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to avoid a work thing where I worry about feeling a bit stupid

(6 Posts)
tallskinnylatte Mon 02-Nov-15 20:25:18

My confidence has taken a bit of a battering in terms of work- something to do with having a child and being made redundant while on mat leave! I've been working throughout (DD is 6 now) but work freelance and therefore have to put myself out there sometimes- networking events etc. A friend/ex colleague invited me to an academic discussion and I said yes because it sounded interesting- but then I was asked to fill in a template with my brief bio "as pertinent to the conversation" and just got into a panic about feeling and looking stupid. Especially as there are a load of bona fide academics there (I do some pt teaching on a uni course but focussed on practical /real life, and I feel a bit of a fraud doing that). So AIBU to say that I can't go because I've not got the headspace to do it justice. or am I just being a coward (I'm slightly scared of the co-convenor, who hates one organisation I'm associated with). I'm just knackered- more emotionally than anything- and just want a job that I can get on and do, well- but not aim to run the world. AIBU to want that?

RealityCheque Mon 02-Nov-15 20:35:56

YABU

For using the term "headspace".

eastwest Mon 02-Nov-15 20:44:10

I don't think you are being unreasonable, I am in a similar-ish position and I know how draining it can be, but perhaps you should have more confidence in yourself? I am sure you won't look stupid. But - I totally get your last two sentences. And don't think you are U, at all, to want that.

tallskinnylatte Mon 02-Nov-15 21:00:44

Ha ha RealityCheque! Apologies for the terrible word. Can I say I'm just too knackered to string a sentence together sometimes!

Thanks eastwest- confidence is definitely a thing, but I don't think it'll miraculously come back by tomorrow evening.
I suppose the 2nd part of my question is the more important one- missing this thing tomorrow isn't really important but having a panic attack about it is a bit unreasonable. I'm just really conscious that the area I work in is full of bright young things and I just don't feel that ambitious - or capable- anymore.

SwedishEdith Mon 02-Nov-15 21:06:16

You are being a coward but that's ok because lots of us are. Can you focus on why you thought it sounded interesting in the first place?

tallskinnylatte Mon 02-Nov-15 21:45:04

Ta for the pointers- I just panicked and got myself wound up about it, though that seems to happen a lot. I'll have a trawl through the MN work advice.

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