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To be countin down the weeks until my 2yo DS goes to school?

(47 Posts)
BasinHaircut Wed 11-Nov-15 14:13:23

DS is my first and only child.

I love him dearly, love spending time with him and would not be without him. I miss him when he isn't with me.

HOWEVER, before DS I used to have my shit together. Meals were planned, there was always adequate toilet roll and a spare toothpaste in the cupboard. My house was regularly (if not regimentally) cleaned. And it was organised. Paperwork filed and odd jobs got done in a resonable amount of time.

I am no longer able to do any of this it appears, and the lack of organisation in my life is driving me mad. I don't have the time or the energy, and there is so much chaos that I wouldnt know where to start.

I work part time and am clinging to the fact that when DS turns 4 (August baby) he will go to school, and 2 days per week I will have the entire school day to do chores/admin/run errands/odd bits of DIY etc.

Am I sad? Or mean for wishing DS's life away. I feel so guilty!

HackerFucker22 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:17:47

Sorry I'm confused. Is your DS aged 2 or 4?

Is he going to school or nursery?

HackerFucker22 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:18:52

Or are you counting down the next 2 years until he goes to school?

HackerFucker22 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:20:50

Are you on your own?

Sounds like you are struggling to cope. I worked FT before having DC2 and my life was a steam of lists.... I also set my alarm for an hour before DC1 would wake so I could do stuff in the morning before having to get us both ready. This was with a hands on DP.

TimeToMuskUp Wed 11-Nov-15 14:22:26

Neither, parenting is just bloody exhausting. And nobody really tells you the truth about that pre-DC. It's relentless and sometimes mind-crushingly boring and other times soul-destroyingly embarrassing.

It's not BU at all to want some time to get your shit together. And it's also not BU to ask for a little help. Until very recently I held everything together, studying, working, owning two idiotic children, an asshat spaniel and a DH who worked away often. I gave up and got a cleaner and asked MIL for some extra help in September of this year and my life is at least 57,000 times better. I come home from work to a clean, tidy house. Beds get changed as if by magic. The weetabix fingers up my windowsill yesterday morning were gone by the time we got home. MIL pops dinners in the oven for our return occasionally. It is the loveliest feeling ever to finish work on a friday lunchtime and know I don't have to iron 47 pen-covered school tshirts.

Seriously, ask for help from those who offer. Lean on people you can rely on. Nobody ever got an award for keeping their shit together without support (though, personally I believe that if I were Queen of England I'd knight every single Mum and Dad who manage not to go batshit by the time their DCs get to 18).

shutupanddance Wed 11-Nov-15 14:23:51

Bully for you Hacker

I don't think your mean at all? I take it ds is in childcare only when you work? Could he do half a day extra?

Do try and enjoy him while hes a tinyflowers

BasinHaircut Wed 11-Nov-15 14:25:00

He is 2. I'm counting down the next 2 years!

No I'm not on my own, and DH does his share of day to day stuff, but he is a lot more easy going than me and so doesn't see the need for meal plans and lists, he would wing it left to his own devices.

DS goes daycare while I'm at work but at the moment he is with me on my non-working days and is 'spirited' so I get little done when he is awake, I'm knackered by the time he is in bed.

shutupanddance Wed 11-Nov-15 14:27:09

Fist pump op. My crazy very mearly 3 year old is being a member of the SAS, sadly I'm the moutain.hmm

BasinHaircut Wed 11-Nov-15 14:28:45

BTW this is half light-hearted. But I do wish I could get my shit together. I yearn for pre-DS weekends when I could just not make any plans and just cook, and clean, and get shit done.

Etak15 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:28:55

I'm feeling like that today, I've got dd2 off school ill, dd3 who has been to nursery this morning is now knackered but won't have a nap, who is arguing and fighting with dd2 who is defo going to school tomorrow! and ds 11 months who is also tired but wants to join in with his sisters. Managed the housework in this chaos but I need to go food shopping and just can't face it with this lot! Feels like a wasted day and I know it's going to be a right palavor soon when we have to go and pick dd1 up from school because they will all fall asleep on the way when I don't want them too! And parents eve and after school activities too!
Sorry I've highjacked your thread, feel better for getting all that out!

