I want a memory foam mattress, Dh dosnt. Who gets to decide?

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

Or is there a compromise?

We currently have a memory foam mattress which I love. We've had it for about ten years and it was expensive, about 1k.

Ive always loved it. Dh thought it was ok in the shop but after we'd had it a few nights he started moaning a bit about it. Reckons it's uncomfy and cold.

He then stopped moaning as I ignored him. He's started up again, he reckons the mattress is a big saggy. I dont think it saggy. However it is old'ish, maybe it's time we replaced it.

But I would want another memory foam mattress and he's adament that he doesn't want one.

Ive previously broken my back and have disc problems. This mattress has made all the difference to my back and the memory foam was the reason for buying it to see if I would be pain free and it worked nearly instantly.

I'm sure I could find a non memory foam mattress which feels comfy enough in the shop when testing it. But I know over time that without the support which I get from a memory foam that my back will get worse. Aibu if I refuse to get a non memory foam mattress?

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

I clicked on the thread thinking "if anyone has a back problem they get to decide"

Why can't you get two single mattresses in a base and then you can each get the one you want?

And separate duvets. Saves marriages IME

[SwedishEdith]

I'm sure you can get 50/50 mattresses that fit together. I remember seeing an advert with a hippo and a something small and light . God knows how much they are but I'm sure it's doable.

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

Sorry that should say why don't you not why can't you - it sounded a little bossy :)

[HaydeeofMonteCristo]

Yanbu unless he has a similarly serious medical condition that a memory foam mattress makes worse.

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

These guys are really helpful btw, they don't just do mobility beds

www.laybrook.com

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

I didn't know about half and half mattresses. Will look into that, thanks.

No, he doesn't have any medical problems.

[peckforton]

Ikea beds take two mattresses so you can pick and choose.
I find memory foam very warm since we had memory foam mattresses we haven't had to use the electric blankets.

[SwedishEdith]

A memory foam pillow gave me excruciating neck pain so, on that basis, I think he does get a say.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

You need a bed like this.

[Thebookswereherfriends]

I wish my DP and I had gone down the route of separate mattresses on the same base as we bought a memory foam mattress (we both have back problems) and while it seemed fine during the trial period I can no longer sleep on it and we have ended up sleeping in separate rooms. It's fine, but I do miss the little chit chat before going to sleep.

[MamaDuckling]

Consider a pocket sprung mattress with a decent layer of memory foam on top? My favourite mattress was a Relyon one, it had a built in layer of memory foam on top (not a separate topper), and for me it offered the best of both worlds. Didn't feel too sunk in it, nor did it get hot/sweaty in warmer months. I'll look up the name...

[munkisocks]

I went to Ikea and sat on them all until we found one we liked. 3 years on it's still brilliant. Memory foam one too

[MamaDuckling]

www.relyon.co.uk/Memory/memory-collection.html

[SerenityReynolds]

I agree that while you seem to need the mattress for your back, some people do not find them comfortable at all, so it's hardly fair to just expect your husband to just lump it (no pun intended). The suggestions above of 2 single mattresses is probably the best compromise if you don't want to consider separate beds.

[Bodicea]

We bought an expensive memory foam. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't sleep a wink in it. I sweated up unbelievably. After a few weeks it was me or the mattress. It had to go! You can't force a mattress on someone if they hate it.
Either get a 50/50, a memory foam topper on a pocket sprung mattress if he is ok with that or separate beds.

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

Mmm, if we have two single mattress what size base would we need?

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

mamaduckling do you sink in enough with that one so that the mattress moulds into the small of your back?? That's what I need. I don't get that with non memory foam mattresses, not sure if a topper would do it?

[DorotheaHomeAlone]

How about a single bed sized memory foam topper on your side? Two singles is normally a super king size but I'm not sure you can get them half memory foam. They're generally a firm and a medium zipped together for couples with a big weight difference.

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

We can't fit a super king in our bedroom so two single mattresses aren't any good.

I can't find any mattresses which are half memory foam, half sprung.

I'm not sure a memory foam topper will be supportive enough.

[Seeyounearertime]

I feel sorry for OPs OH, 10 years on a mattress he finds uncomfortable?
That's torturous. I hate my mattress, my OH loves it. I wake up in pain every night and haven't slept well since we've had it. OH wakes up well rested and fine.
Then moans when I'm falling asleep at 6pm. Lmao.

[selly24]

Some of the higher end manufacturers can made a double/ kingvand tailor each side to each person. Eg somnus?

[FeelsLikeHome123]

When I went shopping for a new mattress, my dh wasn't with me. In one shop, the male shop assistant used to lie next to me in each bed and bounce to see if I could it was firm enough

[MamaDuckling]

Yep. I wanted it because my ex was a huge rugby player, any move he made in his sleep sent ripples across the bed, but not with the Relyon one. It's not just a topper, more a good few inches, built in so it doesn't move around.

Only way to tell is to go and try it though... They must have stockists nationally.

[peckforton]

Our bed from Ikea with two mattreses is not a super king as we had one before and it was far too big for our bedroom. You can look at ikea mattresses on line then go in and try and get delivered either from the shop or online.

[AngelicCurls]

IKEA do a pocket sprung with memory foam on top so if you wanted to check the support you could try them out there. They also do feather toppers but might do memory foam ones as well?