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To think that 'hormones' is a lazy excuse and does women no favours?

(35 Posts)
Cel982 Fri 06-Nov-15 15:43:48

Ok, so admittedly the thought was triggered by this story, and its "I was pregnant, I didn't know what I was doing" punchline hmm

But, more generally, do women do themselves a disservice when they attribute emotional behaviour or episodes of questionable judgement to 'being hormonal'? You hear it all the time in relation to periods, pregnancy, menopause. Does our hormonal milieu really have that much of an effect on our ability to reason and act rationally? I think not, but I fully accept that other people may have different experiences. Or is it just a convenient excuse?

It just makes me uneasy, as it seems to feed into very Victorian male attitudes to women, female hysteria and so on, and paints us as helpless victims of our own bodies. Which I really don't believe is the case.

TiffanyAchingsFeegle Fri 06-Nov-15 15:48:40

I was drying my hair the other day and realised that it had lived for over 4 years.

I got through 4 of them during my last pregnancy, after I'd slam them into the wall in rages.

I agree though, threads that say '....I am 4 months pregnant though so maybe it's my hormones.' Just scream that they are precious and pregnant craving sympathy. That's pretty pathetic.

But WRT being genuinely raged and irrational because of hormones, YABU.

I suffered in pregnancy and I also have PNDD.

Hormones are bastards.

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 06-Nov-15 15:50:55

tiffany part of that story missing. I thought you meant your hair had lived for 4 years ...

Some women do get hormonal rages. My best mate gets PMT really bad, very emotional upsets. I hardly get it. It differs.

We do have hormonal surges that men don't suffer to the same degree. Why do we have to pretend we don't? Just so we can be on an "equal playing field" with men?

voluptuagoodshag Fri 06-Nov-15 15:52:01

Hormones are indeed bastards. What is unreasonable is the flippancy surrounding the issue.

I personally think us women should be put back on our deserved pedestals and worshipped, just like we were thousands of years ago. wink

Enjolrass Fri 06-Nov-15 15:52:35

We had this the other week.

Yanbu but you will be told that because a few women do suffer with bad hormones that Yabu. And should give all women the benefit of doubt, just incase.

TiffanyAchingsFeegle Fri 06-Nov-15 15:54:15

I've just read the article though, that's fucking obscene.

OneHandFlapping Fri 06-Nov-15 15:56:25

I completely agree, CEL982. It just adds to the portrayal of women as hysterical victims of their own hormones, and not rational creatures at all.

For what its worth, in the workplace and socially, I've never been able to tell when other women are pre menstrual, pregnant or menopausal, so I guess in general, we manage to conceal our hormonal status.

Enjolrass Fri 06-Nov-15 15:59:16

That story is fucking grim!

She said 'we sat down, we were tired, it happened!'

Wtf???

Whatevva Fri 06-Nov-15 16:08:43

So, what was his excuse? confused It takes two hmm

Cel982 Fri 06-Nov-15 16:10:55

I completely agree that there's a hormonal influence on PND, Tiffany, and I certainly didn't mean to be flippant about that. I suppose I'm more thinking of the use of a throwaway "Oh, hormones!" as a catch-all excuse - used by both men and women - for a women's behaviour.

That's fair enough, goodnight, but in my case I'm not aware of suffering such hormonal surges, so I'm certainly not pretending or concealing them. Just wondering if I'm in the minority there.

I agree, OneHand - I've never thought about a colleague "God, she's in a right mood today, she must be having her period."

voluptuagoodshag Fri 06-Nov-15 16:11:03

Whatevva - I couldn't agree more!!!!!!! In spades!!!!!!!!

Enjolrass Fri 06-Nov-15 16:13:11

He went with the 'it was a human mistake' makes even less sense confused

ouryve Fri 06-Nov-15 16:15:13

My habitually inscrutible persona can be thrown into a mass of seething rage or heap of blubber by hormones.

I can't say they've ever driven me to having a shag (no clicked the DM link) and claiming I didn't know what I was doing, though.