BasinHaircut Wed 11-Nov-15 14:31:38

etak you are a hero! I've only got 1 and I can't manage much housework.

Battleshiphips2 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:36:18

That's terrible! Your poor ds how dare you want some time alone to get on with house chores etc. you should be Ashamed of yourself wink Having kids is hard work. I didn't even work before ds went to school and still found it hard! I adore my ds but that time when he is at school is great. I can do my housework and I do all the admin for my DH business so I get all that done. I even have time to have a cup of coffee in peace, go to the toilet in peace and prepare lovely meals for them both. I also do all the shopping so it's not cutting into my DHs free time as he works so hard. My ds is 8 and I'm currently pg with my 2nd. I'm wondering how I'm going to get everything done!!

Etak15 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:42:23

Ha, bet there are people on here with more! I'm looking forward to dd3 going to school in sept will feel like less going in and out all day but I think I won't be as ready for when ds goes because he's my last baby!! ( that's what I keep telling myself anyway! ) I'm looking forward to going back to work next month 2 days a week to escape!

Battleshiphips2 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:45:26

etak I've had to lie down just reading about your day! My mum made raising 8 kids look effortless. I'm knackered with just the 1 at the minute.

HaydeeofMonteCristo Wed 11-Nov-15 14:45:43

My shit is not together. But in all honesty it never was.

The thing with having kids is that make you need to have your shit together.

When I old my shit will be joyfully not together.

(Ps I love having dcs at home. But quite enjoyed the happy disorganisation re meals, shopping etx that went before)

KondosSecretJunkRoom Wed 11-Nov-15 14:47:10

I have 3dc, 8, 6 and 20 mo... I have been stuck in the house with sick kids, one dropping just after the other with d&v, washing a man mountain of shitty vomitty laundry for 10 days. I am simultaneously counting down the hours till dh comes home, the days until I shake off the kids for a few hours on the weekend and the months till ds3 starts nursery and I can get us all PROPERLY organised and tidy, so I'll join you on the bad mum bench with my calendar.

likeaboss Wed 11-Nov-15 15:36:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laffymeal Wed 11-Nov-15 15:53:36

I used to get really uptight about the housework. My DCs are 14 and 18 now and I see less and less of them (just as it should be...they are both living their lives to the full and I'm very happy for them). My house could be gleaming now but I find I can no longer be arsed. I wish I had cared much less about it when they were younger and just enjoyed them more.

PeanutButterLips Wed 11-Nov-15 16:30:58

I only have the one child but when he was a toddler I could still get on with things that needed doing confused
House was clean, could still go out to see friends and family he came along with me and was more than happy.
I too used to work
I would understand if you had a few more kids but it's not really too hard with just the one
At that age they still have naps in the day so can get things done in that time and my boy wasn't left alone while I did things, he would follow me around haha
I think you just have to accept now you have a child things won't go back to pre-baby days and please enjoy him being this young.
I miss the toddler days sad

Littlef00t Wed 11-Nov-15 18:38:33

Could your DH not take him for a couple of hours every other week on a Saturday and you blitz the house or catch up on paperwork?

Do you work long hours?

Leavingsosoon Wed 11-Nov-15 18:47:47

Winging it means you fly.

Try it.

smile

Artandco Wed 11-Nov-15 18:51:23

How much stuff do you need to do? Sorry some things I don't get, running out of stuff etc, just start an online delivery so you can add onto order whilst kids are in the bath or something and you have nothing to do but watch they don't drown!

Does he not play alone at all?

Things like cooking do with children. Or set them up with an activity before. Mine would often play play dough at table near me so I could cook and keep and eye on them.

Things are needed to be done different maybe but not that hard surely?

formerbabe Wed 11-Nov-15 18:54:38

I know what you mean op. Both my dc are now in school and life is so much easier. I actually have time to do stuff!

All I ever heard was other mums saying how sad they were when their children started school...I was joyous when both mine started!

BasinHaircut Wed 11-Nov-15 18:58:49

peanut I think your child came from a different batch to mine. My DS does not happily just go along with whatever I am doing hmm

PeanutButterLips Wed 11-Nov-15 20:10:07

Well I'm his mum I make the rules wink

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