DP and I have great times and then we descend into petty squabbles which result in us not talking for days - him in an endless sulk and me questioning our entire relationship.
IMO these usually result from him deliberately taking something I've said the wrong way, kicking up a massive OTT stink about it and then refusing to let it drop. Ive recently realized he does this when he's been spoiling for a fight anyway and I've added a tiny spark to his fuse.
Anyway - recently we've been good. Making wedding plans, making holiday plans, sorting finances - all has been well.
Until - last weekend. I've decided to stop getting drunk every friday and saturday night just because it's weekend. He has continued to drink.
Friday night I got in from work at 8pm and he'd had a drink - he started with his sarcasm, his snappy comments, his intentions to be offended at whatever I said ... I put it down to the fact that he was drinking and I wasn't.
Since then though he's changed although he denies it. He's not wanting to talk to me, being sarcastic constantly and basically just not been very nice to be around. Last night was awful. I got home from work at 8pm (from 7am!). He'd also been at work but finished at 4.30pm. We both work full time, we're both tired - I get that. But his mouth ...
He had said he'd like to watch a specific program with me. It was getting on for 10pm and he was still faffing about with some papers that need signing and sorting on Friday. So I said "are we going to put this program on? it's getting late and I'll be going to bed soon". Well - this opened up a tirade of tantruming "right! thats it! you sort those papers out then!! do it now because I'm tired and will be going to bed soon! have you done it yet?? I would have done it earlier but I've been busy sorting out YOUR kids - you wouldn't know because you wern't here! You wouldn't understand because you're not used to looking after someone elses kids - "
Anyway he continued making references to the fact that I "wasn't here" although if ever I suggest cutting my hours down he goes mad and says its not an option as we need the money and why should he have to work full time to support everyone etc etc etc - I can't win.
And then the constant references to my kids - they're 14 and 16 - all he did was stick a bleeding pizza in the oven!!
Anyway he went on to say that I don't pull my weight. On my day off on Tuesday I did two lots of washing, cleaned two bathrooms, sorted the week's shopping, organised a christmas meal out for his and my parents to meet, organised the wedding cake and did a load of research into our holiday plans. Oh and I wrapped some Christmas presents for HIS KIDS.
He doesn't work weekends so what does he do on HIS day off? stays in bed until 11am, gets up, plays on the computer and then watches movies with his son as he 'needs to spend time with him'. Shame I never get time to do that eh.
AIBU?
To be really irritated with DP's apparant decision to 'turn on me' again this week?
SlimmersWorldHero · 11/11/2015 11:19
Dear god. You're planning to tether yourself to him and his temper tantrums and laziness for the rest of your life. Sounds hideous. You know he'll stop making what little effort he makes now once you've got the ring on, right? And your children, seeing that as an example and living with someone who appears to resent them. Fun and games for everyone 
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