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To ask whatever happened to personal responsibility

(40 Posts)
LunchpackOfNotreDame Sun 01-Nov-15 10:32:34

Everything seems to be someone else's fault these days

Kids are badly behaved? Blame the teachers
Don't understand politics? Blame the government
Got a health condition that's not getting better but you're not doing your physio or taking your medication properly? Blame the doctors
The list goes on and I'm sure others have better examples than me!

Aibu to ask where personal responsibility has gone?

Dragonsdaughter Sun 01-Nov-15 10:41:37

I don't see any more of this 'these days' except as headliners in the Daily Fail

Osolea Sun 01-Nov-15 10:52:40

I agree there is a lack of personal responsibility, but I don't think you've got the best examples there.

I think parents are blamed for badly behaved children, and rightly so, but the parents themselves might not take responsibility for it.

As for medical conditions, I agree that there is often much more that people could do for themselves, especially when it comes to physio. But the problem is that often these conditions that require physio happen to people that just don't have the understanding or the personality that lends itself to being able to take responsibility well. I couldn't blame people for that, it can be really difficult, especially when it hurts or it's upsetting to do the required research.

There's been so much 'nanny state' over the last few years I can see why people have fallen into the trap of thinking that one government service or another should be there to solve their problems.

UnlikelyPilgramage Sun 01-Nov-15 11:15:01

I find myself agreeing with Osolea.

There has undoubtedly been an encouragement away from personal responsibility and sometimes the results of this have been positive and other times, not so much.

suzannecaravaggio Sun 01-Nov-15 11:18:39

What is the world coming to?
It wasn't like this in my day!
We are all going to hell in a handcart and no mistake!

suzannecaravaggio Sun 01-Nov-15 11:19:17

Kids these days, eh!

suzannecaravaggio Sun 01-Nov-15 11:20:26

And don't get me started on political correctness gone mad!

AlwaysHope1 Sun 01-Nov-15 11:25:52

Yanbu, people don't want to accept responsibility these days because there is every excuse made for it, and a bandwagon of enablers.

I think it goes hand in hand with the desperate need to place a label on everything.

Birdsgottafly Sun 01-Nov-15 11:27:15

I'm nearly 50.

My parents, teachers, in fact every adult around me, drank and smoked to excess.

Drink driving was common.

Accidents, child abuse, rape, DV etc was just the "way of the world" and something that happened.

I hope the "PC gone mad" was said sarcastically.

Your wearing Rose tinted Glasses.

Birdsgottafly Sun 01-Nov-15 11:29:22

I could also site "scandals" which are now only being solved, such as Hilsborough.

If it happened to the WC, women or ethnic minority's, then that was just how things were and no-one was responsible.

Cynara Sun 01-Nov-15 11:29:37

I work for one of the emergency services. Most shifts involve spending most of my time with people who do not require emergency assistance but just want me to sort their life out. It's definitely got worse over the last few years.

Oysterbabe Sun 01-Nov-15 11:31:02

I remember when it was all fields round here.

Birdsgottafly Sun 01-Nov-15 11:35:28

I used to pick Blackberries and ride my bike for hours.

Spero Sun 01-Nov-15 11:36:02

Because if you sign up to the neo liberal philosophy that we are all rational economic actors then poverty, drug addiction, etc, etc can become somebody else's 'fault' for being weak, lazy, stupid etc and not something that the government has to try and do something about.

So we can condemn and judge those who are struggling rather than try to put in place anything that might help.

Like may, o I don't know - provide some help and support for the vulnerable on a nationwide, efficient level? Er, making Amazon, Starbucks etc pay taxes that reflect the profits they make in this country. Make companies pay a living wage, not something so low that it has to be topped up by tax credits.

Well luckily those are going to disappear! That will show those lazy, good for nothings etc, etc.

Or just carry on as we are, with volunteers running food banks etc etc. Thank god they don't respond as 'rational economic actors' as I am sure there are much more economically efficient things they could be doing with their time.

StickyProblem Sun 01-Nov-15 11:38:16

Calm down Nigel.

trapdooragain Sun 01-Nov-15 11:39:22

actually i agree my ex is abusive but its not his fault its because thirty years ago his dad abused his mom and he is not ocd (neither is his mom diagnosed with ocd but refers to herself as ocd) but he allows her to visit her stupidity on the children thus ensuring another generation of insanity over food (trying not to out myself here but she has issues equating food with love and virtually force feeds ds when he goes over it makes him ill but shows he loves nanny and daddy!) again this is not there fault its her "ocd" her "anxiety" she won't be honest with the doctors to get help therefore the kids suffer for it (my personal opinion is her husband and family indulge it way too much because she snaps out of it when it suits her or when she isn't indulged so she really doesn't seem like she has genuine issues unless its convenient for her hmm)

same with his stuff he left a year ago won't collect his stuff this is my fault because i have not arranged someone to collect it (his family are supposed to be collecting it) the kids are dirty when they are collected from nursery this is my fault and im neglecting them (when they are at nursery all day and have clean clothing in the bag)

he lost his documents for his car again my fault because they were in his car when we split so of course i should know where he put them

he has supervised contact with the children when the supervisors go on holiday it is his responsibility to arrange cover he does not do this till the last minute and we all end up chasing our tales sorting it out this is everyone else's fault but his

he has bad acid reflux won't take the tablets daily like he is supposed to only takes them when he has a flare up and they don't work so well this is the doctor's fault

no personal responsibility at all

suzannecaravaggio Sun 01-Nov-15 11:48:01

Just don't get me started

MrsDeVere Sun 01-Nov-15 11:48:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere Sun 01-Nov-15 11:50:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honkinghaddock Sun 01-Nov-15 12:11:53

There have always been people with a limited capacity for personal responsibility.

trapdooragain Sun 01-Nov-15 12:15:17

actually i still cant divorce him he wont sign the paperwork then he will then he wont then he blames me because we are not divorced yet

what burns me is society still expects me to do things for him even though we are apart im STILL being blamed because i didn't arrange for him to go to parents evening he didn't either the school ended up doing it and im scolded because i didn't arrange it for the poor helpless man

im going to get into trouble of the school photos i told him i needed the money before they were ordered (BEFORE) he has seen the kids three times and not given the money over so im not ordering them for him fuck it ive had enough

WoodHeaven Sun 01-Nov-15 12:25:27

Agree with Spero and MrsDeVere.

So OP where are you and can you give more precise examples?

WoodHeaven Sun 01-Nov-15 12:26:58

trap you might nor be divorced yet but fater, at most, 5 years you WILL.
And in the mean time, you are separated and can loive your life as you please.

You ex can blame ypu as much as he wants, yu don't have to think he is right nor do you have to act as if you were to blme (and then run around after him)

cleaty Sun 01-Nov-15 12:28:08

A&E deal with these people more, because they can no longer get their GP to see them out of hours. There have always been people who won't take personal responsibility for their behaviour. And others who struggle to ask for help.

expatinscotland Sun 01-Nov-15 12:31:13

Someone needs to put down the Daily Fail.

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