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'Good girl'

(58 Posts)
BalaRua Tue 10-Nov-15 18:11:33

My mum, step dad and dad all call me a 'good girl' all the time. For no reason.

Eg: mum: how are you?
Me: fine thanks
Mum: good girl

This so annoys me. I'm youngish but I'm married with a child! Is this unreasonable of me to hate it? Is there a polite way to make them stop?

hibbleddible Tue 10-Nov-15 18:21:00

Yanbu to be annoyed, they are infantilising you.

Have you tried asking them to stop?

celtictoast Tue 10-Nov-15 18:21:41

"Could you stop calling me a girl please? It just doesn't sound right now that I'm X years old".

SaucyJack Tue 10-Nov-15 18:23:58

Do it back to them every time they go to the loo or finish their dinner.

feckitall Tue 10-Nov-15 18:26:21

My manager at work does this she is the same age as me, middleaged ...I just say 'yes mum' grin
I can't get worked up over it.

AuntieStella Tue 10-Nov-15 18:28:43

I think from your parents, you probably have to put up with this (now matter how old you get, you're always their baby, which is sweet in its way).

But it would be utterly infuriating from anyone else.

Grown ups should always be referred to as such, and definitely addressed as such, unless and until you know you're on terms of intimacy that welcomes diminutives.

maras2 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:32:39

Are they Irish? My lot still say this and I'm 63.I admit that it used to drive me bonkers but now find it endearing. smile

Lostcat2 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:33:52

You will go exactly the same to your dd/ds. It's ingrained.

After all good woman would be wierd.

Pehaps you should say 'actually mum I was a very bad girl last night' and let it hang there.

EatShitDerek Tue 10-Nov-15 18:34:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrssmith79 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:41:06

I say 'good lad' to dh. He's never complained yet. He calls me 'my gorgeous girl' sometimes. Usually when he's pissed grin.
It's not something I've ever thought about.

reni2 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:41:48

I don't mind it (much) with parents. "How are you, my baby?" I am not a baby. "You will ALWAYS be my baby." She was right, I can already feel it with mine. Anybody not my parent, fuck off with good girl.

Narp Tue 10-Nov-15 18:43:53

My mum calls me 'sweet pea'. I see it as a sign of her affection for me; not a sign she thinks I am a flower.

EatShitDerek Tue 10-Nov-15 18:45:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalaRua Tue 10-Nov-15 18:46:29

Ah you've given me food for thought here. I felt like its demeaning and they're trying to keep me young. But I suppose they will always see me as their baby!

SummerNights1986 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:48:00

One of the security guards at work does this all the time. He's mid 60's but everyone gets 'good girl' or 'good lad'. It doesn't matter if you're 16 or 60.

I think it's more of an expression with some and reaching for a deeper meaning such as 'infantilising' is clutching at straws. Unless it's said in an obviously patronising way I find it quite endearing really.

Littlef00t Tue 10-Nov-15 19:13:37

See I don't like the use of good girl or clever girl even when you're a child. We use thank you or well done for adults, why do we have to attach a value judgement to simple actions by children?

GruntledOne Tue 10-Nov-15 19:17:21

Argh, the vile Rob just said it to Helen on The Archers. Proof positive that it's demeaning!

StampyMum Tue 10-Nov-15 19:21:23

Haha so he did.

I'm in my 40s, and everyone says it to me. I say it to my 85-year-old mum. Maybe we're unusually youthful looking wink or maybe you don't have enough real problems in your life, so you're forced to invent some?

Katedotness1963 Tue 10-Nov-15 19:24:41

My mum and dad still reffered to us as "the bairns" long after we were all grown up and left home. You'll always be your parents "bairns".

Seriouslyffs Tue 10-Nov-15 19:25:32

Bark at them and nip their ankles.

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 10-Nov-15 19:29:15

Could be worse. Whenever I do something my dad is impressed with he says 'clever girl' just like the guy talking to the raptor in Jurassic Park. grin

BalaRua Tue 10-Nov-15 19:29:53

maybe you don't have enough real problems in your life, so you're forced to invent some lol.

DearFox Tue 10-Nov-15 19:31:51

Flipping heck, I'm Irish and I don't say it! And my Mum doesn't say it to me, nor do any of my colleagues say it to me.. always some new strange class of madness attributed to being Irish on mn!

BalaRua Tue 10-Nov-15 19:34:53

Not Irish although descended from Irish, in a part of England heavily populated by Irish descendants.

BalaRua Tue 10-Nov-15 19:35:43

To be fair I am probably being unreasonable here. If I told you my age you'd agree. I'll get over this one!

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