Worried for friend that has gone raw vegan and just sat there during a lunch out

[Worflyied]

I've got a friend who has been doing this raw vegan diet for almost 10 months. She sticks to it religiously. She is looking good and is not underweight. But she has cut out virtually every food group apart from nuts, fruit and veg. Long term this doesn't seem like a good idea.

We went out yesterday to an nt place, and for lunch she just had a peppermint tea and ate nothing, then after lunch nibbled on some seeds as we were walking around. Doesn't sound healthy right?

[CarlaJones]

If she's looking good and not underweight she's probably eating at other times. NT cafes are quite expensive.

[Cookiecake]

It does sound a little restrictive but was she not eating because there was nothing suitable? It's quite hard to eat vegan in some places let alone raw. I can understand that she wouldn't want to deviate from her diet for lunch out.

[SoupDragon]

Doesn't sound healthy right?

Healthier than a full fat latte and a huge slab of cake I imagine :)

Or is that just my experience of a NT cafe?

[TheHouseOnTheLane]

My DH lives like this and has for over 3 years. He's very, very healthy.

Yes he's not heavy but neither is he underweight. He won't adhere to convention...if others are eating and he doesn't want to then he won't.

People find this hard...but it's up to him and he doesn't like eating just because others are. He eats when hungry.

[Shakey15000]

What's an NT cafe?

[OnlyLovers]

National Trust.

[Shakey15000]

Thanks

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

Was there anything that was raw vegan in the cafe?

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I'm also not sure what your AIBU is...

[WorraLiberty]

Are you worried about her diet being long term, or worried because she skipped lunch that day?

[LeaveMyWingsBehindMe]

dont worry about her - she's absolutely fine. If you are going to choose a very niche and difficult way of eating you have to accept that eating out is problematic, and either don't go, or go and just nurse a glass of herbal tea while everyone else eats what they want.

She's not ill, she's not miserable, she's not (so far anyway) malnourished, it's her body so just leave her to it. The worst thing about this for her is everyone else pulling sad and concerned faces at her and trying sabotage her decision with all this faux concern for her health.

I would never be a vegan but so long as they don't expect me to pander to them and alter my eating habits in front of them, I really couldn't give a shiney shite who eats what.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I'm "only" vegan and never find anything to eat in NT cafes, so I usually have a bottle of water while everyone else tucks into the artisan sandwiches and cream cakes.

This doesn't mean that I never eat...

[juneau]

I'm guessing there wasn't a raw vegan option at the NT cafe (I'd be amazed if there was tbh!). I'm gluten-free, which is actually pretty common these days, but often the more old-fashioned type of cafe has nothing I can eat. So as a raw food vegan no wonder she takes her own food. As for her diet choice, its really none of your business if she's looking well on it. People ate like this for millennia (well, that and some charred meat anyway), so she's probably a lot healthier than the rest of us who chow down on processed food, refined sugar, etc.

[caitlinohara]

YABU as long as she seems healthy and happy. What she chooses to eat is up to her. I know how annoying it can be when close family or friends go all faddy on you but it's not really your place to dictate how someone else eats.

[weeblueberry]

If she'd done this five times at varying places I'd agree. But a one off means nothing. Some days I like to fast and eat very minimally and if someone saw me on one of those days they'd think I was terribly unhealthy apart from the fact I'm carrying about three stone extra in weight...

[fascicle]

Worflyied
But she has cut out virtually every food group apart from nuts, fruit and veg.

She has cut out one food group - dairy (which is not an insurmountable issue - many people avoid dairy for various reasons). Sounds like a National Trust cafe was not the best fit for her diet, but presumably you might also have been looking around the property? In which case, food wasn't the only focus. Was she happy with the food arrangements?

[Bunbaker]

She sounds a right pain TBH. I once sat next to someone at a meal who didn't have anything to eat at all (and sulked all the way through because she couldn't find anything she liked on the menu). She made everyone around her feel uncomfortable.

Can't you just meet up with her when it isn't around a mealtime?

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

She sounds a right pain TBH

Um, why?

From what we know, the OP's friend didn't sulk or complain. She just didn't have anything to eat.

[thedevilinmyshoes]

god imagine an AIBU along the lines of 'I'm worried about my friend, she ate a large lunch with fried things and pastry and processed meat, she's not overweight yet but if she continues to eat like this I'm scared of the long term consequences'

[HubertsBirthdayStick]

Do some research on raw eating - she will not be starving.
Raw cheesecake is a good place to start !

If not, and she wasn't moaning or annoying, MYOB

[Supermanspants]

Are you as concerned for those who eat red meat?
Why is it that people seems to be so concerned with a vegan diet raw or otherwise but hardly bat an eyelid at the carb/fat/chemical loaded food a significant proportion of the population consume? Perhaps take time to research links between diet and cancer.

[Supermanspants]

Whoops. . . cross post with thedevil

[ShamelessBreadAddict]

I think YABU sorry OP. What did you expect her to do? Chuck in the diet she's been following successfully for 10 months and chow down on ham sandwiches and cake?

[DriverSurpriseMe]

It's an eating disorder like any other. I think they call it orthorexia.

[SharkSkinThing]

Sounds a bit like you are trying to sabotage her? She may have perfectly good reasons for eating this way that you are not privy to.

As PP have said, MYOB!