to want to slap a colleague with a wet fish ? Assertive advice needed !(3 Posts)
And I know MN have no problem telling ppl to fuck off.
In brief : been at a new job for a little under 12 weeks and I have to normally deal with two people on another team if I have any queries - (my position is stand alone and I report to a director) one member of the team (let's call her Sue) is lovely always friendly and very helpful been in position for years knows it like the back of her hand. Sue has another team member (Anna) - Anna has been at the company (small private company so no HR) a few months.
I have heard Anna on a few occasions get snippy with other staff about lack of info, she seems to get frustrated and then speaks to you like you're a half wit and will talk over you. On occasion I did here a manager make a comment of 'Oi Oi calm down" between her and another person.
Anna has occasion come in to me to find out some info - she'll want it then and there
more fool me giving it to her straight away when I first started now I have started to say - "I'll give it to you by x time or in 30 minutes" she'll sigh and walk off. I want to throw a stapler at her she walks off
Today I mad a mistake and sent a client some wrong information - all round today was a day from hell generally, and she came blustering in my office "Did you send xx report to Xx?" -
Me "Yup - why ?"
Anna - "I need to see it, now"
Me - "OK ..." And I open the document
Turns out it was the wrong info (no sensitive data) , she walks off to Sue loudly declaring "Paddington made a cock up and I don't know where she got that information from. Bloody hell" - whole office heard it.
I hear this and want to go and immediately
hit her sort her out but think it's not worth it. I immediately send an email apologising and ask client to disregard it.
I suppose what pisses me off is I didn't pull her up on it. But I don't want to be a doormat but at the same time I'm new and getting a feel for the characters in the office, she's definitely a louder character who is sarky. She is in her early 20's and no way would I act like this.
So MN - give me advice what I can do going forward to assert myself. What would you have done in today's situation ?
I'd be direct. Challenge her professionalism. It is very unprofessional to discuss colleagues' performance and mistakes in front of their peers like that. I would probably go to see Sue, and invite Anna, and say just that. I'd also say that the company will be most effective when its employees are working together as a team, rather than undermining each other. I'd then apologise for my mistake, ask for tips on avoiding it in the future, say what you think you can do to learn from the situation, and basically try to make it into a positive outcome. You will come across as a mature problem solver while Anna will come across as a whingy drama queen.
Is she your manager? If not tell her to send an email and you'll get to it when you have a moment.
Office politics are a pain in the ass. Just keep it professional and courteous on your end without being a push over about it.
Next time she asks for something simply say
"Yes, if you need them I can email you the reports. Right now I'm doing X". Then continue doing X. If she persists, repeat.
It's best to think and deal with difficult coworkers like toddlers. Meaning don't take their tantrums seriously and be friendly but firm when you won't let them do something. If they persist, you simply repeat what you said, again like you would a toddler. Works on assholes, works on kids.
I wouldn't worry about her shouting around the office, chances are no one takes her seriously anyway. I'd just keep your head up
and pretend if you have to and act casual and breezy about it. Next time just a quick "Oh whoops! No need to speak to me in 3rd person when I'm right here." Then fix it. You'll look mature, she'll look like the dramatic diva she is.
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