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Who is being unreasonable here, me or ds?

(40 Posts)
JuanPotatoTwo Tue 10-Nov-15 18:55:33

We've argued ourselves out so turning to mn!

Ds (18) rang me this afternoon and asked for a lift home from the train station. I said no as I was in the middle of making some phone calls.

I finished the calls much quicker than expected, so rang him back and asked if he still wanted a lift. He said yes, and told me where he was. He was less than half a mile away from home.

I went to fetch him as I had to go out somewhere else afterwards and thought I might as well. I wasn't very happy though and told him he should've walked.

He said that since I asked if he wanted a lift, he said yes - because he did (want one). I said that when I asked him if he wanted one he should've said "no thanks, I'm nearly home now".

Which one of us is being unreasonable? I have a sneaky suspicion it might be me as a) I shouldn’t have offered a lift, and b) having done so, I shouldn't have moaned at him.

CatMilkMan Tue 10-Nov-15 18:57:44

I think you hit the nail on the head with the last paragraph, it would have been nice if he told you not to bother since he was nearly home but if he was walking it probably seemed really nice of you to offer.

Geekmama Tue 10-Nov-15 19:00:05

Sorry.... but you are.

JuanPotatoTwo Tue 10-Nov-15 19:00:21

Yes I fear you're right CatMilkMan. I may have to eat humble pie.

JuanPotatoTwo Tue 10-Nov-15 19:01:06

And you Geek. I have a feeling this might be pretty unanimous ...

Duckdeamon Tue 10-Nov-15 19:01:55


Babbafish Tue 10-Nov-15 19:02:24

You could have just picked him up from the station and made the calls later!!!!

BertPuttocks Tue 10-Nov-15 19:03:11

You were unreasonable.

You shouldn't have offered a lift if you were just going to complain about it when he accepted.

Pico2 Tue 10-Nov-15 19:04:16

You. If you have a minimum distance for lifts then you need to check location and then offer.

multivac Tue 10-Nov-15 19:05:42

You know it's you....

JuanPotatoTwo Tue 10-Nov-15 19:06:29

No Babba, I'd spoken to someone and they were ringing me back after finding out something. But, it doesn't matter -I think I was bu anyway.

Does it help my case if I tell you all that the station is only just over a mile away anyway?<hopeful>

Iguessyourestuckwithme Tue 10-Nov-15 19:07:31


The local train station to my mothers is 0.7 miles and I don't ask for a lift but she often offers - however it is a difference of a 15 minute walk or a 4 minute car ride [there and back]

spritefairy Tue 10-Nov-15 20:29:59

Why offer then moan about it??

Sorry op you are unreasonable this time

P90X3 Tue 10-Nov-15 20:49:43

Wow, you phoned him back and offered him a lift. He had already accepted that you had said no and started walking. Did you expect him to still be at the train station, just waiting in case you called him? He would have thought that you had guessed he was walking, after telling him no - how confusing for the poor guy; offering him a lift and then telling him off for accepting - YABU

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 10-Nov-15 20:52:14

Yup. You. At least you acknowledged it before you even finished your initial post though grin

BeanGirls Tue 10-Nov-15 20:57:36

Yabu soz

PuntasticUsername Tue 10-Nov-15 20:58:14

So this is like when DH comes in while I'm cooking dinner and says "Do you need me to do anything or can I sit down?" and I say "Actually, the dishwasher needs emptying" and I get a dirty look because I was supposed to say "No, you must sit down and rest, my darling".

If you don't mean it, don't offer. If you offer, I'm going to assume you mean it...

peckforton Tue 10-Nov-15 21:04:27

I have done this for years after sending our kids to a school a train ride away. I use the time to chat, now they are at university I miss picking them up sad they loved being picked up halfway home after a day at school.

Enjolrass Wed 11-Nov-15 07:13:08

Yeah Yabu, but you know it so there isn't much to add.

Although I am confused as to why you had an argument and asked here if you knew you were.

TheBunnyOfDoom Wed 11-Nov-15 07:15:23

Yeah, YABU. Don't offer then moan about it!

JuanPotatoTwo Wed 11-Nov-15 09:12:17

So would I be right in thinking I was bu?


AnUtterIdiot Wed 11-Nov-15 09:17:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GruntledOne Wed 11-Nov-15 09:21:05

So have you now told ds that he's won the argument?

MrsGentlyBenevolent Wed 11-Nov-15 09:22:20

Certainly you can't moan after offering - however at that age I would have been adult enough to say 'actaully, I'm nearly home now don't worry about it'. Unless the weather your are was horrible (walking half a mile through heavy wind and rain is not the same as a bit of a breeze and drizzle obviously, I think the former wouldn't be unreasonable).

Suggesting you should have 'left the phonecalls for later' to pick up your adult son though, that's equally unreasonable!

scribblegirl Wed 11-Nov-15 09:25:06

You are far too cool with being U, OP - I call reverse grin

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