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To feel annoyed when I send someone a whatsapp message and they appear to ignore it?

(20 Posts)
bodenbiscuit Sun 08-Nov-15 16:14:41

Even though you can see they've been online since you sent it? It shows delivered to their phone but they haven't opened it. It makes me feel so invisible.

Now, I have AS so I'm fully prepared to accept that this might actually be my problem.

For some reason I don't mind so much when people don't text back immediately. I'm not sure what it is about whatsapp then...

DontHaveAUsername Sun 08-Nov-15 16:16:59

"For some reason I don't mind so much when people don't text back immediately. I'm not sure what it is about whatsapp then..."

Could it be that with WhatsApp you can actually see that they HAVE seen the message but you can't do this with texting. So if you get no reply to your text you're always thinking they might not have read it yet but with WhatsApp you know for a fact they have seen it?

Missyaggravation Sun 08-Nov-15 16:17:04

Yes I hate it too. In the settings you can turn off whether people can see when you are online, this also prevents you from seeing when others are online too. Problem solved grin

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sun 08-Nov-15 16:17:42

Probably because you can see that it's been delivered. So don't look, because that's useless information and you'll feed off it.

I reply to WhatsApp when I get the time, but I get a lot of notifications from it and I tend to clear them so that they aren't cluttering up my notifications screen but then forget to reply. I do eventually but it could be a few hours, sometimes. Nobody is ever going to tell me of an emergency via WhatsApp message so I'll read and reply when I feel like it, and it's convenient.

Try no to overthink it, there's almost certainly no malice if they are replying eventually.

peacoat Sun 08-Nov-15 16:20:07

No - not a big deal IMO. I sometimes see it when I'm busy and can't respond right away, and then something I take a while to remember and get back to it. I'm pretty sure it's the same for most people.

HackerFucker22 Sun 08-Nov-15 16:21:03

I am addicted to WhatsApp and I use it for almost all correspondence these days (except for mum and dad who don't have it. PIL do though).. There is a way to turn off your status but no one I know uses this.

I often send messages and see person is online but I don't expect an immediate reply as I know people are busy and may just read message but not actually have time to reply straight away. This is usually what I do.... read and reply when I can 2 dc mean I am often not able to reply to messages for a while

So in the nicest possible way yabu.

bodenbiscuit Sun 08-Nov-15 16:26:01

Ok, maybe I need to turn the settings off!

manicinsomniac Sun 08-Nov-15 16:29:54

Yeah, it's the knowing they've read it thing. With texts you've no idea how long it will be before someone looks at their phone.

YA of course being totally U. Nobody is obliged to reply as soon as they read something. Having time to read something is much easier than having the time to reply, especially if the reply needs some thought.

But, while thinking you are unreasonable, I totally get it and am exactly the same. Sometimes I feel really worried and sick over the perceived rejection (depending on what I've sent obviously, I'm talking about 100% mundane messages). And I still feel like that despite not always replying instantly to everything myself!!

It's not because you have AS, it's just human I think. Or slightly under-confident human anyway.

CantSee4Looking Sun 08-Nov-15 16:31:04

I am not obliged to reply to anything, unless it is urgent and serious, immediately. You would hate me as I will not be ordered about my phone, and quite frankly if you can't understand that I am not at your beck and call 24hrs you would be very very disappointed.

I will read texts, I will respond to texts, but I will do it at a time convenient to me. I might have a quick look to determine if it is urgent. But if i am busy, I am busy and it will wait until I can give it my full attention.

yabu and so is most of society and the way so many people expect everything immediately

SoupDragon Sun 08-Nov-15 16:33:53

It shows delivered to their phone but they haven't opened it.

I don't always get notified that a Whatsapp message has arrived.
People don't always have the chance to reply or read right away.
Sometimes you don't need to open it to read it, the full message is show in the notification.
Many many reasons!

ChiefInspectorBarnaby Sun 08-Nov-15 16:36:58

Don't let it get to you it's not a big deal.

bodenbiscuit Sun 08-Nov-15 16:41:33

Well, yes cantsee I do think you're absolutely right in principle. I'm trying to figure out why I would feel this way. Does it also depend who it is too?

bodenbiscuit Sun 08-Nov-15 16:44:55

The problem is that I find sometimes people seem to be reading your messages constantly and replying and then other times they seem to disappear and not read them even if they are online.

For some reason this makes me feel that I must have done some thing to upset them. Which of course is ridiculous

tilliebob Sun 08-Nov-15 16:47:50

That's why I hide my last seen and receipts for messages read - no one knows when I was last one and what I've read grin

pinotblush Sun 08-Nov-15 16:47:57

I think Im permanently on whatsapp so it's just like getting a text. I won't answer if busy.

Topseyt Sun 08-Nov-15 16:49:39

Not a big issue for me.

I use WhatsApp because it is the preferred method of communication of my DD1, a student currently on a year abroad working in Paris. Sometimes you just can't respond immediately though, and I refuse to be beholden to my phone all day long.

BillBrysonsBeard Sun 08-Nov-15 23:12:43

I do this all the time OP, please don't worry.. It means nothing! Even if I'm sat relaxing and have loads of time, I might read a message and think about what to reply.. Or I just don't feel like replying straight away. Some chats are nice to have drawn out a bit.
Or sometimes I'll appear online to answer a more urgent message without reading someone elses.

CantSee4Looking Mon 09-Nov-15 17:02:50

No boden it is nothing to do with who the person is. Although sometimes circumstances mean that I will be more likely to make time to answer if the situation requires but it is circumstance dependant and not person dependant.

bodenbiscuit Mon 09-Nov-15 18:14:52

Thank you for your replies. It does really help.

mermaidinshoes Mon 09-Nov-15 18:47:17

Just as a quick point, when I get messages through it pops up on my screen and I can read the message without going onto the app...So quite often I see the message and reply later when I'm free to do so.

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