Advanced search

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

(862 Posts)
Sequine Thu 29-Oct-15 17:29:08

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

NotTodaySatan Thu 29-Oct-15 17:31:35

Your DH sounds like a bit of an arse tbh.

Does he think breastfeeding is sexual? Does he not understand that our breasts are for feeding our babies?

Keep on doing what you're doing. You have no reason to change your feeding habits based on his weirdness/hang-ups/ignorance.

And congratulations on your DS flowers

ScreamfulUsername Thu 29-Oct-15 17:33:01

Tonight when your dh is eating, throw a blanket over his head and ask how he likes it.

TheClacksAreDown Thu 29-Oct-15 17:34:19


EvansOvalPiesYumYum Thu 29-Oct-15 17:35:18

Feed your baby wherever you like. If your DH doesn't like it, he can go for a walk. You're right, he's wrong. And should a shop manager ask you to feed elsewhere, you can tell him to go for a walk too. thlangry

TheMshipIsBack Thu 29-Oct-15 17:35:19

Your DH is being a dick, but hopefully he'll get over it. Your baby's only 7 weeks after all. It's your body, so BF whenever, wherever, and however you feel comfortable.

petalsandstars Thu 29-Oct-15 17:35:50

My DH was similar with the first DC. He was told to keep his opinion to himself and I fed where when and how I wanted to. The second DC he said himself how much of an idiot he was the first time. Although then got funny about DC1 copying me bf with a doll.

Don't listen to him. If you are happy feeding in public and it sounds like you're doing great then carry on flowers

Chippednailvarnish Thu 29-Oct-15 17:36:00

Your baby, your breasts, your choice.

Your DH sounds like a dick, frankly.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Thu 29-Oct-15 17:36:15

Scream grin

Helmetbymidnight Thu 29-Oct-15 17:36:17

I like screamfuls idea!

What's the matter with your dh?

MamaLazarou Thu 29-Oct-15 17:36:39

Ignore him. You're doing a brilliant job, keep it up.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine Thu 29-Oct-15 17:37:47

Tell him bollocks. I BFed when the Olympic flame went past. There were news cameras & everything. If he believes your breasts are primarily sexual & should be hidden, tough. They're yours & you aren't his property.

Marshy Thu 29-Oct-15 17:38:12

Breastfeed however you wish. I did it all over the place for a long time. I did tend to use the up and under a loose top technique rather than pulling everything to one side which I think does put more skin on show. Never used a shawl though.
Your choice.

HodgePodge23 Thu 29-Oct-15 17:38:46

My partner has often suggested I should ask the shop owner before breastfeeding somewhere. I just tell him not to be silly and feed my son. Feeding your child has nothing to do with your husband.

BathtimeFunkster Thu 29-Oct-15 17:38:56


Unless he hides himself away when he eats then it is quite mad to start imposing that on anyone else.

carabos Thu 29-Oct-15 17:40:06

grin at scream.

DorotheaHomeAlone Thu 29-Oct-15 17:40:12

Clear consensus already that your DH is being a dick. Just wanted to say well done for feeding fearlessly. It's good for more nervous mums to see.

Andrewofgg Thu 29-Oct-15 17:41:17

Tell him to take the baby somewhere private and do it himself grin

GruntledOne Thu 29-Oct-15 17:42:26

Tell your DH that, in the event that a shop manager asks you to go and feed elsewhere, neither he nor DH should be surprised if you report the shop manager for his illegal conduct.

Gottagetmoving Thu 29-Oct-15 17:45:10

You should your baby when he needs feeding. It is possible to feed a baby discreetly without a shawl.
There is no reason to make a big deal of it either way by being too discreet or too exposed.
It's natural. However, if your dh feels embarrassed he can't just suddenly turn that off. It doesn't make him an arse or a dick, it's something he has to get used to, which he will if you stand firm about it being ok.
You don't have to argue about it.

Ratarse Thu 29-Oct-15 17:45:44


Good for you, it could knock a new mum's confidence. Carry on as you are doing, he is completely unreasonable!

Lunastarfish Thu 29-Oct-15 17:46:42

Your dh is a tool.

My dd is 14 weeks and sometimes I find her under a shawl as she is so bloody nosey she doesn't feed properly but otherwise I just feed without a cover. Thankfully never had any negative comments and my DP is very supportive

Lunastarfish Thu 29-Oct-15 17:47:09


ShamefulPlaceMarker Thu 29-Oct-15 17:49:09

Lol! Wait until you have a 2year old latching on! There's no discretion!

What I did use, in the places I didn't feel comfortable was a scarf around my neck. Not over baby but just as you'd normally wear one, so less is exposed.

Chippednailvarnish Thu 29-Oct-15 17:50:30

However, if your dh feels embarrassed he can't just suddenly turn that off. It doesn't make him an arse or a dick, it's something he has to get used to, which he will if you stand firm about it being ok

He can be embarrassed all he wants, but he doesn't need to push his embarrassment on to his partner and make it a problem for her.
He is a dick and his embarrassment is his problem.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: