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WIBU to get upset about change of plans?

(6 Posts)
TheMagicWhip Thu 12-Nov-15 13:10:16

My partner and I have been together for 8 months, but we’ve know each other for many years. We don’t live together yet, but spend most nights together either at his place or mine. I’m South London, him North.
We’re going to a wedding this weekend and have both taken Friday off work to travel and spend Friday night at a hotel close to the venue. We had arranged that he would stay at mine tonight (Thursday) and I’d planned to cook.

He came over last night to stay too, and announced he’d been offered a ticket to a gig close to his flat on Thursday night. I do not have any problem with him going to the gig at all, but asked straightaway if he intended to come back to mine afterwards as we’d planned. He said he would. About an hour later he said he thought it would be easier for him to go home to his own place after the gig.

I felt upset about it, after he’d said he would come back, only to then change his mind. We didn’t have a massive row about it, but I felt very torn between trying not to let him know I was upset about it and telling him truthfully that I was really. So I told the truth and got told I was being silly and that we were going to being spending the whole weekend together, so why did it matter? I started to feel like I was stupid for being so bothered, but on the other hand, somehow rejected.

I suppose if it was reversed, I would’ve definitely made sure I went back to be with him. AIBU to have expected him to do the same?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 12-Nov-15 13:11:28

I think YABU. It's no biggie.

Wtfmummy Thu 12-Nov-15 13:15:14

Sorry, YABU in my opinion. Try not to overthink it, you're spending the whole weekend together, he's just having a night off. Do something nice for you tonight or head out with friends.

MyNewBearTotoro Thu 12-Nov-15 13:17:52

Where was the gig and what time did it finish? If it finished early in the evening (eg: 7/8pm) so that he could still eat with you and was near to your flat I see why you might be upset.

If however it wasn't going to finish until late (so too late to eat together) and/ or was much nearer to his house I can see why he decided to just head home.

Would be different if you only saw each other once/ twice a week but if you spend most nights at each other's houses I assume him staying and you cooking wasn't a particularly special or unusual arrangement? Obviously if for some reason it was a special arrangement you'd been planning for a long time then you have more reason to be upset but otherwise I would just let it go. As he says you have all weekend together.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 12-Nov-15 13:19:17

Well....YABU, I think. He spent last night with you instead of tonight, and you're going for a weekend away tomorrow.

It makes no sense for him to go to a gig near to his house and then travel across London to get back to yours, when you'll probably be asleep anyway.

Just make firm plans of where and when to meet tomorrow.

TheMagicWhip Thu 12-Nov-15 13:20:33

Yes, I suspected as much... Hey ho!
I DID apologise for getting upset but thought I'd canvas opinion.

Fully prepared to have it confirmed IWBU.

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