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To ban DH from going out?!

(130 Posts)
WitteryTwittery Sat 07-Nov-15 22:06:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeyOaty Sat 07-Nov-15 22:11:28

Tbh I would be making separate arrangements for the birth - a Plan B if you like.

You can't "ban" him from going out but if he persists then really you need to have a Good Think about the future. Sorry.

Topseyt Sat 07-Nov-15 22:11:47

I am uncomfortable with people getting that insanely drunk anyway.

I would say you are not being at all unreasonable and he needs to learn self control.

ValancyJane Sat 07-Nov-15 22:27:12

YANBU under the circumstances. He needs to grow up. I'm due in January and have already pointed out to DP that he needs to pretty much be sober after Christmas! Did he stop last time when your DD was due?

cailindana Sat 07-Nov-15 22:30:40

You shouldn't have to force your partner to support you. If he chooses drinking over your safety and peace of mind then he's an alcoholic.

WitteryTwittery Sat 07-Nov-15 22:31:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrideOfWankenstein Sat 07-Nov-15 22:36:58

What cailindana said.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 07-Nov-15 22:36:56

A major session every week. That's a lot.

WitteryTwittery Sat 07-Nov-15 22:37:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HackerFucker22 Sat 07-Nov-15 22:38:37

Sorry but kind of father / father to be behaves like this?

He doesn't go out often? Odd that he is out 3 weekends in a row? That is not my definition of something 'not happening that frequently'

Sorry, it's you partner who is in the wrong here but seriously.... is he more of a grown up in other aspects of his life?

cailindana Sat 07-Nov-15 22:39:01

A normal husband would be at home with you enjoying the last few weeks before baby arrives.

HackerFucker22 Sat 07-Nov-15 22:39:25

* what kind of father / father to be

Gruntfuttock Sat 07-Nov-15 22:40:49

I wouldn't have children with a man like that.

babyboomersrock Sat 07-Nov-15 22:43:31

DH is a useless drunk - doesn't answer or look at his phone, stays completely out of touch, and usually turns up around 7am

He sounds like an irresponsible teenager, OP. Are you prepared to go on "keeping him in check" for the rest of your life? Who minds your toddler on the days he rolls in at 7am?

MsVestibule Sat 07-Nov-15 22:48:44

I think my DH stopped drinking altogether 2 weeks before my due date and doesn't normally go on benders so I guess it wasn't a big issue. I would consider that fairly normal.

Your DH IBU. He shouldn't have to stay stone cold sober at this point, but at least be able to support you through labour. He can hardly do that if he's very drunk/hungover.

Without meaning to sound like a psychologist, has his drinking always been a big issue in your relationship?

yummumto3girls Sat 07-Nov-15 22:52:34

Rolling in at 7am is disgraceful for a married father. I would be going spare if mine did that and I didn't know where he was!! Mind you I have issues when my useless drunk was found sleeping in the middle of a road and I was woken by the police to say he was taken to hospital!! I went out the next day with the kids and refused to pick him up until late afternoon, even then he looked like shit, with a black eye - the kids were mortified!!

PennyHasNoSurname Sat 07-Nov-15 22:53:40

What decent husband does this with outlr without a baby on the way (and one at home!)??

DoreenLethal Sat 07-Nov-15 22:56:29

He is deliberately rendering himself useless so close to your due date that you really need to reassess your future with him. What the hell would happen to your 16 month old if you went into labour right now?

Irresponsible wanker.

gruber Sat 07-Nov-15 22:57:57

My DH stopped at 34 weeks - no alcohol, nothing- and we have plenty of family on hand that could have driven if we needed them to. He saw it as part of his end of the bargain. I carried the baby, he made some sacrifices. Your DH is being very reckless. Ban him from any alcohol and any outings. Full stop. He's shown you he can't behave so restrict his freedom.

StylishDuck Sat 07-Nov-15 23:05:44

I was due mid-Feb, DH didn't touch a drop after new year that year. Even though I said I didn't mind him having one or two on the couple of times he went out.

If, like you say, he's reasonable when he's sober you need to have a serious discussion with him when he is sober again and tell him it's not acceptable for him to be getting so drunk he's incapable of contacting you or replying to you. I think you've been incredibly patient up until now. I would not be happy if DH went out on an all night bender and wasn't contactable whether I was pregnant or not.

BearFoxBear Sat 07-Nov-15 23:07:58

That's not a useless drunk, that's an arsehole. Sorry op.

WitteryTwittery Sat 07-Nov-15 23:12:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tickory Sat 07-Nov-15 23:14:17

Sounds like your DH needs to take a reality check and do some growing up. How old is he, 17?

I'd find behaviour like that really stressful to deal with at any time, let alone when pregnant.

Big talk and some serious changes required.

CalleighDoodle Sat 07-Nov-15 23:15:25

He is very selfish.

Aussiemum78 Sat 07-Nov-15 23:17:03

That's crap. Even if you don't go into labour, you are tired and shouldn't have your toddler for 2 days straight while he does nothing.

My dp was like this when dd was young and I ended up separating. Before I did, (but after I'd told him I was leaving) I went out one night and rolled in at 5am with a flat phone. He was livid - I'm a mum, where was I? Had I met someone?. I remember the immense satisfaction of saying, oh well you do it all the time why shouldn't i? He was all fine going out like that safe in the knowledge that I never did it. nothing I ever said has as much impact as doing this one night.

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