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AIBU to be furious with DH

(64 Posts)
Boosiehs Sun 01-Nov-15 09:22:51

He has just this second walked in, after going to a Halloween party with some friends leaving me at home (7 months preg) with DS(2). My choice not to go but am knackered all the time now anyway. Not one phone call or text since he left at 7.30 last night. I asked him not to come home too late.

So AIBU to be furious with him for not letting me know where he was? Have been up since 6am worried about where he is and what is going on. Should he have tried to call from pay phone/other person's mobile?

I think so by I imagine I will be told by him I am spoiling his fun night out.

SweepTheHalls Sun 01-Nov-15 09:23:47

I would be absolutely livid. YABU.

Lauren15 Sun 01-Nov-15 09:24:53

That's awful. What did he say when he walked in?

SorryCantBeArsed Sun 01-Nov-15 09:25:18

He went out last night and came back this morning and no phone call??

Natkingcole9 Sun 01-Nov-15 09:25:28

Where was he???!!! YANBU. Hope you're

99percentchocolate Sun 01-Nov-15 09:26:17

Yanbu - I'm pretty laid back but no contact when his behaviour is out of the ordinary is awful. If you are going to confront him about it, i would stay calm - don't say things like "I thought you were dead in a ditch" as he will write it off as hysterical. Instead I would stick to the facts - "I was very concerned about you as your behaviour was unusual and you were out of contact." That'll have more impact.

BathshebaDarkstone Sun 01-Nov-15 09:27:01

I'd have been ringing round hospitals then police stations! shock YANBU.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 01-Nov-15 09:27:33

Bloody hell, I'd be bloody furious.

What's his excuse?, crashed at his mates house and just forgot?

laureywilliams Sun 01-Nov-15 09:27:37

How thoughtless. Yanbu. Does he have form or is this a total one off?

Cookingongas Sun 01-Nov-15 09:27:53

Yanbu! I would have been beside myself. So disrespectful of him to not bother letting you know where he was/ he wasn't coming home etc. you could have been up all night worrying!

SorryCantBeArsed Sun 01-Nov-15 09:28:11

He's a grown man with a family, not a teenager. If he thinks calling you or going home at a reasonable time means it's spoiling his fun then he has a major problem

Boosiehs Sun 01-Nov-15 09:30:20

Thanks all

He has one precious of this. His phone ran out (was using for part of costume). There were no cabs and he had to wait for tube to open.

I am still livid. I told him he is acting like a fucking child.

HackerFucker22 Sun 01-Nov-15 09:30:30

I'd be absolutely fucking apocalyptic. In fact I'd have been on the phone from the moment I realised he wasn't home and I'd have been calling anyone I knew he was with..... If he is going to behave like a child then stands to reason he should be treated as such.

I think it's disgraceful behaviour DP and I have both had our share of overnight benders pre-dc but we'd always call if we were crashing out somewhere

To not even call or text is so fucking rude.

What did he say when he rocked up? Is this usual for him?

Cheesybaps Sun 01-Nov-15 09:34:17

I'm in the same boat, OP (minus having the kids this weekend, thank goodness! Dd is at her Dad's)

DP came home at 7.30 this morning, no contact either. I knew the place he was going to finished at 1.

I'm not proud to say I shouted at him for being such an inconsiderate bastard!

No advice, just solidarity. He's sleeping now and I'm just hmm

Hope your day gets better and you get a massive apology!

GloriaHotcakes Sun 01-Nov-15 09:35:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lauren15 Sun 01-Nov-15 09:35:44

Surely he could have used someone else's phone? That's no excuse.

flanjabelle Sun 01-Nov-15 09:36:37

Yanbu at all. I would be beyond livid.

Boosiehs Sun 01-Nov-15 09:36:44

Thanks cheesybaps. Members of the inconsiderate husband club today. Hope you get a massive apology too!

I just calmly (as possible am hormonal and a bit teary) told him I was most upset by disrespect it showed he has for me.

I'm going out as I can't actually stand him right now.

PhoebeMcPeePee Sun 01-Nov-15 09:37:27

If you're out from 7:30pm until 7:30am there's either drugs, sex or both involved.

Fratelli Sun 01-Nov-15 09:42:09

I agree with Phoebe. Usually being out until that time means drugs. Probably cocaine or mdma. Sorry op

NuggetofPurestGreen Sun 01-Nov-15 09:42:31

That's not true Phoebe. I've done that a few times and have not taken drugs or had sex.

OP that's awful. Can't believe he didn't let you know. I'd go mad too.

flanjabelle Sun 01-Nov-15 09:43:42

What do you think happened op?

NuggetofPurestGreen Sun 01-Nov-15 09:43:52

I mean I've gone out and stayed up all night boozing. Not gone out and not told my DP I wouldn't be home!

Topseyt Sun 01-Nov-15 09:43:54

My DH did this once. Just once.

He had been out for a drink with friends after work and decided to walk the 22 miles home rather than do the sensible thing and get a cab, which I had offered to arrange for him, experience having taught me that drunken passengers are a total PITA, hence why I wasn't going to put myself through that. Not to mention the fact that we had three small children who were in bed at that time and no babysitter.

I was furious with him when he got in at about 8 am the following morning, covered in muck from being such a twat. He was also furious with himself though, knowing what a stupid arse he had been.

I made it clear that if he ever did anything like that again there would be no marriage left to save. He hasn't. That was over 10 years ago now.

Boosiehs Sun 01-Nov-15 09:44:11

Thanks all. He's not showing any signs of anything. Other than booze (had my fair share of lairy nights out when younger).

Oh and signs of being an inconsiderate bastard of course.

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