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To not be the least bit interested in other people's weddings?

(158 Posts)
PiperChapstick Thu 05-Nov-15 13:17:33

A colleague is getting married next month, and it just seems to be the only topic of conversation in the office at the moment. I've heard endless conversations about what the favours are, the first dance, cake, colour themes, "disasters" with the MIL dress (it's the same colour as her mums shockhmm). She's a bit of a queen bee and other people in the office are making a terrible fuss - there's gonna be a hen do, a meal after work for colleagues who make the hen do, a day where we've booked a meeting room to present her with champagne and on the last day before she gets married the chief exec is presenting her with flowers. For that day people have various tasks such as filming, photos, making sure everyone in building has signed the card etc.

AIBU to find this all horrendously boring? I get it's important to her and she's excited but why does everyone else need to care? Maybe I'm just miserable re weddings - I couldn't even be arsed having a "proper" one, DH and I buggered off to America to elope. I did make a feeble attempt, we were gonna get married in our home town but I just never found myself caring about any of it, I just wanted to be DHs wife and be done with it.

I haven't said anything to colleague but I also haven't been insanely enthusiastic eitherconfused I actually love weddings of families and good friends, I've always had a good time, but that's because of the people who are there, not the stuff on the table

RitaConnors Thu 05-Nov-15 13:20:31

I think you should start planning to renew your vows. Then you can join in.

wizzywig Thu 05-Nov-15 13:23:21

It is incredibly boring.

Lottapianos Thu 05-Nov-15 13:25:16

'AIBU to find this all horrendously boring?'

Most definitely not grin I've worked with people like this and dear me, its wearing. It would be generally considered out of order for someone to come into the office and constantly bang on about their hamster or their kite collection or their gym routine or whatever, but with weddings and babies / children, we're all supposed to be endlessly fascinated. No thanks.

It sounds like your colleagues are getting involved in an insane level of fuss about this person's wedding - no reason you have to though. I would sign the card, put in a quid for the collection, avoid the hen do as if it were the Black Death, and aim to have a desperately important meeting to attend during the champagne and flowers nonsense.

She must have a very small sad life if she needs to turn her wedding into such a massive production involving everyone in the office.

Totally with you on the elopement by the way. My neighbours are planning to do the same and I think its marvellous. I think DP and I would go the same way if we decided to get married.

MaidOfStars Thu 05-Nov-15 13:26:07

Ah, some people love weddings (and associated chat), some don't. I happen to quite like weddings and all the planning stuff. YANBU to be one of the people who doesn't give a fig about favours.

The problem with wedding chat on Mumsnet is that those who don't give a fig about favours are very keen to tell those people who are:
1. how much of a waste it is
2. how universally shit they are
3. how you're basically the worst kind of person for even considering foisting a small gift upon your guests.

It's so belittling.

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 05-Nov-15 13:27:13

You almost sound a bit jealous of the attention she's getting.

caravanista13 Thu 05-Nov-15 13:27:37

Some people love all the razzmatazz. Can't you just be happy for her?

PiperChapstick Thu 05-Nov-15 13:28:26

Lotta luckily we are moving house the day of the hen do (which starts at 9am and finishes at midnight!) so that's my excuse sorted grin

DingleberryDip Thu 05-Nov-15 13:30:15

I like a good wedding but hearing about people's wedding plans is tedious in the extreme.

'Ooooh you're having sugared almonds in blue netting as your wedding favour you say? That really is interesting'.

PiperChapstick Thu 05-Nov-15 13:30:23

Paul I wondered how long it would be before I was accused of jealousy. Why is it when a woman doesnt get on board with everything another woman's choice does there's cries of "jealous!" hmm never happened when I've talked in this way about men

RiceBurner Thu 05-Nov-15 13:30:34

YANBU. Me too.

