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Please stop me being a bridezilla...

(79 Posts)
chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 08:42:26

Getting married on Saturday. I've been really chilled about everything so far and have not been demanding, rude or uppity with anyone about anything (honest!).

It's a relaxed do with no table plan, no formal meal, speeches, etc.

I've bought three wedding dresses (cheepo ones) - all rather complicated because I lost my baby so wasn't going to be as fat as intended.

I've since been in a really dark place but now out the other side again. Ish. Although now the groom has tonsillitis and is horribly poorly.

Anyway, there's my background. Here's my aibu. Well, I know iabu but I want to get over it.

I've spent a fortune on disposable cameras and my plan is to develop them and distribute photos to the relevant people. A family member has said that it's unreasonable for me to request that people don't put photos on facebook or take pictures on their phones. The groom doesn't even have facebook so doesn't want his pictures published anyway. A friend then said she would fill a whole disposable camera up with selfies of herself so I have to get them all printed (expensive!!)

My reasoning... At my hen do on Saturday, it felt like people spent more time taking selfies, editing pictures, posting pictures than actually connecting amd engaging with each other.

I really don't want photos all over everyone's phones. That's it. Please be kind because I'm really upset about this its very rare that I get upset or annoyed about anything.also very rare that I ever stand up for myself I wish I never bought the disposable cameras in the first place now!

tabulahrasa Mon 02-Nov-15 08:48:12

Not having people taking pictures during set times, like the ceremony is fine and I'd say letting it be known the the groom isn't on Facebook and would rather not have photos of him on it is also ok.

But no photos at all, is a bit unreasonable tbh, I agree with you that people do spend too much time watching things through phones that's participating...

But honestly - it'll be taken as being divaish.

Sirzy Mon 02-Nov-15 08:48:27

I don't think asking people not to take their own photos on their phones is reasonable.

I do think that asking people not to put photos containing you and the groom on is reasonable. As would be asking people to wait until you had put photos on to do so.

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 08:51:08

I know I'm being unreasonable but I just don't know how to not be bothered by this. I'm the least bridezilla person. I just don't want to have wasted all that money on the cameras. £90 is so much money

Enjolrass Mon 02-Nov-15 08:53:17

I think it's ok to ask people to not put it on social media.

Also don't the cameras come with free developing? The disposable ones I get always do. So it would cost you anything and you can burn all the selfies grin

Fuckitfay Mon 02-Nov-15 08:54:24

It's not mutually exclusive though is it, people using their own phones and the disposable cameras. get a groomsman or BM to do a little speech at the end of the ceremony explaining groom is not on Facebook and you'd love them to take as many photos on your disposables as they would normally do on their phones so you can see them all

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 08:56:54

I know I'm being unreasonable but I just don't know how to not be bothered by this. I'm the least bridezilla person. I just don't want to have wasted all that money on the cameras. £90 is so much money

tabulahrasa Mon 02-Nov-15 08:57:20

It won't be a waste, people will take real photos with them...especially if you're not banning phones, they'll take them because those will be your pictures.

If your 'friend' does take a full roll of selfies, you'll know she's not that good of a friend anyway hmm which is worth paying to find out.

I've been to weddings with disposable cameras, you try to take pictures that the bride and groom will like with them, because that's what nice people do.

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 08:59:22

Sorry for double post! fuckit i like this suggestion! Its calming me down blush we have no groomsman and the best man wont be doing any talking but I'm happy to do so. I'm so short on people to do speeches!

MargaretRiver Mon 02-Nov-15 08:59:32

Have you worked out what the developing & printing will cost?
That much again, or more

And the quality of the pics they take will be so, so inferior to the pictures taken by any reasonably up-to-date phone

Could you eBay the cameras & get some of your money back?