SurlyCue Fri 06-Nov-15 16:16:23

Hormones affect fucking everyone. Men are just as "guilty" of hormone induced rage as women are. Its just that women are dismissed because of theirs (ignore, she's hormonal) whereas men are angry. Women dont get to be angry about things because the thing is anger inducing. Women are just hormonal hmm

NotTheSpiceOfLife Fri 06-Nov-15 16:16:28

What was it, a blowjob? Wtf?

florencerusty Fri 06-Nov-15 16:20:11

I dont know if it's lazy or not but for me it's fact. Today I am hormonal. My tolerance levels have fallen, they do the same every month and I have a small cloud of not being able to cope on my shoulder.

WorraLiberty Fri 06-Nov-15 16:23:42

Fucking dirty bastards

And carrying on after their kids interrupted them too!

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers Fri 06-Nov-15 16:26:34

That article is grim, and she is clearly just using hormones as some kind of excuse for grim behaviour.

I suffer from really bad PMT since I had DS2 4 years ago. For several days before my period I feel almost stoned, get horribly emotional and angry, feel hugely anxious about everything. I genuinely find it difficult to focus on doing anything the day immediately before my period, my eyes go blurry and my brain is utterly fogged. Within 24 hours I feel 'normal' again.

80sWaistcoat Fri 06-Nov-15 16:27:15

It's a fact - women can really suffer due to hormone related problems. It would be better if more money was spent on researching it and helping them.

I went through a stage of sheer rage in perimenopause - it was terrifying for me and the people round me, also anxiety and depression. All hormone related - I'm sorted after going back on the Pill - but it took a while and a lot of hassle.

And I'm sure if women went on about it more and the toll it can take - like women who can't leave the house due to flooding during periods - some more research would be done to find ways of helping.

80sWaistcoat Fri 06-Nov-15 16:27:52

pS haven't read the DM link - just talking more generally!

Kittyfrickle Fri 06-Nov-15 16:28:18

I had a hormone imbalance before I got pregnant and my emotions were always up and down so bad that it was thought I had bipolar. Within 6 months of pregnancy my relationship has been destroyed due to my irritation and irrational reactions/behaviours towards things. We were such a strong couple before I got pregnant and now we don't even talk, he hates me and hates the thought of being with me so bad that he has moved away with his mother and wants nothing to do with the baby we tried so hard to conceive. I deserve it I guess but hormones can have devastating effects. They can be very hard to control sometimes, not sure about the sexual side though. I've never had the sudden urge to enagage in that in public confused

Crabbitface Fri 06-Nov-15 16:34:36

That article - boak

GruntledOne Fri 06-Nov-15 17:01:34

I agree, it concerns me that every time a woman excuses stupid or irrational behaviour by blaming the fact that she's pregnant or premenstrual or whatever, she hands an excuse to men who claim they shouldn't have to employ women because they're so unreliable.

TinklyLittleLaugh Fri 06-Nov-15 17:10:00

Surely if she gave him a blowjob in public, in front of the kids, the kids should be taken off them? God knows what they do in front of the kids in private.

I am a bit of a slave to my PMT to be honest, I have suffered from from horrid irrational hateful rages. My menopause is no bundle of laughs either. I quite look forward to being post menopause, I am hoping I will get my happy go lucky inner child back.

FluffyPersian Fri 06-Nov-15 18:00:48

I terminated my pregnancy 6 days ago due to hormones.

I am 33, never had any mental health problems and have held a very Senior position for a number of years - For the last 12 weeks, I've not raged at anyone, not cried at work on anyone and my performance has not decreased (according to my Manager).

However I wanted to literally kill myself - I've never felt so low or unhappy in my entire life.

Before I got pregnant, I'd never have believed my personality would have changed so drastically, nor that I'd be at the Dr's, begging them to somehow block or lowery hormone levels as I couldn't cope.

Despite behaving 'normally' to everyone around me, I was a total and utter wreck behind closed doors.

I take complete responsibility for my actions and I doubt the guilt will ever leave me - However I don't believe hormones is a lazy excuse all the time... I would never wish anyone to feel like I did.

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