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To ask you to clarify this for me?

(22 Posts)
Ironfloor Thu 05-Nov-15 09:47:39

Spinning off from my other thread about the (non) racist comment. DD's best friend is half Polish. Mom is Polish and dad is English. The other day, neighbour's boy who goes to the same school had played with her and told DD a the next morning 'I saw your Polish friend'. I cringed a bit. DD doesn't think of her as her Polish friend, she thinks of her as her friend, Eleanor (name changed obviously). So she looked a bit confused as to who this boy was talking about. First of all, I have no idea where or how he got the ethnic reference from, because I hardly think Eleanor would be going around talking about her mother's ancestry. Either way, was IBU to think this way of referring to that child was not right?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Thu 05-Nov-15 09:50:01

I think you're over thinking it.

He was using Polish to describe her. Bit like saying blonde or tall.

I don't think it's an issue.

Ironfloor Thu 05-Nov-15 09:53:18

Hmmm thanks. That's what I wanted to know. I wasn't sure.

Stompylongnose Thu 05-Nov-15 10:00:09

I'm guessing that the boy doesn't know the girl's name and because your dd has multiple friends, Polish describes her more quickly than blonde Y2 with pigtails.

Twinkie1 Thu 05-Nov-15 10:01:29

I've got a polish friend and she wouldn't be offended by this. Would it be different to say Otalian friend or Welsh friend?

honeysucklejasmine Thu 05-Nov-15 10:05:20

I taught a little girl who was known as "the Polish one" by her peers. She was second generation, and had a Polish spelling of a very common girls name. She didn't mind in the slightest and loved that it made her "different". She saw it no different to usibg initials e.g. " Amy B, Amy T and Polish Amy" . (Name changed, obvs)

Mumoftwoyoungkids Thu 05-Nov-15 10:17:13

There are several of us at work with the same first name.

I was amused to be told by someone when confirming which "Susie" I was (as I wanted him to send me some work) to discover that he thought of me as "Posh Susie".

I'm really not that posh!

Floggingmolly Thu 05-Nov-15 10:20:23

Oh, lighten up fgs, and stop seeing racism in every innocuous little interaction that goes on around you hmm

redexpat Thu 05-Nov-15 10:34:27

You know the bit in Bridget Jones where she is told to introduce people with thoughtful detail. It's a bit like that. A little bit of information to help remember who this child is. Mark Darcy, I'd like you to meet Eleanor. Eleanor is half polish. Mark is a top human rights lawyer.

BeanGirls Thu 05-Nov-15 10:49:11

If you lived in a foreign country and someone said you were the English girl, it wouldn't be racist. And this also isn't.

Ironfloor Thu 05-Nov-15 11:10:59

Got it. Thanks!

WorraLiberty Thu 05-Nov-15 11:12:53

Dear god

^^ That's all I can actually type right now! grin

<< Nuff said >>

catfordbetty Thu 05-Nov-15 11:14:40

* I hardly think Eleanor would be going around talking about her mother's ancestry*

I'll bet she does.

eurochick Thu 05-Nov-15 13:12:55

This reminds me of the Little Britain sketch where they go to great lengths to describe someone on any basis other than their racial characteristics. It's rather silly!

drspouse Thu 05-Nov-15 13:17:20

I imagine Eleanor is proud of the fact her mum is Polish. It's not something to be ashamed of, just like being Black or Chinese are things to be proud of, not ashamed of.

RitaConnors Thu 05-Nov-15 13:22:57

In my group of friends I am 'English Rita'

hedgehogsdontbite Thu 05-Nov-15 13:57:55

I think if there is a touch of racism here it's in the person who has concerns about someone's 'foreigness' being mentioned, as if it's something which is shameful and should be hidden in favour of being thought of as English.

Ironfloor Thu 05-Nov-15 19:58:00

I take your point. It is most definitely not because her 'foreignness' is something to be ashamed of. I come from a country where racism is so strife that even mentioning someone's race can be loaded. So I' very guarded about that. But I see now that it can be equally detrimental as highlighting one's race in a negative way. I agree, your ethnicity should be something to celebrate, not hide.

goodnightdarthvader1 Thu 05-Nov-15 20:05:03

FGS. Is the grip store open?

SmilingHappyBeaver Thu 05-Nov-15 21:02:04

I come from a country where racism is so strife that even mentioning someone's race can be loaded

What country do you come from Ironfloor?

MammaTJ Thu 05-Nov-15 21:10:19

I think it was said in the same way as someone once (only once) described me as Big T and another friend with the same name as Little T, just descriptive.

No biggy!

Unless you particularly want it to be.................................

Topseyt Thu 05-Nov-15 21:28:50

Where are you from that makes you so determined to see racism in everything? You seem totally obsessive about it and will hardly mention ethnicity at all.

Statements of fact are not necessarily racist. If someone is English, French, German, Polish, American then why can they not be referred to as such?

No need to look for something that isn't there.

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