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To think if you actually want guests to turn up you don't get married on a Sunday evening?

(84 Posts)
pasturesgreen Fri 30-Oct-15 15:48:33

Friends have recently announced their wedding (at mine and another friend's joint 30th birthday party, thus slightly stealing our limelight, but never mind that now...).

They have set the date for a Sunday. The ceremony will be late afternoon, with an evening reception in the middle of nowhere a good 1h30 each way from the city the vast majority of guests and the couple live in. Before anyone asks, the location of the evening do is not special to the couple in any way - they loved the place when they visited, but it could just as easily have been somewhere closer else.

Unsurprisingly, quite a few people have already sent their regrets, and I suspect more will in the following weeks. I've just received a phone call from the bride, who appeared to be rather miffed at so many regrets, and then said it was not her problem if people had work on the following Monday, or childcare commitments, as they could always "take annual leave and book a b&b", and she expected a full turn up of her friends on her special day.

No unmovable work commitments on the part of the bride and groom that would justify the choice of the Sunday, friend specifically told me the reception venue was free on the Saturday, they just liked the idea of a Sunday marriage.

AIBU to think if you choose to marry on a Sunday evening in an inconvenient location you can't be surprised when guests are unable to attend?

VimFuego101 Fri 30-Oct-15 15:51:16

YANBU. It would depend how close i was to them as to whether I wanted to use a day's holiday on the Monday. It doesn't sound like it would be feasible to travel home on the night and then get up for work the next day.

MidnightRed Fri 30-Oct-15 15:51:28

YANBU. I certainly wouldn't be able to attend.

annandale Fri 30-Oct-15 15:51:30

Well, no, yanbu. I would go though, and she is probably right if she thinks that if people don't turn up it's at least partly that they aren't as close as she thought. A painful way to test your friendships.

SurlyCue Fri 30-Oct-15 15:53:15

Isnt it quite normal for people to get married during the week? Requiring people to take off work. I'd prefer a sunday evening than a wednesday or friday. At least you can use the excuse of needing to make an early exit for DC and school/work the next day.

Sparklingbrook Fri 30-Oct-15 15:55:18

I got married on a Sunday evening. blush Everyone turned up but I wouldn't have called the location inconvenient.

I guess good friends will do everything they can to try and attend bit if they can't they can't.

MrsHathaway Fri 30-Oct-15 15:55:32

Sunday weddings are great!

... over a Bank Holiday weekend.

YANBU.

Sparklingbrook Fri 30-Oct-15 15:55:59

*but

pasturesgreen Fri 30-Oct-15 15:59:18

Incidentally, I am going. Definitely a bit of hassle, as I'll have to go into work on Monday (busy time at work and there's minimal chance annual leave would be granted), but the bride is a long time friend.

Totally agree with you, MrsH, I'm all for Bank Holiday weddings [thlgrin

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Fri 30-Oct-15 15:59:57

Is the venue cheaper on a Sunday by any chance?

noeffingidea Fri 30-Oct-15 16:00:48

It isn't her problem if people have work or childcare commitments, and it isn't the invitees problem if they want to get married on a Sunday.
Most people don't really see Sunday evening as a going out night, and probably won't make the effort unless they're particularly close.

shockedballoon Fri 30-Oct-15 16:01:13

We got married on a Sunday - it was significantly cheaper for venue hire and there was more availability.

That said, our venue was in a city centre walking distance from the train station. If we'd've gone for something out in the sticks I would have expected a smaller turnout.

pasturesgreen Fri 30-Oct-15 16:03:29

That's a good point, Bony, we haven't discussed prices but I guess it could be!

BlueMoonRising Fri 30-Oct-15 16:04:34

I like the idea of a Sunday wedding. It's generally a day with less on, so I would be more likely to be free.

BUT I don't think it matters what day a wedding is on, attendance shouldn't be 'expected'. It's an invitation, not a demand! YANBU.

ChinaSorrows Fri 30-Oct-15 16:09:15

Just got married. We did it on a Saturday.
Sunday weddings are SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper.

In my experience, most people who get married on a Sunday are either smaller weddings or much much less inclined to party. I've still never been to one, just sent regrets.

I thing the B&G are incredibly naive and very selfish if they think people will want to take precious annual leave for the sake of their wedding.

thanksamillion Fri 30-Oct-15 16:09:33

We got married on a Sunday because we wanted to get married within 6 months of getting engaged and everywhere was booked up on a Saturday. We didn't have a big evening do though - early afternoon wedding, meal and then a jazz band with coffee etc on the lawn and we left at 9pm for our honeymoon.

Whatever day you have it there will be people who can't/don't want to attend.

yorkshapudding Fri 30-Oct-15 16:11:33

YANBU but better than a midweek wedding. One of my friends is getting married on Tuesday and the venue is about 1.5 hour drive from us. Will be driving home afterwards and getting up at 6am for work the next day but we can't spare two days annual leave each for me and DH as we need it to cover childcare.

Sparklingbrook Fri 30-Oct-15 16:17:32

The church cost exactly the same for my Sunday wedding. envy

PitBlackwell Fri 30-Oct-15 16:18:23

I went to a Sunday wedding do once and most people had left by 8/9m as they had work the next day. You might want to prepare her for that too.

eddielizzard Fri 30-Oct-15 16:24:33

well the bride is going to find that it is her problem if no-one is coming to her wedding because they have to work the next day.

BackforGood Fri 30-Oct-15 16:28:34

Well of course YANBU.
When you book a wedding, then you make choices, factoring in loads of things.
There's a reason that venues are cheaper on a Sunday rather than a Saturday.
Same with the venue - obviously, totally up to the B&G, but if the majority of guests live in one town, then you are likely to get a better attendance particularly on a schoolnight if the venue is close. Of course, they can choose where they want, but it's another factor that makes it tricky for getting babysitters or just being able to get to bed in time to get up the next day.

SilverHoney Fri 30-Oct-15 16:32:54

The venues I looked at were twice the price for a Satutday wedding compared to any other day. Plus had stupid rules about having to book out every hotel room etc. Needless to say we got married on a Friday. Everyone came. I know other friends who have done a Friday, no one minds.

If they are my friends / family I couldn't think of a better use of annual leave than to attend their wedding.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Fri 30-Oct-15 16:37:48

I've never been to a wedding on any other day than a Saturday, but would prefer a Sunday to a weekday, just wouldn't stay very late or drink very much. Unless it was the school holidays we wouldn't be staying over though because of needing to get the DCs to school the next morning.

rookiemere Fri 30-Oct-15 16:37:55

YABU to be annoyed that they announced your wedding date at your 30th - seems like a good opportunity to do so, but YANBU to think that less people are able to make a wedding if it's not on a Saturday. I guess a Sunday is marginally less inconvenient than say a Thursday, but still a bit of a pain.
Also if the wedding is this year, then many people won't have any A/L left.

quirkychick Fri 30-Oct-15 16:39:24

I think Jewish weddings are often Sundays and finish earlier.

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