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Complementing guys on Instagram on their physique is not cheating

(70 Posts)
Twizzelgrl Tue 10-Nov-15 08:35:25

Bf started using insta on my tablet last night and noticed I pay complements to a few guys with good bodies on there. He got a bit pissed off and went quiet and said it was a form of cheating. I don't keep my tablet locked or my insta private as I've nothing to hide. Most of the guys I follow are fit and intelligent with interesting philosophical views. He's overreacting right?

Brioche201 Tue 10-Nov-15 08:36:43

Obviously a reverse

Twizzelgrl Tue 10-Nov-15 08:47:42

It isn't.

AlwaysHope1 Tue 10-Nov-15 08:50:00

Are these guys that you actually know? How would you feel if he did the same.

Tootsiepops Tue 10-Nov-15 08:52:31

His reaction is his reaction. It's not for anyone here to say he's right or wrong.

The question is - now that you know he finds it upsetting - whether or not you're prepared to change your behaviour.

SaucyJack Tue 10-Nov-15 08:52:48

Brock O'Hurn?

Nah, I wouldn't do it. Cheap and sleazy. I don't think it's much different to walking up to someone in the pub and having a good old perv whilst your partner is sitting at the table staring awkwardly into a pint.

Assuming you're not trolling and this isn't a reverse..... How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing it?

fieldfare Tue 10-Nov-15 08:54:01

But you're not complimenting them on their intellectual prowess are you? Just the aesthetics.
It's not personally something I would be overly happy about Dh doing. Yes we all find other people physically attractive, but in a committed relationship it's not really the done thing to tell other people you find them attractive is it.

arethereanyleftatall Tue 10-Nov-15 08:54:23

It might not be cheating but it's really odd and not very nice.

Twizzelgrl Tue 10-Nov-15 08:55:28

No I dot know them, if he did the same I'd be fine, I'm not giving crude comments just nice complements.

Obviously if it upsets him I won't do it anymore, but I like receiving nice comments on my insta photos its how the app should work IMO.

AlwaysHope1 Tue 10-Nov-15 08:57:24

Well it's not very nice and kind of disrespectful to your bf. Would you go up to someone you don't know and compliment them? It's the same thing.

Twizzelgrl Tue 10-Nov-15 08:59:04

I would do actually, I complemented someone on their suit in a lift yesterday. Maybe I just say things aloud that others just think but I am an open book what you see is what you get.

plantsitter Tue 10-Nov-15 08:59:50

Can you really part a stranded a nice compliment about their physique? Surely it's automatically an objectifying thing. Which I suppose is fine if you're both OK with that, but your boyfriend isn't.

By the way, your breasts are very nicely shaped and full.

Nope, still creepy.

AlwaysHope1 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:00:18

You sound like a flirt, and I can see why he has an issue with it.

swisscheesetony Tue 10-Nov-15 09:01:34

Urgh - so basically you're using Instagram as though it were hotornot.com and are just fishing for compliments and are seeking reciprocal from these aesthetically blessed genii? So basically you're window shopping.

Your partner would be well shot, there's not room in your relationship for him, you, your ego and his replacement.

DoreenLethal Tue 10-Nov-15 09:02:28

'Nice on-trend teddy treatise on The Enlightenment mate'
'That's a fab Nietzshean approach to butt clenches you got going on there - qudos'
'Baudrillard would be proud of that post-modern take on the Three Graces Sir'

Yes, I totally get your point.

swisscheesetony Tue 10-Nov-15 09:04:22

Ironic that there's currently a thread in aibu (my bad) about a woman freaking out because someone said "nice tits" in the street. If you were in a bar would you walk up to a man and say "nice cock outline on your trousers"? No? That's right, it's weird and disrespectful for all parties involved.

expatinscotland Tue 10-Nov-15 09:05:10

Whatever did narcissists do before all this social media?

Twizzelgrl Tue 10-Nov-15 09:06:45

Swiss those are crude comment s and I would never say something like that. Nudity is not allowed on insta, Dianna got banned over it.

Twizzelgrl Tue 10-Nov-15 09:07:41

If you think admiring the human form is narcissistic. Go ahead, although people have been doing it since the dawn of time. Go look at the British museum hun.

Skiptonlass Tue 10-Nov-15 09:08:33

Nice complements? Like getting wolf whistled or cat called is a nice compliment?

It's flirting. No different to your bf telling the waitress she's got a hot ass.

its one thing looking and appreciating, but the core issue here is that you're not looking from afar. By complimenting them on Instagram you are reaching out and making contact, and the nature of that contact is flirtatious. Hence FB is ( rightfully) upset.

maras2 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:09:35

grin expat

brainwashed Tue 10-Nov-15 09:10:25

Have we had this thread before. ..or one very like it? confused

definitelybutter Tue 10-Nov-15 09:10:41

Oh hell, the OP used 'hun'

What is that comedy sketch with the dirty old women? You know, where they say inappropriate stuff to men? I'm sure I've seen one.

(not marking place while I go to get popcorn at all)

Beeswax2017 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:11:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Tue 10-Nov-15 09:12:02

interesting philosophical views ... oh yes that is exactly what Instagram was made for

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