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(5 Posts)
allgoodnamestaken Mon 09-Nov-15 15:51:46

Sorry, this is a bit convoluted.
My DD (let's call her Jenny) alternates playdates with her friend, Louise, every Monday - Louise's Mum and I take turns to host. It's a loose enough arrangement. Louise got in to the habit of inviting other girls on playdates and the last girl she invited was Cathy. Cathy is actually a friend of Jenny's as well so when Cathy's Mum was returning the favour she invited Jenny as well and it was on a Monday. But now it seems that Cathy's Mum and Cathy seem to expect that we will alternate the playdates between the 3 houses.
It's not a big deal and could work out ok but there are two problems I have with it. Actually, there are probably a few.
1. Cathy's Mum works on Mondays and it's her brother (Cathy's uncle) who does the childcare and as such would be doing the playdates (involves collecting the girls from school and bringing home). Cathy's Mum never told Louise's Mum that this would be happening and I only knew because I know that he does the childcare. The girls are 8. I'm not even sure that he has our numbers and I know that I don't have his.
2. The assumption that myself and Louise's Mum want to change our arrangement and alternate between the 3 girls. It would have been nice to be asked but then I think that IABU

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 09-Nov-15 15:54:23

So you only get to host once every three weeks rather than every other week.


laffymeal Mon 09-Nov-15 15:55:29

If the DCs all get on with each other and you trust the carer then it's not really a problem, it shares the childcare 3 ways which means you get 2 Mondays free and only have to look after one more child than normal on the third week.

If the girls are a bit nippy with each other and you're unsure of the carer, then it might be more of an issue. Only you can know the answer to that.

Kingfisherfree Mon 09-Nov-15 16:18:29

I would want to know the uncle a bit before he started looking after them tbh. I would probably back out if I didn't know them.

Floggingmolly Mon 09-Nov-15 16:47:22

I'd think it's a bit off to host a playdate for two other children when you're not actually doing the childcare yourself. Sounds like she's viewing it as free childcare, if she already knows she's going to be working...

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