Ask people not to put anything on Facebook but set up a private website where everyone can upload their pics, you can check them then everyone can look at ( but not download) them, and you can make up a photobook from them

AlwaysHope1 Mon 02-Nov-15 09:01:16

I think it wasn't a great idea to start with, i mean people could be taking really bad photos and it would have been a waste anyway. Also I'm not sure if you can say no photos during the ceremony bit but the you want them to only use the disposables.
People are going to take photos and use their phone, sorry but you just have to deal with it. I can't see how you can ever say to an adult don't do that, or don't post on fb.

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 09:02:57

You guys are amazing! This is exactly what I needed on Saturday but my cousin was just horrible to me about my worries!
tubulah you're right. Your words are so reassuring!
It's making me think that I'm not actually being a bridezilla and just wanted reassurance!!

catfordbetty Mon 02-Nov-15 09:03:42

Encourage your guests to use the cameras you've provided and then leave the rest to chance. Trying to control what happens about who takes what photo on what device is impossible and will only serve to make you unhappy. As for people being more involved in their phones than each other ... well good luck trying to solve that one!

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 09:04:16

I guess don't post pictures of me/groom on facebook is a matter of privacy /respect

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 09:05:16

cat this is what I hate about life. I'm sat on my phone right now when I could be out enjoying the fog with my dog

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Mon 02-Nov-15 09:08:02

The bit about your friend taking selfies so you have to print them all -
Disposables have films so you have to print them all anyway, you can't pick and choose. So it will cost loads anyway. They're fairly crap quality too.

I think you can ask that pictures of you and the groom are not put on FB et al and that no photos are taken during the ceremony though.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 02-Nov-15 09:09:15

I have been to several weddings where we were asked not to post on social media. No biggie. The idea for one was so her dress wasn't ruined for evening guests, another just didn't want her picture all over Facebook. Her choice, not a problem.

Your friends should respect your wishes. If they are desperate to upload them somewhere, register for WedPics.

DiscoMoo Mon 02-Nov-15 09:09:35

I had disposable cameras at my wedding in 2004 - I've got some fab photos from them, it was lovely to see the photos guests took. Some weren't great but no more than 2 out of every camera.
People will take photos with their phones though and you can't really stop them - so just politely ask them not to share on Facebook.

tabulahrasa Mon 02-Nov-15 09:09:50

"I guess don't post pictures of me/groom on facebook is a matter of privacy /respect"

Yes and it's fine to say that, especially when he doesn't use Facebook.

I take pictures on my phone, for me...so I'd take a few photos of my DP, my DC and of course some wedding ones because I like to have photos to look back at.

If the bride and groom were happily posting on Facebook - I might post one if it was a good one, but mostly they're just my photos...if that makes sense?

But I'd also use the disposable cameras to take pictures I thought they'd like to have rather that nones I'd want to have.

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 09:10:38

Wedpics - I think I might do that!! Bloody disposable cameras! Can I downloaded the photos afterwards?

Ikeatears Mon 02-Nov-15 09:14:43

We used wedpics app for a friend's wedding. Guests signed in to the app using a password and they could share and view each other's photo as but without the world and his wife seeing them. If I recall correctly, there was a card in each table explaining how to install and sign in. You won't stop people taking photos on their phone but you may be able to have some control over how the photos are shared if you pre-plan

BerylCreep Mon 02-Nov-15 09:15:21

I second the suggestion of trying to eBay the cameras and asking people to upload pictures to a website you create.

You could say that you're not on Facebook so you won't see them, but would love for people to upload to chelle792weddingday.com.

I honestly don't think you can ask people not to upload to Facebook, but by giving them an alternative they might not anyway.

chelle792 Mon 02-Nov-15 09:18:01

These sound like good ideas. I've just tried to install the wedpics app. It isn't supported on windows phones hmm

How about cd's for people to send back?

Notso Mon 02-Nov-15 09:19:14

i had 30 disposable cameras at my wedding and I think there was probably ten pictures worth keeping.

CordeliaFoxx Mon 02-Nov-15 09:19:32

I think it's fine to ask people not to post photos on FB, I personally don't post weddings etc until after the couple have posted. You can't really stop people using their cameras though.

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