To be a bit irritated with this?(6 Posts)
Im working temporarily as a student music teacher, it's quite casual but involves me working a few days a work for a couple of hours or so.
My friend has recently gone through a break-up and wants us to spend lots of time together (totally fair enough) despite the fact we live about a few hours away from each other.
We are seeing each other in a couple of weekends time. She also has a train ticket to a city we both know well to use up and has just assumed I'll be going there with her straight after. She had found £50 tickets to an event in the city (which in fairness looks really good) and messaged me with the details. The dates are right after the weekend we're seeing other (so we'd see each other anyway if that makes sense) plus during my tutoring hours.
I made some noises about how good it looked but haven't committed yet. She has now sent a message saying she will get our mutual friend to book tickets!
I can afford the tickets but only just, they're basically two-thirds of my weekly salary. Also i have to really carefully manage my time in order to get to work on time.
Anyone sometimes feel a bit like their friends are great at organising stuff when the friend is a bit bored but don't really check whether it's ok with you first?! When she was working a lot a few months back I wold never have booked an event and just told her we were going?!
I would message her back and tell her that you can't really afford it and that it is during your tutoring hours so unfortunately, you won't be able to make it.
I would also tell her that she needs to check with you before arranging anything else as you need to fit things around your work.
YABU; she sent you info about the event and that was your opportunity to say you couldn't afford to go instead of making noises about how good it looked. Don't think you should expect her to read your mind.
Fair point shoxford, I do know it's not her fault btw! I'm bad at sometimes saying how I really feel, just having a rant - not blaming friend at all
Yabu and a bit strange.
When she assumed you would be going to the city she has train tickets for that was your opportunity to say 'I can't come'.
When she sent you details of the event and prices of tickets that was your opportunity to reiterate that you couldn't attend but obviously it looked great and you hope she has a great time.
When she texts you saying she'll get friend to book tickets you should have just texted straight back and said 'think there has been a misunderstanding I can't come so please don't book a ticket for me'.
She was wrong to assume of course but you've allowed her to continue on with assumption.
Cool, I think we all do this sometimes, but I've learnt to be more straightforward about things like this as otherwise you're just annoying yourself and other people by not simply saying you can't afford it. As this sounds like a good friend, I'm sure she won't think less of you by being honest about the situation.
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