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To just stop cooking for DP?

(116 Posts)
BlueBananas Fri 30-Oct-15 19:16:08

Me and "D"P are in the midst of day 2 of the same argument
Basically he came home last night and had a huge tantrum over his dinner, I'll try to summarise -
I'm due DC3 in 5 days time, we have a 6 year old and a 4 year old who are both currently on half term, we also have a very spoiled high maintenance dog
I am shattered and in a lot of pain
So Gordon Ramsay I have not been recently - shoot me!
DP is going on and on and on and on and on about how he's sick of going to work all day and "grafting his arse off" [he works in an office hmm ] and coming home to "shitty freezer food" yet he doesn't ever do anything for himself - no offers to cook, no suggestions for things he would like to eat, not even at weekends, it's always just presumed I will do it - but then what I do isn't good enough!

So AIBU to tell him to go fuck himself and just stop bothering? Or is he really hard-done-by and long suffering with a lazy old bitch of a partner who dared to give him oven chips?

Blueberry234 Fri 30-Oct-15 19:17:33

I would cook for you and the children only

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 30-Oct-15 19:18:05


You need to ask? He needs to be grateful he's getting a hot meal prepared for him each night.

waitingforcalpoltowork Fri 30-Oct-15 19:18:50

give him salad

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 30-Oct-15 19:19:03

Either that or I've mysteriously stumbled into 1950.

MummaGiles Fri 30-Oct-15 19:19:12

Tell him you're really grateful that he is willing to cook something fresh for everyone instead because your are so exhausted.

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 30-Oct-15 19:21:10

How have you had 3 children (nearly) with this dick?

toastedbeagle Fri 30-Oct-15 19:22:47

My husband loves his shitty freezer food - chicken Kiev and fries - over anything I cook!

I wouldn't certainly not be preparing food for someone who moaned about what they were given, especially under your circumstances!

What is he expecting? I've bought a load of frozen veg and been making casseroles - literally tip a pack of sausages in a pan and add frozen veg and a can of beans in tomato sauce. It took under a minute to prep then put in low for an hour (or until you want it).

But I'd only make it for grateful people!

TheMshipIsBack Fri 30-Oct-15 19:34:39

What a dick. Don't cook for him. If he asks where his dinner is, tell him he didn't like what you were up to making, so he can FOTTFSOFAFOSM and cook his own.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 30-Oct-15 19:35:30

Just out of interest, what sort of meals would you normally make?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Fri 30-Oct-15 19:37:53

Do it.

I haven't cooked for Dh for about 4 years after a similar row. In my case I was cooking from scratch but he on more than one occasion said it was inedible.

NerrSnerr Fri 30-Oct-15 19:40:42

Why isn't he doing more anyway? Will he be cooking for the family once you have a new baby?

ConfusedInBath Fri 30-Oct-15 19:41:46

Well he sounds charming. hmm

I wouldn't cook for him ever again

Bogeyface Fri 30-Oct-15 19:41:57

Yep, stop right now.

"Where's mine?"

"You said you didnt like shitty freezer food, so I didnt cook you any." and remind him that he will be in sole charge of food prep during his PL

BlueBananas Fri 30-Oct-15 19:44:07

Thankyou! I had genuinely started questioning myself he was making such a big bloody deal of it!

Tbh I'm not going to make out like I'm Delia at the best of times so I don't feel like the food has taken that big of a step down
I can and usually did make things like - spag Bol, chilli, shepherds pie, a roast, tacos, enchiladas, fajitas, curry, stir fry, stews/casseroles, steaks and chicken and other marinaded meats etc etc
Whereas now it's a bit more Birdseye chicken/steak pie/sausages/quiche, chips/potatoes and a bit of fresh veg or mcdonalds
But to actually moan about it - not just moan, to shout about it when I'm lugging about 3 stone of his child strapped to my front?! That's taking the piss at the highest degree really isn't it?!

BlueBananas Fri 30-Oct-15 19:46:31

Well yes I'm dreading his paternity leave now, I'd kind of assumed he'd have taken over most housework/childcare/cooking in these last few difficult weeks, and he hasn't, so god knows what he plans to do with his 3 weeks off when baby comes

M00nUnit Fri 30-Oct-15 19:47:38

If he was living on his own he'd have to cook his own meals. Why does he think that just because he's living with you he's entitled to have you cook for him (as well as looking after his kids all day)? He's being an absolute wanker.

MadameJosephine Fri 30-Oct-15 19:49:36

Yanbu! Definitely tell him to fuck off and never cook anything for the ungrateful prick again! You're not his mother for god's sake so let him make his own dinner. I'd make a rota so you take turns making the children's meal too, after all they have 2 parents

LindyHemming Fri 30-Oct-15 19:53:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum Fri 30-Oct-15 19:55:43

Is he for REAL?
He should be cooking.
I am amazed he is not wearing his dinner.

GreyBird84 Fri 30-Oct-15 19:56:08

DH usually asks me what 'muck' we are having. He is generally joking but like another poster he much prefers junk dinners to proper homemade stuff (I promose I'm a good cook!) so I chucked his dinner plate n all into bin a couple of times when he said it half seriously & that seems to have solved the problem smile

Wolfiefan Fri 30-Oct-15 19:59:03

He's lucky to be fed at all!
Would a slow cooker help? Or a steamer?

I'd get him a series of cans and leave a tin opener out. (Up to you if you want to make it human food or whiskers! grin )

Muckogy Fri 30-Oct-15 20:01:58

fucking hell.
he sounds awful.
his dinner would be going up his arse if he said that to me.

Hatethis22 Fri 30-Oct-15 20:03:27

'Would a slow cooker help? Or a steamer?'

I don't think he'd fit.

PantryofWhoGivesAFuck Fri 30-Oct-15 20:03:48

Go out and buy some spam, smash, angel delight, ginsters pasties, onions, noodle packets, soup sachets, ryvita etc and put in a special box for him.

None of that is frozen.

There isn't enough fuck in this land for him to off to.

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