DM has asked me to move in to her house to care for my elderly aunt (her sister) for 4 days in mid December whilst she and my DD are off to London for a holiday. My initial reaction was to say no and then she got majorly stroppy with me....and is now laying on the emotional blackmail...what are we here for if not to help each other out...etc. I have said I would think about it.
The background is that my parents live about 30 min drive from me, my aunt lives around the corner from them, NOT with them normally. She has dementia but manages with carers coming in at meal times. She now has some major problems with her flat so is having to move in with them whilst work is done. No one seems to know how long this work will take but it's looking likely to take a while and therefore affect my parents holiday. My DM will not allow my aunt to stay in their house unattended( I can see her point) so wants me to be there when they are away. I have my own house to run and teenage DS to organise (DH can organise himself) as well as many other things I usually do, plus all the extra stuff that has to be done 2 weeks before Christmas. DM is expecting me to drop all of this as I "don't have a job". I think she was genuinely shocked when I didn't immediately say yes, and I think her assumption that I don't have lots of stuff to do and I would just happily agree is what has upset me the most.
After my initial reaction she has asked if respite care would be a possibility, but is pressuring me to say whether I would be willing to step in if there is no respite available, because she and my Dad need to know asap so they can book exhibitions etc when they are in London, otherwise "it wont be worth going".
I am now feeling guilty for not immediately just saying yes, and am wondering if I am being totally unreasonable for ever considering saying no. FWIW I will most probably end up saying yes, people pleaser that I am, but just trying to process why I'm feeling so aggrieved by this.
[As an aside this is not a longed for holiday...it was booked fairly recently and my parents have already been on 2 holidays since this September and have 2 luxury cruises booked for next year.]
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48 replies
justdontknow15 · 13/11/2015 14:22
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