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AIBU?

To be furious with my dad?

18 replies

VicWillia · 29/10/2015 13:30

I was let down by childcare today, I couldn't get the day off work myself so as a last resort I called my dad and asked if he would mind having ds (5) for the day. I was surprised when he agreed - reason being my dad is irresponsible and feckless, always has been. I would not normally ask him to care for ds but I was desperate and he seemed really up for it, talking about what he was going to do with ds and I really thought it was going to be ok.

He picked him up at 8.30 this morning, and I rang at lunch time to see how things were going. Ds came on the phone and told him how Grandad was going to take him to the sealife centre and out for lunch when he got back 'from the shops'. My dad lives with my grandmother who is in her late 80s with a lot of health problems, hence why I would never ask her to have ds by herself. I asked my nan if my dad was on his way back, and she said he was.

I've just called again, to find out my dad has not come back. Ds was so sad on the phone when he told me he wasn't going to see the fishes or have a burger after all. So he has now been in the sole care of my 85 year old grandmother all day. Work are letting me leave early.

I am so angry. My dad had one job, to give his only grandson a fun day. But he has let me down and worse, he has let ds down who was so looking forward to this. My dad has disappointed me over and over all my life I don't know why I'm surprised. I'm so pissed off.

OP posts:

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KatharineClifton · 29/10/2015 13:34

What a git he is!

InTheBox · 29/10/2015 13:35

Your poor Ds. Your dad was a twat for raising his expectations. You were desperate but this should really confirm everything you've always known. If it's been going on your whole life this is something you should have expected tbh. But Yanbu to be furious with him.

IjustGotmy2016diary · 29/10/2015 13:37

You rang at lunchtime but you are posting this at 1.30pm. That is still lunchtime.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 29/10/2015 13:53

you are AIBU to trust your dad yet again.

He is a git for being untrustworthy.

VicWillia · 29/10/2015 13:54

Sorry I meant I called at 10 and by lunchtime he still wasnt home.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2015 13:56

If it's 1.30pm, that would be way too late to go out for lunch for my 4yo. I would say that boat has sailed.

VicWillia · 29/10/2015 14:01

I have sent my dp to get him from my nans and they are both going to meet me from work, then we are taking him to the sealife centre and out for dinner. I really cannot afford it but I will not have him disappointed.

OP posts:

Gottagetmoving · 29/10/2015 14:31

You know your Dad. That is who he is - someone who disappoints as you said.
You should not be surprised. Disappointed, yes,.. but it was a gamble you took.
He is totally out of order and now he has cost you money too.
I hope you tell him exactly how you feel and more to the point how your DS feels.

PennyHasNoSurname · 29/10/2015 14:37

His behaviour is shitty. However he hasnt surprised you by the sounds of your description of him so in your shoes id never have even considered him in the firstplace and work would have been told I couldnt come in.

Glad to hear you are all goibg to have a nice afternoon.

Was DP not able to take the day off?

molyholy · 29/10/2015 14:39

my dad is irresponsible and feckless, always has been

So why did you ask him to look after you 5yo ds for the day? No way would I ask anybody with those traits look after my child. No matter how desperate I was.

Maybe you expected more, but her let you down, by the sound of it, not for the first time.

Put it down to experience and don't ask him again.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/10/2015 14:57

No way would I ask anybody with those traits look after my child. No matter how desperate I was. Easy to say. But if you might lose your job, and therefore your housing...

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 29/10/2015 15:05

No way would I ask anybody with those traits look after my child. No matter how desperate I was.
Easy to say. But if you might lose your job, and therefore your housing...

But another solution had to be found as he conformed to type (git).

By the time you are an adult expecting someone to magically change because it is handy for you is madness.

KatharineClifton · 29/10/2015 16:48

You're a proper VicWillia. Have a lovely time there.

VicWillia · 30/10/2015 12:49

We did have a lovely time :)

I saw my dad afterwards and told him not to make empty promises to ds again.

He wasn't sorry in the slightest and instead decided to tell me that I was putting on weight. "gaining timber" I think was the phrase. I'm a size 14. I did used to be a size 12 but had to start some medication and its put a few pounds on me. I told him not to expect to see me or ds in the near future.

OP posts:

QueenArseClangers · 30/10/2015 13:03

Oh darling, he's a prime twat.
He really doesn't deserve to have you in his life

Topseyt · 30/10/2015 13:29

He sounds like an arse.

I half expected you were going to tell us that he was trying to teach your DS "flexible thinking". That was my DH's excuse a couple of times when he made unrealistic promises to our kids when they were that age. DH, isn't a feckless arse in the same way you describe, but just tends to behave as if there are at least 48 hours in a day. Crying toddlers and a good, sharp ticking off from me and he began to learn (a bit).

vienna1981 · 30/10/2015 17:45

OP. Your father is a cunt. Nothing more, nothing less. His behaviour simply confirms what you have suspected for years.

Gruntfuttock · 30/10/2015 18:32

I wouldn't have any more to do with the bastard if I were you.

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