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leaving baby to cry

(63 Posts)
contractor6 Sun 01-Nov-15 15:50:48

Have a newborn baby which is ebf, mentioned to dh today am dehydrated because when I think to have a drink she wants feeding or starts crying and then I forget. Dh says I should leave her to cry until I have got a drink or finished whatever I am doing, I disagree as instinct is to pick her up. AIBU or is he? (currently making him listen to Christmas songs in the car until agrees with me)

FattyNinjaOwl Sun 01-Nov-15 15:51:59

Carry the baby with you while you get a glass of water. It's what I do

Cadenza1818 Sun 01-Nov-15 15:52:37

Deal with yourself first. Like in an airplane crash! I always fed and watered myself first. How else will you continue to feed otherwise?!

hibbleddible Sun 01-Nov-15 15:53:38

It's hardly leaving her to cry for you to get a glass of water then go to her. Crying for a few seconds won't do her any harm.

IoraRua Sun 01-Nov-15 15:55:08

Either take the baby with you or leave her until you get your drink. But it'll affect your care of her if you don't look after your own needs.

MummaV Sun 01-Nov-15 15:57:28

For the few minutes it will take to get a drink and have some your baby will not suffer. However, if you don't look after yourself you will both suffer.

It's not like you're leaving the baby to cry for hours on end ignoring its needs. Get a drink and then go and pick up the baby.

Sighing Sun 01-Nov-15 15:57:58

Take her and fetch a drink. I also used to keep a bottle of water next to the various places i sat to feed. If i used them i would refil after the feed.

DisappointedOne Sun 01-Nov-15 15:59:19

Any reason Sonny Jim can't bring you a drink while you're feeding?

DisappointedOne Sun 01-Nov-15 16:01:16

(I wouldn't leave a baby to cry for "several minutes" every time they wanted a feed. Put water everywhere you might need it.)

contractor6 Sun 01-Nov-15 16:02:48

Reading its does sound I ABU, just sounded outrageous when DH suggested it!
Sighing - going to use your idea tomorrow. Must have baby brain to not have done that already!

Cloudyflower Sun 01-Nov-15 16:05:15

Baby crying while your grabbing a drink is hardly leaving them crying...my formula fed babies always have to wait while I make their bottles which involves them screaming for a few minutes. Whilst I don't like it there's not much I can do about it and they soon settle back down.

contractor6 Sun 01-Nov-15 16:05:25

Dissapointed- he does when he's there and bring snacks and takes dd off me after to wind her afterwards but he's back at work now and long shifts.

attheendoftheday Sun 01-Nov-15 16:50:12

I never felt OK to let my dds cry, I tried to have a bottle of water and other things I needed next to the sofa ready to go. If need be I would carry and joggle the baby to buy an extra few mins to get a drink before feeding.

PotteringAlong Sun 01-Nov-15 16:52:34

Fill a big bottle of water and just leave it in the living room for when you need it in the day?

WorzelsCornyBrows Sun 01-Nov-15 16:54:42

My first born was a very cranky baby who cried whenever she was put down, for 4 months. If I never let her cry Id never have showered, gone to the toilet, eaten or drank. Your baby will be fine if you need to grab a drink or food.

QueenArseClangers Sun 01-Nov-15 16:57:10

Take her with you or bung her in a sling! That way you get your drink and scoff cake and even go for a wee with your hands free smile
Congratulations on your lovely baby.

BeenAndGone Sun 01-Nov-15 17:00:51

Set up a table with everything you need before a feed as it is difficult to go it once you've started. I would leave a newborn to cry as it can be difficult to latch them on when everyone is feeling stressed. I had water, snacks and my phone/tv remote and then I was set.

villainousbroodmare Sun 01-Nov-15 17:01:17

grin @ Christmas songs

mudandmayhem01 Sun 01-Nov-15 17:02:18

I do understand how you feel though I can remember crying and asking my poor dad to stop the car in a really dangerous place as I couldn't bear 5 day dd crying for less than a minute after our first trip out. It is natural and normal to feel distress at not being able to respond to a tiny babies needs immediately it does get easier and i certainly learnt to get drinks, phone etc before settling down to feed. My second baby obviously had to have his needs balanced against my older child and it doesn't seem to have harmed him.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sun 01-Nov-15 17:02:35

The baby won't explode if left to cry for 60 seconds. YABU.

mudandmayhem01 Sun 01-Nov-15 17:07:25

No one with a newborn baby is bu, even when they are! Congratulations flowers

EWLT Sun 01-Nov-15 17:07:57

I wouldn't leave a newborn to cry, but I wouldn't consider the time it takes you to get a glass of water "leaving her to cry"

TweeterandtheMonkeyman Sun 01-Nov-15 17:12:33

I'd advise you to sort yourself out first (drink, food, tv remote, phone etc) then pick up the baby. But I never managed it myself! I used to literally run to the basket at the first squawk.. blush grin

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 01-Nov-15 17:14:42

Water bottles everywhere. Also, a water boiler so that it is always possible to make tea without delay.

star

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 01-Nov-15 17:18:25

Does your baby show hunger signs before crying? I can generally tell when DD is getting hungry and have chance up grab a drink/snack/a book for the toddler etc before she starts to cry.

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