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To be thoroughly fed up of this situation

(66 Posts)
Runningoutofnamesagain Wed 11-Nov-15 18:06:00

Ds1 is in yr4

Since reception he has had problems with a child in his class. At first I told him to keep away but he kept getting hurt.

I wrote in and nothing changed. Ds says that he tried to keep away but that this boy follows him
We've had incidents of strangling, pulling trousers and pants down, hitting, pushing and stamping.
The school do try and deal with it each time and we've had a couple of apology letters from him

I wrote in last year to ask that ds not be placed in a class with this child when they mixed the year up but he was ! Apparently the teacher forgot and then it was too late

Ds has come home today covered in mud and with scratches all over his stomach and unhappy. He was pushed over then dragged by his legs across the field sad

I've had enough. There have been other children hurt by the same child and I really really don't think the school are doing enough.
Ds has other health problems and if this carries on I'm worried he will be seriously hurt sad

Mysteryfla Wed 11-Nov-15 18:07:54

Call the police non emergency line.

Sirzy Wed 11-Nov-15 18:08:19

You need to go in and explain your concerns to the staff and ask them what they are doing to safeguard your child.

Runningoutofnamesagain Wed 11-Nov-15 18:09:57

It happened at lunchtime and I'm not sure why I wasn't contacted actually
Ds just pulled his top up when we got in to show me the scratches then got upset and said what happened

I will be going in to school first thing

Sirzy Wed 11-Nov-15 18:14:14

If it happened at lunchtime did he tell anyone?

Runningoutofnamesagain Wed 11-Nov-15 18:16:18

Yes he was taken to the medical room and had to be showered down as was so covered in mud (his trousers were awful)
He had the scratches washed and the teachers asked him to say exactly what had happened

I think they should have called. With the strangling incident I wasn't told till after school (they sent the other child home on that occasion)

pinkyredrose Wed 11-Nov-15 18:16:24

Police? Are you mad ??

slicedfinger Wed 11-Nov-15 18:16:51

I'd suggest photographing the scratches, and calling for s meeting with the head in the morning. Have a thorough read of the anti bullying policy, which should be on the website, before you go. Emphasise it is about ensuring your DSs safety, when they were already aware of an issue.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AspieUnicorn Wed 11-Nov-15 18:19:51

This isn't good enough on the part of the school. If I were you I would write a letter to the head explaining why your son needs to be moved to another class. Written correspondence cannot be ignored. You son has the right to feel safe at school.

AlwaysHope1 Wed 11-Nov-15 18:20:17

You should definitely go to school and insist he be changed classes at least. What a horrible, nasty child. Your poor ds, go in and complain until something is done.

ShamefulPlaceMarker Wed 11-Nov-15 18:20:30

I'd be pulling my son out of the school tbh. I know it's unfair, as it should be the other child who goes. But it doesn't seem like that will ever happen.

ImperialBlether Wed 11-Nov-15 18:20:52

I'm really shocked that this boy has been strangling others. I've never heard of a child doing that to another child. I'd want an urgent appointment with the headteacher and wouldn't send my son to school until he/she took action.

expatinscotland Wed 11-Nov-15 18:20:56

'Police? Are you mad ??'

Because the kid was assaulted on public property. And the school has done FA about it for years. This will get their attention. One girl in Fife had to sue the fucking council before they took action against a girl had bullied her, resulting in the girl being thrown down stairs and breaking an arm in several places.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueBananas Wed 11-Nov-15 18:21:46

I'd be at the heads office first thing in the morning, make it clear that they are failing to keep your child safe in their care and if something wasn't done you would be taking this higher up
I would absolutely demand that the boy was moved out of the class if there is another he could be placed in, but then I wouldn't have accepted that they 'forgot' as an excuse - why didn't you push it further then??
I'd also probably want a meeting with the other boys parents too to make sure they are aware of the situation and to ask what they plan on doing about it

Narp Wed 11-Nov-15 18:23:43

police? really?