I could barely get interested in my own wedding so I have no idea why ppl just can't ppl just get married, (and be happy), without making such a big fuss about it. (And without 'wasting' vast amounts of their time/money ... as well as other ppl's.)

reni2 Thu 05-Nov-15 13:30:58

YANBU, unfortuantely you'll have to pretend to be polite. Nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings, beats me how BBC3 manage to get viewers for Don't Tell The Bride.

reni2 Thu 05-Nov-15 13:32:40


Vintagegramaphone Thu 05-Nov-15 13:33:20

YANBU. A lot of weddings nowadays have become a major borefest. TBH, given that so many couples nowadays have been living together and paying a mortgage for years, and have a couple of children, I can't honestly see anything to get excited about re their wedding. Yes, for them it's a formal commitment, but I just don't get the big white weddings and gifts and hen nights and so on and so on.

AliceInUnderpants Thu 05-Nov-15 13:33:27

Have you tried engaging anyone in conversation about anything else?

DingleberryDip Thu 05-Nov-15 13:37:12

Imagine how exciting/terrifying weddings must have been back in the day when you didn't even know what lay beneath your beloved's breeches?

MaidOfStars Thu 05-Nov-15 13:38:25

Nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings

This. It's just so dismissive and patronising. Are you deliberately trying to make prospective brides and grooms feel shit?

I care about other people's weddings. I am happy to hear about food choices and dress shopping (maybe not blue almonds, admittedly).

So why this trope that all weddings except your own are below a fucking root canal on your list of Things I'd Like To Do?

PiperChapstick Thu 05-Nov-15 13:40:29

Of course Alice and we do talk about other stuff but colleagues wedding dominates. Even when she sends emails out to the team it's signed off with "only 32 days to go" confused

Boutonneux Thu 05-Nov-15 13:40:30

YANBU. The only thing more boring that other people's weddings are other people's holidays (more specifically, other people's holiday photos) grin

DannyFishcharge Thu 05-Nov-15 13:41:23


DingleberryDip Thu 05-Nov-15 13:43:11

Wrong Boutonneux, the most boring thing is when colleagues try to tell you about a dream they had!

Other people's dreams are about as interesting as watching an episode of Pebble Mill At One from 1984.

Bunbaker Thu 05-Nov-15 13:45:58

"Nobody gives a shit about other people's weddings"

I'm inclined to think that most people don't care. Sorry maidofallstars, but I disagree with you on the favours as well.

I have never been to a wedding where there were any. We didn't have everything all matchy matchy, I didn't get my knickers in a twist about my sister's bridesmaid outfit. In fact I didn't get at all stressed about my wedding.

I don't even think that the guests notice the little details that bridezillas get so pedantic about.

Lottapianos Thu 05-Nov-15 13:47:10

'Why is it when a woman doesnt get on board with everything another woman's choice does there's cries of "jealous"'

Indeed. We're all supposed to be 'supportive' of each others 'choices' all the time. Meh. We're not robots. Its difficult to be supportive when you're having to listen to non-stop chatter about the minute details of somebody else's life all day long. Like I say, if this chatter was about anything other than weddings or babies, no-one would be accusing you of jealousy.

I don't think you sound jealous, just fed-up. Totally understandable grin

chillycurtains Thu 05-Nov-15 13:48:15

When I read the title of this post I thought 'oh how rude and self centred.' Then when I read the actual post - no, YANBU. I understand all the chat is natural but it is important for people to stop and make sure the conversation is about other people too. Just saying 'oh enough about my wedding anyway, how is your DC? or how's it going at wherever?' That's just polite. But a lot of chat just before a wedding is ok and exciting. It's fun to be excited for someone else too. However, the necessity for everyone to be at work/around on her last day at work before the wedding is weird as is a presentation of flowers...why do you get flowers for getting married? And why would she want them? The house will be so full of wedding dresses, flowers and stuff they will be in the way and then presumably she'll be going on honeymoon so they will be wasted. If you can't make the hen, then you can't make the hen. A second meal is not necessary either unless people have requested it maybe?

I think you need to tolerate the chatting and just join in being excited for her but the rest is a bit odd and seriously OTT.

CactusAnnie Thu 05-Nov-15 13:50:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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