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To find people who won't join in the general conversation annoying

(33 Posts)
welliesandleaves Fri 30-Oct-15 13:18:19

Just had it up in the kitchen at work again. One particular woman who always tries to cut across the general conversation and change the subject to something she's interested in (usually her kids or relatives). Today it didn't work, people just continued talking over her and she turned to me, who was sitting beside her, and just started talking about her niece's new baby while I was listening to and enjoying the existing conversation we were all having (about 8 of us).

She's always doing this. AIBU to find it annoying and to want to pour my coffee over her everytime she does this.

Booyaka Fri 30-Oct-15 13:32:51

YABU. That sounds pretty normal to me. Conversations change and move on if people bring up something else they are interested in.

DonkeyOaty Fri 30-Oct-15 13:34:36

No yanbu

I would make rabbit ears behind her head whilst making a fresh drink, that would turn into flicking Vs, doubling up with silent mirth and then move on to making quack quack motions with hand before flouncing out.

BanningTheWordNaice Fri 30-Oct-15 13:34:38

YANBU. I'm not great in group conversation s and sometimes might strike up a conversation with the person next to me but would always do it on their terms and ask about them not just start wittering about my interests.

welliesandleaves Fri 30-Oct-15 13:38:00

But that's my point Booyaka. The conversation hadn't moved on and all of us were interested in continuing with it, but this one person tried to shout over everyone else about something different and, when it was clear they weren't interested, she just deliberately pulled me away from a conversation I was involved in and enjoying into a one to one conversation about something she wanted to talk about.

laffymeal Fri 30-Oct-15 13:38:13

I work with a few people like this. In a staff room teachers are always used to being the centre of attention and the oracle within their own classroom. Then in the staffroom you get about 20 egos battling at once, convinced their conversation is the most interesting.

There are two specific culprits who will bellow out a complete non sequitor just to get all the attention back on them.

AyeAmarok Fri 30-Oct-15 13:44:01

YANBU. That would annoy me too. In fact I might have let her say a sentence, say "that's nice" and then turn back to the other conversation.

miaowroar Fri 30-Oct-15 13:56:39

It's infuriating. Once I was riveted to a conversation which was outlining a juicy bit of scandal interesting, and a colleague twice tried to interrupt and was ignored.

Eventually she grabbed my arm and made me turn round to tell me something really boring. By the time I turned back, the salacious gossip interesting piece of information had all finished. thlangry

KondosSecretJunkRoom Fri 30-Oct-15 14:00:36

Oh, I hate this.

And then you are left to either a) ignore the rude person and look like a dick or b) pay attention to the rude person and ignore the original speaker and become complicit in the rudeness.

Yes, I hate this and I normally don't give a stuff about most things. YANBU

welliesandleaves Fri 30-Oct-15 14:01:01

I just don't get why people do this. Do they really think they're so interesting that no matter what anyone else is talking about, anything they have to say is far more fascinating? It really lacks awareness in my opinion.

myotherusernameisbetter Fri 30-Oct-15 14:07:59

Yeah, and the cat over the street has become really annoying and needs to be neutered as it's terrorizing all the other cats..... grin

Did you see what I did there? smile

I am lucky in that I rarely encounter these people (don't talk to many people and don't have a staff room/kitchen etc) but it is annoying and YANBU.

jennifer86 Fri 30-Oct-15 14:17:13

My grandma does this and I assumed it's because she can't follow the conversation, possibly due to poor hearing, so just starts her own. It's really annoying, though, YANBU!

MrPorky Fri 30-Oct-15 14:26:22

Surely the polite thing would be for the group to draw her into the conversation, perhaps by recapping what's been said. Hard to join a conversation if you don't know what's been said, or what the opinions already expressed are. Uncomfortable to be in a room with people and not speak to them.

welliesandleaves Fri 30-Oct-15 15:02:23

But she did know what had been said. She hadn't just sat down at the table. She just decided she wanted to change the conversation to something about her own family, regardless of the fact that she was butting in and trying to change a conversation that was mid-flow.

UnlikelyPilgramage Fri 30-Oct-15 15:12:03

Oh, I know JUST what you mean wellies and no, YANBU.

I find the only thing you can do is sort of "hmm, yeah," them whilst keeping half an ear on the "big" conversation then say "SO, Anna, what did he say then?" to join back in - but it's a pain in the arse!

RoryG Fri 30-Oct-15 15:14:02

I would tell her to wait a minute. As politely as I could. As in 'hang on a sec I'm just listening to what x is saying'

Yellowbird54321 Fri 30-Oct-15 15:19:00

YANBU, I know exactly what you mean (work with someone who does this a lot) and it's really really irritiating.
grin at Donkeys scenario.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 30-Oct-15 15:22:56

Yanbu, people like this are so annoying. And boring! You don't want to hear about her family yet again, and miss out on a good conversation with the others.

You'll have to be rude and tell you are listening to x, next time she does it.

zara020 Fri 30-Oct-15 15:23:03

In play on a darts team with a woman like this. Only last night she was getting on my last nerve commendeering every bloody conversation with her shit story's which are largely irrelevant. Its exhausting. Yanbu

whois Fri 30-Oct-15 15:23:17

YANBU!

There is a girl in our extended group of friends who is more of a friend of a friend who does this and it's SO ANNOYING!

Whoever she is sitting next to she turns to and starts talking about really deep personal intense stuff rather than just joining in with the group conversation.

IamtheDevilsAvocado Fri 30-Oct-15 15:35:45

Yup we had a friend like this at uni.... She would never join in the group, often amusing, convo.... She just couldn't cope if the attention was not on her... She would try and moan to whoever we next to her mostly about her latest car repair bill.... God she was awful.... She was never interested in anyone else!
She didn't survive uni.... I didn't kill her, I just moved without a forwarding address

Alfieisnoisy Fri 30-Oct-15 15:50:27

Yep my son does this too.. he's autistic....and so might this woman be. Cut her some slack.

I do it as well but am much more self aware these days. Have never been diagnosed as autistic but suspect I am.

UnlikelyPilgramage Fri 30-Oct-15 16:00:24

I would be very grateful if someone nicely - as in the example given by Rory - told my brother to wait his turn, although it manifests itself with my brother more by asking weird questions and picking on bizarre topics of conversation (current obsession is with Beverley Allett which causes a few hmm looks when he starts!)

Autism is very difficult, but people with autism do also need to live in the real world. In any case, I know enough people who are definitely not autistic to recognise it isn't necessarily a "sign" of autism.

IguanaTail Fri 30-Oct-15 16:07:05

It's very annoying. I've been in miaowroar's position several times. No advice really that wouldn't make you as socially inept as the interrupter.

pluck Fri 30-Oct-15 16:38:23

I've had this before, too! Perhaps they're trying to tell us that we're the most marginal individuals in the conversation, and would be the least missed! hmm

It is insulting, isn't it?

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