From what you say, this has been poorly dealt with, OP, so you need to arm yourself with information about the school's anti-bullying policy - should be available online or from school office. Then insist they follow it. In our school, all accusations of bullying are investigated by the Head Teacher.

And yes, if there was a physical injury of this magnitude they should have called you.

Runningoutofnamesagain Wed 11-Nov-15 18:28:44

I will be going in first thing tomorrow morning

Ds is very unhappy, it's been going on for years and he says he tries to keep away but like today he's chased and followed then gets hurt

Two years ago I had to go in as the same child had pushed ds face down into the mud and grass and ds came home sobbing as he said he couldn't breathe when it was done
The school just don't seem to deal with it thoroughly.

MrsUltra Wed 11-Nov-15 18:30:46

Police yes.
I needs to be investigated.
This is assault.

SolidGoldBrass Wed 11-Nov-15 18:33:22

It's possible the bully has some form of SEN (which does not excuse bullying but is sometimes the reason why schools wring their hands and do fuck all about it.)

Speak to the Head, and then write a letter to the Chair of Governors - deliver it to the school office. The Chair's name will be on the school website. The Head and staff are answerable to the Governors who will (unless they are useless) help you get the matter sorted out.

Narp Wed 11-Nov-15 18:38:06

SGB

Yes, you may be right.

If this is the case, failure to address it is unfair on the SEN kid as well

tiggytape Wed 11-Nov-15 18:38:19

Police involvement can be an option in cases of physical bullying (and other criminal acts) even within a school but it wouldn't apply here as the child must be below the age of criminal responsibility in Year 4 i.e. he is not yet 10.

Parents do sometimes have to resort to police involvement where a child is being hurt and is in physical danger at school so it isn't as mad a suggestion as some might think - just not an option here.

However being below 10 doesn't mean this boy should be allowed to beat up other children. The advice to put everything in writing and document every incident is a good one. If you have to go above the Head to the Governors, they will want proof beyond 'it happens all the time.' You need times, dates, school response (or lack of), whether you were informed and record of injuries for every single event and every conversation and letter to the school going back and forth.

Send evidence of today's incident to the Head in writing tomorrow and say you have now reached a point where you do not have confidence that your child can be kept safe and you want immediate action to be taken to ensure his safety at school. Hopefully making it formal and keeping it very official will mean they cannot simply keep brushing it off (they may be doing more than you know behind the scenes but it obviously isn't enough).

Idefix Wed 11-Nov-15 18:40:19

How awful for your ds and you op. I think you need to first address the problem with the school management. You need to be thinking in terms of duty of care and safe guarding and your child having a right to feel safe. I would ask about there complaint policy and definitely take some pictures.

We were in your position when ds was in yr 5. On three occasions he had been strangled by the same child, witnessed and intervened different members of staff. We were only told on one occasion because it had left a blood blister on his neck. There incidence and each time the school said the matter had been dealt with. Things escalated and ds was attached by this child and a younger cousin in a play park just outside the school. We went to the police and the matter was dealt with very promptly. The older child was aged 10 so they were able to pursue the issue and he was given a warning. More importantly for the child was placed in another school that had a specialist behaviour unit.

Sadly I think the school would have continued bumbling along thinking they were dealing with it. This incident had a significant impact on my ds confidence and self-esteem, I will never forget how he was immediately after this or the trainer imprints on ds thighs and back.

Op be strong and insist that this is dealt with.

usualmum Wed 11-Nov-15 18:42:00

I have every sympathy.
My ds went through a similar situation (including strangling, spitting etc). The bullying continued for nearly 2 years (mountains of intervention but no real resolution).

Eventually after a particular incident I called an emergency meeting with the head of the board of governers and the head teacher.
(You have to lodge a formal complaint and then ask for the meeting.) At this meeting further safeguards were given and I made it clear that if my son was attacked I would take it further.
Two weeks later because of another unrelated incident (violence to another child), the 'bullying' child was moved to another school by the school management.
It was because of this type of behaviour that he was initially moved to our school from a previous school and now moved on to another school.
Not actually resolving the problem but passing it on. Not ideal but the best that I could expect.

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