sun 15-Nov-15 11:23:18

She was never married, Dh dad has never been on the scene, he has never met him.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 15-Nov-15 11:23:50

Gosh, if I said something like that to DIL, DS1 would rip my head off. And rightly so.

CaffeineBomb Sun 15-Nov-15 11:24:45

I would be furious! My response would be he is treating me for being up doing all the night feeds. If you want to come over and take LO for a couple of hours we will both have breakfast in bed

Pseudo341 Sun 15-Nov-15 11:25:19

That's not a lighthearted comment, that's passive aggressive, to respond in kind delete it and say nothing. I'd be distancing myself from this woman if possible.

RantyMcRant Sun 15-Nov-15 11:26:38

We get on well and she is a good gran to our ds, helped us out loads with clothes etc, but every now and again she just winds me up. I think I am a bit pfb and when she tells how to do things and how I should act it just annoys me.
Dh is a great husband/father btw he is not the issue. He works late at night so i don't grudge him a lie in, he would never suggest I make him
Brekkie etc he knows how busy I am looking after ds/the house.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 15-Nov-15 11:27:57

Tell her his treat is the blow job/anal ex/full BDSM experience he'll be getting later.

Passive aggressive is the way to go with these people.

JassyRadlett Sun 15-Nov-15 11:28:08

What is your DH's response to all this?

FelineLou Sun 15-Nov-15 11:28:57

Start asking her about her life when she had her children. It was not usual for both partners to work full time before property got so expensive.
If she did work ask her how her family were cared for as babies.
She may be angling for childcare role but with this show of disrespect I would avoid that.

Preciousxbane Sun 15-Nov-15 11:29:20

My FIL is staying next week and I haven't seen him since I stopped working last year. He is the type that may say something rude, I stopped working due to ill health. What he doesn't know is my financial position within the relationship which is no ones business but mine and DH. My income is still quite decent due to investments and my pension.

I intend being rude back if I'm honest because I have had 20 years of putting up with his bad manners.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 15-Nov-15 11:29:33

I'd put 'it's dh idea to give ourselves a treat since iv been doing the nights wakenings and let dh have a lie in this morning when dc woke at X time' - equally passive aggressive reponse

RantyMcRant Sun 15-Nov-15 11:31:29

KingJoffrey love it grin

I don't mention it to Dh i just get silently more and more annoyed lol hence the rant

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Sun 15-Nov-15 11:31:46

Dh needs to step in and tell her to stop.

NeuNewNouveau Sun 15-Nov-15 11:34:19

I would just put something 'lighthearted' like 'haha, believe me I do treat him regularly, not always in ways I'd want to put out in public though!!!!'

RantyMcRant Sun 15-Nov-15 11:35:52

Rubble that's along the lines of what I usually reply.
I genuinely think that she imagines I lie on the couch all day eating biscuits and watching TV while DH slaves away lol.
I admit I have got mad before and posted things intentionally to annoy her. Eg. "Nice lazy day today"
When in reality I am running about daft doing dishes, washings etc but it makes me feel slightly better and smug

laffymeal Sun 15-Nov-15 11:40:26

I like LEM's response. You could also try "what's the postcode in Stepford mil?"

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