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to remove all after-school activities until behaviour improves?

(9 Posts)
passion4pno Sun 15-Nov-15 11:00:27

My 8 and almost 12 year old have been quite naughty lately. Well, actually it's a long standing issue where they have no respect for us, b@ckchat even those they know not to and don't hed consiquences.
So I'd decided that all after school stuff like guides and youth group will stop until they sort out their respect issue.
Am I unreasonable in this?
I think not, but would like to know what you all think.

Enjolrass Sun 15-Nov-15 11:06:53

Yanbu in my opinion.

It's the equivalent of removing a play station. I also think kids don't appreciate how much of a faff after school clubs are for parents. Until it's pointed out.

Dd was under the impression I liked making sure all her kit was clean and ironed then packing her kit into the car, picking her up and sitting watching for 2 hours, 3 times a week.

She became more appreciative of me in general when she clocked how much effort I put into making sure she had everything.

Enjolrass Sun 15-Nov-15 11:07:20

That said, dds after school club is an individual sport. So she isn't letting anyone down if she doesn't go.

TheOriginalWinkly Sun 15-Nov-15 11:09:43

You wouldn't be unreasonable, but perhaps it would be a bit counterproductive? Guides, youth groups etc seem to encourage respect, team work, good behaviour, and you get them out from under your feet. If you cancel will it make them behave better, or will you just have bored resentful children at home?

redexpat Sun 15-Nov-15 11:10:49

YANBU but please inform the leaders so they hold her place.

redskybynight Sun 15-Nov-15 11:54:38

I think this is fine - but give a warning that this will happen first.
Please do tell the group leaders as a courtesy - it is extremely frustrating as a group leader when children just dip in and out as the mood takes them.

TimeToMuskUp Sun 15-Nov-15 12:03:20

I think I'd remove stuff like phones, tv time and screen time of any sort til they worked out how to earn them back.

This may not apply to all children but mine go to their groups and clubs for a bit of respite from one another, and for an escape. They never play up there, never behave badly or let themselves down anywhere but at home with us so for bad behaviour from DS1 (10) I wouldn't remove Cubs unless the bad behaviour took place there. I'd give consequences that affect time at home, and affect what they do at home instead. A little bit of boredom is good for them, and as PP's have said, it might make them a little more appreciative of how much you do for them.

passion4pno Sun 15-Nov-15 21:45:08

Thank you all. We have informed all leaders, as it's the right thing to do. It's almost the end of the year here so they have the whole sumer hols to shape it up ready for next year. Yes, the kids were warned that this would happen we sat them down and explained it all.

formerbabe Sun 15-Nov-15 21:47:28

I never cancel extra curricular activities as a punishment because I feel like the discipline, team work and exercise help rather than hinder good behaviour so I'd rather remove another privilege...like screen time.

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